A recent survey out of the U.K. has found that nearly half of Brits between the ages of 18 and 24 years don’t identify as “100 percent heterosexual,” and one quarter of them have had at least one homosexual experience, indicating, what researchers call, an “increasingly open minded approach to sexuality.”
But already that open-mindedness is causing a few problems for some people. A man recently wrote to advice columnist Colleen Nolan at the Mirror asking what to do about his friend who had sex with his sister’s girlfriend’s boyfriend.
“My close male friend of 10 years has just revealed that he is gay,” the man begins. “He has a lovely relationship with a male partner he has been with for a year now.”
Are you following so far? Good.
“However,” the man continues, “he also told me that three years ago he had an affair with one of our mutual male friends–who has had a girlfriend for five years. He has not spoken to him since their split.”
Still following? OK. Here’s where it starts to get a little complicated.
“So, basically, this man cheated to have a gay affair,” the man writes, “and his girlfriend happens to be my sister’s best friend of 10 years.”
That’s some serious made-for-TV drama. But it gets even more dramatic.
“I feel extremely stuck and have told my sister I don’t know what to do,” the man writes. “Neither does she. I feel loyalty to my friend and she feels loyalty to her friend.”
“In the middle of this is a girl who is wasting her days with someone who is gay and pretends he is in love with her,” he continues. “It is an awful situation and, either way, my sister and I both feel guilty. Should we get involved? I feel disloyal to my friend if I share this information, but hideous for the girl involved with his ex.”
Never fear, Colleen has a solution.
“Firstly, her boyfriend might not be gay,” she begins. “It might have been a one-off or to do with him experimenting–I actually know quite a few straight men who’ve done that– or he might be bisexual. Whatever’s behind it, it doesn’t excuse him cheating on his girlfriend.”
She goes on to say that it’s really up the sister to decide whether or not to tell her friend that her boyfriend cheated with another dude, “as she’s her best mate.”
“Perhaps what your sister needs to say to this girl, is that if she loves her boyfriend and wants to stay with him, she’ll support her, but she can’t pretend not to know this information and keep it from her,” Colleen writes.
She continues: “Your sister should realize that it could be a case of shoot the messenger – her friend might side with her boyfriend and freeze your sister out. That’s the risk she takes for telling her the truth.”
What do you think? Should the sister tell her best friend about her boyfriend’s cheating ways? Vote in the poll below.