In general, the “but all guys do it!” excuse should really be limited to waking up at full-alert or tearing up during The Shawshank Redemption.
It should not, under any circumstances, be an appropriate answer to the question “Why do you have Grindr on your phone?”
Especially if the person asking that question happens to be the girlfriend of the guy being asked.
But such is the case for one justifiably confused young woman who recently confronted her “straight” boyfriend about why the little orange icon was tucked away in his phone.
“So the other day I found out that my boyfriend of like four years had downloaded Grindr (shamefully I was looking through his phone). He didn’t have a profile or anything but I confronted him and he told me that he looked as a joke and that all guys look up weird stuff like this. He said it was “just to see what the app was like” but that he is not gay or curious in any way.
Is the whole ‘all guys look at it’ thing true, should I trust him, or should I try to talk to him more about it? Kind of freaking out and really confused.”
Naturally, many of those who responded to her question pointed out the almost-certain possibility that even if her boyfriend isn’t gay, there is a curiosity on his part that should be able to be expressed openly.
“A straight man isn’t going to go near that app,” LoveLiveLearn wrote. “He is curious at exploring his sexuality. He might have used it, he might not have, but he is curious.”
And one gay man offered this take from personal experience:
“All the ‘straight’ guys I’ve met hanging out on Grindr have at the very least been willing to experience some form of love from a guy, regardless of the presence of a GF or even a wife. That I know of, none of my actual straight guy friends keep Grindr downloaded on their phone as a source of entertainment.”
Either way, we wouldn’t advise just “letting it go” and hoping for the best. Who knows, maybe the most amazing threesome of her life could be on the horizon, or it might just be time to embrace being single again.