0. 10. 20. 50. 100. We each have our own individual number of people we’ve hooked up with. Some of us have larger numbers than others, and that’s fine. But a bisexual man on Reddit wonders: What’s the limit?
“I have a very high amount of sex partners in my life,” he writes. “I don’t know the exact number, but it’s 250+, men and women.”
He continues, “As a bi guy, it mostly men, but not an overwhelming amount. So my question to you is, how do you feel personally about it? Does it make a difference if the person is straight, bi or gay? Would you feel differently if you were straight, bi or gay? What would make a difference?”
He adds, “Assuming they only have herpes (like me and most ppl), how would you feel about it?”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Related: Back that ish up: This guy is not here for your petty slut shaming
OK, let’s take a look at people’s responses…
A lot of people wanted to talk about herpes:
“As long as you are safe and happy, more power to you,” one person writes. “But ‘most’ people don’t have herpes. Some, not most. It’s possible to have a lot of sex and stay clean. Please don’t spread a disease because you feel ‘most’ already have it.”
“I don’t get what you mean about ‘most people have herpes,'” another adds. “If you’re talking about genital herpes, the number’s around 16% I think.”
“Idk,” a third person says. “I just know I’ve never slept with a person who has had herpes. I’m not at your numbers, but I’m not shy either.”
Related: Is he lying when he says he doesn’t have any STIs? This new survey has the answer.
(Side note: For those of you curious about exactly how many people in the world have herpes, both HSV-1 and HSV-2, you can read all about it here.)
Others wanted to talk about what having sex with 250+ people must mean about an individual:
“What 250+ sex partners says to me is, this person is a lot of fun, they like to sleep around and don’t invest time in them for a relationship,” one commenter explains. “In the back of my mind I’d probably always wonder if I was anywhere near as good as the others.”
“I’ve slept with maybe 4 people?” another remarks. “250+ is a crazy amount to me.”
“A high amount of sex partners just simply means you should be pretty good at the mechanics of sex,” a third person says. “You could still totally suck in the bedroom … Amount of physical partners is irrelevant.”
Related: The Myriad Joys Of Being A Slut: One Man’s Story
Some people found the 250+ number inconsequential.
“I couldn’t care less,” one person writes.
“Wouldn’t be that big of a deal,” another adds.
A third writes: “As long as you’re not hurting anyone and being safe, the old convention of many partners is waning. Still, I see guys freaking out if a girl has a lot of partners and I’m not sure why.”
What do you think about all this? Is 250+ a “high amount” of sex partners? Is there a limit on how many partners a person should have? Are the old conventions of what an acceptable number of partners is waning? Sound off in the comments…
Donston
This was clearly just someone looking for attention.
crowebobby
Are you including neighborhood boys you jerked off, did the Princeton Rub with or came between the thighs of and guys you got off with in the cinema or on crowded subway trains? How about the guys you did in parks and saunas? Or are you just talking about people you took home (or was taken home by) and got into bed with? Also how old are you? (If you spent a lot of weekends on a cot in the sauna taking on all comers, 250 was going to add up very quickly.) Was most of your activity pre-or-post AIDS and in what country or countries? A bit more detail, please.
Me2
LOL, exactly! When you consider all of those scenarios many can easily match or surpass Wilt Chamberlain numbers.
Jack Meoff
Leave it to crowebobby to take it to a creepy place
Paco
Erm… High number of sex partners and “the gift that keeps on giving”. I hope he protects his sexual partners from his infection. Sounds like he doesn’t since he wrongly believes most people have genital herpes already.
He must have confused genital herpes with the cold sore variety, which could cause genital infection if people aren’t careful.
Bradsman
I have a married, straight friend. I asked him once how many partners he’s had. He answered 6. I almost did a double take. Mine was probably closer to 100. If you’re gay and relatively attractive, available sex is one of the perks.
Donston
No one needs to be told that 200+ sexual partners are a lot. No nympho, sexual megalomaniac or sex worker needs to be told that. This was just a matter of someone trying get a rise out of people/wanting to shock people, especially with the herpes comment. Also, being gay/homo-dominant and good-looking does not equate to having a ton of sexual partners.
Danny595
Having 100 sex partners is both a red flag for poor mental health and a marker of an older generation. But it is not a perk. That number puts you at the extreme high end of the spectrum for gay men. Live as you wish, but you should be aware that you are not living a normal or typical gay life, but an aberrant promiscuous life. Those are 2 different things.
Rock Star
Gee what an amateur. I had sex with approximately 300 people per year for about 25 years before I took a break. For some unknown reason, I was like a sex magnet. Life for the party boy growing up in Hollyweird was quite an active one. And that includes all kinds of sex in all kinds of places, day and night. NBD. Oh, and 4 girls each one producing a beautiful boy upon request. Oh, and one final note. No STD’s or any other sexually related diseases ever. I don’t know if I was just lucky or naturally immune.
Kangol
If you never wore condoms, the answer is lucky for $1000, Rock Star.
stevetalbert
How old is the guy? 250 isnt a lot. If you hooked up with someone every week from a bar (once a week isnt alot, since some guys used to go out 2 or 3 times a week). Times 50 weeks a year (2 weeks off for bad weather sat night or flu) and 250 is only 5 years? I hit that by 25.
stevetalbert
And now with phone apps, im surprised its so low. Maybe there is a difference living in NYC or chicago.
stevetalbert
And now with phone apps, im surprised its so low. Maybe there is a difference living in NYC or chicago.im also assuming the guy is relatively attractive and out going.
JK 1984
To me, the number is a large number of partners, but that is based on my own personal experience.
When I first came out, the one main gay club/bar in my city was too intense for the admittedly tame young man I was. It was also before phone apps (2005-2008). I had a few dates/hookups, then ended up with my current fiance since 2008 and we have been together ever since.
I don’t understand why people judge each other based on their “number”. If you want to have sex with a different person every day or want to just have sex with one person for the rest of your life then that is your choice and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself or feel shame for it.
Paco
In fairness – the guy did ask for opinions. If a person feels proud and accomplished having a number of sex partners in the hundreds or thousands, then they should go on feeling that way no matter what anyone says. If they solicited opinions of strangers, they should be willing to accept the variety of opinions they will receive.
Pats on the back are usually expected from friends and not internet strangers.
JK 1984
Yeah in this case if you want people’s opinions like this guy that is fine.
More talking in general, a lot of people judge this. Too few and you are a prude or conforming to the heteronormative, too many and you are a sl*t, a wh*re, etc….