HOAX ON YOU

Manti Te’o Hoaxer Claims He’s A Recovering Homosexual

Ronaiah Tuiasosopo admitted to Dr. Phil that he was in love with Manti Te’o so that’s why he tried to ruin his life. Okay, understandable. We’ve all been there. Some of us live there.

But the hoaxer hasn’t yet come to grips with his homosexuality, and probably won’t anytime soon.

“If you look at this situation and everything that I’ve been through, I would say yeah I’m gay. But honestly I’m so confused,” Tuiasosopo told ole Quick-Draw McGraw.

As a devout Christian, Tuiasosopo feels he’s afflicted with a case of “the gay” and needs to “recover” from it as one would recover from a drug or alcohol problem.

“It takes a lot of courage to recover from homosexuality and this type of thing and coming back to your real life. As hard of a task it is, I’m going to do all I can to live right.”

No tea, no shade, but being gay is the least of Tuiasosopo’s concerns. Creating a fake girlfriend and leading on some hapless goof, leading to a national scandal and endless late night fodder immediately comes to mind.

Dr. Phil, however, would like to address Tuiasosopo’s gay guilt at some point, probably on another highly-publicized episode.

“This is for another time, but I have so much to say to you about what you just said, because a lot of it bothers me so much,” the ‘stached out psych said. “But we will talk about that another time.”

Well, let’s put a fire under that, Doc, before some other football player/fake girlfriend/self-loathing gay love triangle scandal pops up.