“This morning I deleted a marketing email from Hinge, a high-end, Tinder-esque social dating app that only shows you hot guys if you have friends in common,” blogger Madison Moore in a new op-ed called How To Spot Sexual Racism. “Cool concept. But Hinge was the worst kind of dating app for me because I never matched with anybody. Not one person.”
The issue, Moore believes, is the color of his skin. He’s black. But, he says, “as I swiped and swiped I only saw white guys.”
Related: Michael Sam Sees More Racism In Gay Community Than Homophobia In Black Community
“To be fair, all ‘the apps’ are white,” he continues. “Grindr is pretty fucking white, and so is Scruff, but at least people of color pop up from time to time. Hinge is the whitest dating app I’ve ever been on. I never once came across a person of color so of course that led me to think people weren’t clicking my profile because of the melanin in the room.”
Of course, Moore is hardly the first person of color to bring up this issue. Earlier this year, Michael Sam told Attiude that racism within the gay community is “terrible,” not to mention hypocritical.
“I just don’t understand that at all,” Sam said. “You want to be accepted by other people but you don’t even accept someone just because of the color of their skin?”
And plenty of other people have brought it up as well.
“I’m so annoyed,” Moore writes, “that in 2016 we’re still dealing with this issue.”
Related: Out Former Rugby Player Is Absurdly Hot, Yet Still Experiences Gay Racism
So he’s decided to take it upon himself to school folks on what he calls “sexual racism.”
“If you’ve ever said you don’t date Asian, Latino or black guys, either online, in a profile or with a group of friends, you are practicing sexual racism,” Moore explains. “Period. If your dating profile currently says, ‘white only’ or ‘into white’ you’re a sexual racist.”
Why? Because you’re excluding people based on their race is, by definition, racism, regardless of the reasons why you might be doing it.
Moore continues: “Naysayers of sexual racism always argue, ‘Yeah but black guys sometimes say they aren’t into white guys.’ Desire is political, whether we realize it or not, and people of color who say they’re not interested in white folks are creating community. People of color can’t be racist against white people because reverse racism is not a thing. Read the last six words over and over.”
Related: Scruff Founders Defend App’s Ethnicity Filters — “Personal Preference” Or Casual Racism?
“My queens,” Moore concludes. “White supremacy is real. Every one of us needs to work every day to disentangle ourselves from the toxic elixir of white supremacy. People are people and we are so hot. Sex is cool and cuddling is fun! I want to live in a world where everybody wants to fuck everybody regardless of their skin color.”
“Why,” he wonders, “is this so hard to achieve?”
Good question. Why do you think this issue persists? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Masc Pride
Oh, somehow I bet there’s no such thing as “too many white guys” for Ms. Madison. Just more passive-aggressive complaining from yet another professional rejection junkie. Though it must be nice to always be able to blame rejection on your color instead of having to examine any flaws in your personality that may be repelling others.
DavidIntl
As politically incorrect as it may, I have to call BS. We all have our preferences when it comes to sexual attraction. Personally I would never be so rude as to say ‘no blacks’ on a profile – it is just unnecessarily aggressive. But I see no reason to feel guilty that I have never been sexually attracted to a black guy any more than I feel guilty that I have never been attracted to a woman, or never been attracted to an older man, or never been attracted to a heavier man. Never say never, but it hasn’t happened yet. That isn’t racism. It is a question of innate attraction.
joeyty
Bad bad white guys !
ChrisK
“People of color can’t be ra*ist against white people because reverse racism is not a thing”…So saying you prefer white guys is racism but a black guy saying the same isn’t. That’s some awesome mind twisting. Lol
I guess Moore just loves everyone then. Asian, Indian, fat, old, disabled, etc. Sure wouldn’t want to look like a hypocrite.
joeyty
“‘My queens..’ Moore concludes..”. I don’t think I’d go with anyone, of any color, who talks like that.
kille310
The amount of political BS here is amazing. Apparently you cant have preferences because they can be construed as sexual racism!
Whats next, forcing ppl to sleep with you??!
Its obvious this article as written by somebody on the extreme left, where racism can only be committed by white ppl, and “white supremacy” is the cause of all is problems…
Never mind the fact that he makes no sense whatsoever. Not enough black ppl on grindr? White’s are obviously to blame, because black ppl arent signing up. We exclude ppl based on physical characteristics all the time, (weight, height, age, type of body, personalty, hair/eye color etc) why do you think race is off limits when its comes to personnel preference?
joeyty
@kille310: Queerty is getting more and more like it was purchased by Joseph Stalin.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Imma give this site one more month. If I wanted to waste my precious and rapidly diminishing brain cells on a third rate Buzzfeed (tautology, I know) then I’d…kill myself.
JerseyMike
WHO GIVES A FCUK??!!! I am so tired of black men getting upset because white men don’t want to fcuk them. I am black man who ONLY DATE BLACK MEN.. I have no sexual interest in white men. One of my best friends is white. He knows I have no sexual interest in white guys but that does not get in the way of our friendship. White guys hear me when I say this.. Not all black men want you. Just like some of you are not attracted to black, so of us are not attracted white. Black men have some pride and stop begging..
Masc Pride
@kille310: Didn’t you read the whole thing? Black guys CAN have preferences because, according to Madison, they’re just “creating community”. It’s only evil when white guys have preferences.
“Whats next, forcing ppl to sleep with you??!”
Why yes, that does seem to be the end goal with these types, which I’m sure they won’t classify as rape…unless white guys do it.
justyouandi
I’m not attracted to black guys in the same way I’m not attracted to red-haired white guys, and usually not to blondes. When I see that an otherwise really hot guy shaves/waxes his body I’m turned off, and a guy with a hairy back doesn’t work for me. This has nothing to do with racism; this is ONLY about sex.
Tony Johnston
@JerseyMike: Thank you! I’m black too, and I wish a lot of these guys would just STFU and have a seat. The same guys complaining about sexual r*cism aren’t checking for other black guys (or brown or yellow guys for that matter), but they will scream bloody murder if they see ‘no blacks’ on a white dude’s profile. They also make it seem like all gay MOC want a white man more than another day on earth. It’s so embarrassing.
justyouandi
Some people see racism “in the rising of the sun”!
TinoTurner
I’m a white guy that is open minded. I have been on dates with black guys I sometimes feel the guys are interested in me ONLY because I’m white. Being a white person saying they feel objectified sounds awful….but something about a black guy saying theyre not into other black guys rubs me the wrong way, like its self hatred. Like when you talk to a black guy who tells you they’re mixed, when you ask them what their mix is, they usually say “Haitian and Dominican”….and you ask yourself, are you kidding? Why can’t you just say you’re black and be proud?
JerseyMike
OMG!!! You are so right!! The same black men complaining about white men not wanting them, are the ones who will not look at another black man or other men of color. listen up white peen chasers, they are treating you the same way you treat other men of color. Deal with it!!
Chris
I’ve been hearing “the personal is political” since I was in college almost five decades ago. But you know what, the personal is also personal. And it’s not going to change until people grow up in more integrated settings than we do now.
That’s not to say there’s nothing we can do. If not enough people of color grace Grindr, Scruff, and the likes, it seems to me that they could recruit them in by offering a few months of free premium membership for them to try out the apps. Also, just like Black folk created Motown and Jet as outlets for people who were being discriminated against, what’s stopping someone from creating an app specially designed to appeal to people of color?
The point is that incremental progress is possible to help push larger social change.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
And some don’t care what colour you are as long as you’re not effeminate but that’s apparantly evil ..unlike dismissing a guy for simply not having an eightpack. Get out of people’s bedrooms you freaks.
kansasteddybear
I get so tired of this whining. if you aren’t attracted to someone, you aren’t attracted to them. I am attracted to wide variety of men, but don’t expect someone to necessarily be attracted to me. if someone is interested in a hairy, older, overweight white guy, no skin off my nose. some people just can’t handle rejection. get over it bitch!
JerseyMike
@TinoTurner: Wow!! Its rare for me to agree with everything someone says but I agree with everything you said!! lol. I don’t have an issue with someone dating someone of another race but I do have issue with someone who can’t find beauty in someone who looks like them.
“but something about a black guy saying they’re not into other black guys rubs me the wrong way, like its self hatred” BOOM!!
joeyty
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Funny how we fought for years to have the right to have sex with who we want to, only to have a whole new slew of dictators trying to tell us WHO we have to do it with.
justyouandi
I’m not sure what it is you’re saying, Chris. If I can’t get a hard-on for a black guy, or for a red-haired guy with freckles, what am I supposed to do?
And Prince of Snarkness, I have two good friends who are effeminate but I am not in the least attracted to them sexually. They are very good looking and would be my type physically, but I might just as well have sex with one of my female friends as to do it with an effeminate friend. I’m not making a value judgement of them as worthy people; I just don’t happen to be attracted to them sexually at all.
jrnyc17
So am I sexist for now wanting to date women?
Heywood Jablowme
@justyouandi: Chris was just saying that Grindr & Scruff might want to try some incentives to encourage more non-whites to join up – simply because the apps already have such reputations as being extremely white apps. Seems like a non-controversial idea.
You bring up your “effeminate” friends – okay, but you probably met both of them for the first time in places other than sex apps? Right? And if you had seen them originally on a sex app, they “would be” your type physically? Proof again that pix on a sex app never tell the whole story.
batesnight
That’s so odd, because I was under the impression that those on Grindr were open, welcoming, liberal, and tolerant of others. This paints an entirely different picture.
Heywood Jablowme
I get the sense that a lot of the young white guys on these apps have little or no experience with blacks in any situation, even high school & middle school (never mind sex!) and they lack much curiosity about the world or any sense of experimentation.
At the risk of lamenting the Good Old Days (which were not always that good!), there was more experimentation back when guys met in bars. And sadly, there was probably LESS segregation in general back in the ’90s-’80s than there is now.
However, I can’t believe Madison says “reverse ra*c*sm is not a thing.” I’m white and I had a black boss once who was a ra*c*st a-hole. Well, at least he didn’t force me to have sex with him, lol.
csports286
It sounds like some people of color are looking for validation from white guys. I noticed Michael Sam’s boyfriend was white. And he has an issue with white guys only wanting white guys. That’s crazy. This article paints people of color as victims and it’s not helping anyone.
Chris
@Heywood Jablowme: Thanks. You’re right on many points.
The blog, like too much written nowadays, takes a bunch of separate issues that might be amenable to progress when addressed individually. But when they get mixed up as happened here, the result becomes as intractable problem of cosmic proportions.
Issue 1: the usual hook-up apps are white (Latinos are on Scruff here in South Florida). Then you make some progress by marketing the apps to people of color.
Issue 2: people often rule out dating outside their race. This is what sets up a whole bunch of arguments around whether the personal is political, even though – whether we like it or not – it still IS personal. IMHO, the deeper problem is that we’re growing up in increasingly segregated neighborhoods more than at almost any other time in this nation’s history. So if you want to change people’s attitudes about who they date, try integrating where children are raised.
Issue 3: people are racist. Until people start living in integrated neighborhoods, anti-discrimination laws address one part of the problem. And trying to meet and learn from people unlike ourselves, being kinder and nicer to one another, and a whole bunch of other inter-personal growth is possible.
My point remains: we can make progress; who knows, maybe making this kind of incremental progress might result in the social changes argued for by the blogger.
Mo Bro
My white half says, Shut up, whiner.
My black half says, Shut the fuck up, whiner.
jjose712
And to be fair, there are a lot of black people who are not into this kind of self victimization.
joeyty
(“..tell me what you wantin’ wid de white man’s world..” Elton, 1975)
ChuckF
Most gay men I know like me grew up in white middle class or lower class households and racism was part of that life. I can’t eliminate my racism nor deny but I can and I have pwned it. Most of us have also faced discrimination because we are gay, so it’s somewhat easier for us to see the world through the eyes of others who are discriminated against because of their skin color if we remember that. Let’s try to get along and stop fussing.
dean3000
@jrnyc17: Not dating people with brown skin isn’t a problem. Wearing a T shirt that said I don’t date women would be offensive!
joeyty
@ChuckF: So you think those of us who are only turned on by black OR white men (or Asians or Hispanics) have some type of underlying racism going on ?
dean3000
@kansasteddybear: as I said not dating a certain type isn’t a problem. Putting a sign up is! If you put on your profile no poor people it would be just as ill mannered. How on earth this is accepted in the gay world is beyond me. If this happened in a straight site it would make headlines around the world. Gay people want marriage and equality but don’t want to reciprocate it. Hypocrites
dean3000
@joeyty: no but you do have a fetish thing going on. So you could be with a Dr or a road sweeper as long as they had the right skin colour? anyone who thinks like that needs help
joeyty
@dean3000: I agree with you there. If you don’t want people of a certain race, it’s more polite to just leave it out. Afterwards, you don’t have to pursue someone who responds (if it’s someone you’re not turned on to, for whatever reason).
joeyty
@dean3000: Well…most white guys I’ve met who only wanted black guys sure didn’t want a doctor.
dean3000
@Tony Johnston: if a straight site had no blacks on it this would make headlines. Why is it ok for gay men to do it?
joeyty
@dean3000: And there’s way more than just skin COLOR going on when we get into this area. There’s texture, scent, and sound, too. And….etc…
AtlGuy67
As a black dude, I don’t worry about gay racism because I PROMISE you, for every (fill in race here) guy who’s not into me because I’m black there are 10 hotter ones that will.
dean3000
@joeyty: I don’t inderstand?
dean3000
I should really laugh at these comments. There are people who say exactly the same about all gay people. I just don’t like them or I don’t mind what they do as long as it’s not near me ect. You guys would have a fit if someone said they don’t like gay people.
joeyty
@dean3000: I mean (and I’m only talking about the guys who I’ve known, I can’t say it means everybody) they wanted a certain TYPE to go along with the r@cial attraction. The more thuggish the better.
justyouandi
If you are hooking up with someone for the sole purpose of having sex, the more specific you can be, the better! If a red-haired, overweight, effeminate guy with a hairy back showed up at my door it would be a waste of both our time. I would know I should have been clear in the first place so he would know we won’t be a good match.
dean3000
@joeyty: That’s pretty low
dean3000
@justyouandi: you keep it classy. Don’t worry about character just focus on that dick and asshole.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
Oh look another black or asian chaser that’s wouldnt’ screw someone of his own race if you held a gun to his head, is whining because he can’t get every white guy on the internet to toss him some welfare dick. And he’s entitled to ever white man’s dick after all!
Hussain-TheCanadian
I wasn’t into Asians in my teen years at all, now, I’m crushing bad on a Chinese dude I want to tie up – I use to love dating Iranians, now not really. Is this racism? Of course not, it’s perception and circumstance.
To it racism is essentially crying wolf, and that’s extremely dangerous.
joeyty
@dean3000: Maybe. But maybe it’s just another case of those who only like the Bad Boy, but with a racial twist.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Hussain-TheCanadian: to call it racism***
dean3000
@Hussain-TheCanadian: if you’re not into character is as bad as dating a woman because she has big tits. Straight men a vilified for doing stuff like that but yet gay me get a free pass to be as rotten as the kkk
justyouandi
dean3000, we’re talking about meeting someone for the SOLE purpose of having sex; friendship is not what either one has in mind when they meet in this context. The aforementioned red-haired, overweight, effeminate guy with a hairy back might be someone I’d like to get to know and to include in my life, but we’re never going to have sex. Get real here!
GC1985
Too many fake profiles too. I love those profiles with chest shots. Do a search of one of those chest shots and you’ll probably find it on google. Then you take a chance and meet the guy and he looks more like the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.
As far as the r@cists on this site (like Joeyty and Mask Pride), no comment.
joeyty
@justyouandi: That’s it, exactly. And it doesn’t mean there’s anything WRONG with the person we’re not sexually turned on by, it’s just that ….we’re not. (I’m reminded of how generally-considered-handsome young hustlers sometimes tried to flirt with or come on to Truman Capote, and got nowhere. They didn’t know that Capote’s taste was for the most ordinary-looking middle-aged average joe types).
ddevine
Gentrification (which is hideous and cruel) has brought on a sort of “Anglo invasion.” I live in once-great Silverlake (in L.A.) that was almost all Latino and gay and really fun for many decades. 2009’s horrible recession brought on yuppies, trust fund hipsters and ‘trendy elitist gays.’ And with them it is always white, white, white. And “White FOR White.” So we all got bored and left Grindr. All diversity was gone. Not to mention, the disgusting prejudices of so many white guys. Very, very glad this is finally being brought to light. They HATE hearing it and immediately go on the defense…but they know it’s true.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@dean3000: I think the criticism of those who ago after big tits and bubbly buts (only) are being criticized for their shallowness, not racism. I care a lot about the person’s value system, but it wouldn’t hurt if he looked like Henry cavil (yummm).
Personally I would love to fuck every man from every race, I don’t see why not. Am I going to do it? Nope, I just want one guy to understand and love me. If a person says: ‘I’m going to look for love or sex with one race or skin colour, it’s their loss.
@GC1985: LOL @ crypt keeper. Gian I missed you!
@justyouandi: bingo!
dean3000
@justyouandi: umm don’t try and normalise using men as meat.
dean3000
@Hussain-TheCanadian: it’s the same thing with added misogyny, which is bed fellow with other prejudices. It’s not the character of the person their into its satisfying their fetish.
GC1985
@ddevine: Yea cause we moved elsewhere. Silverlake is grossly overrated in every sense. Way too much traffic too.
White guys are very prejudiced and wouldn’t give most latin gay guys a chance in day. They want masc4masc white men.
It’s a bit sad that these same “masc4masc” white gay men often complain about being discriminated against by other gay men lol (queerty is a good example *cough* joeyty *cough*).
@Hussain-TheCanadian: I’m on infrequently. The Trump trolls on here are demented.
GC1985
@joeyty: Poor little right wing gays… always the little victim in every thing because people don’t put with your prejudices and bullsh*t.
rickperryisgay
I still don’t like chocolate milk and never once cared for yellow fever.
joeyty
@GC1985: I repeat : “‘My queens..’ Moore concludes..”. I don’t think I’d go with anyone, of any color, who talks like that.
joeyty
Though, again , it’s not just about the color of a person’s skin. People with race desires, or race turnoffs, are also going by texture, sound, scent, and sometimes all sorts of cultural attachments.
joeyty
@GC1985: “White guys are very prejudiced and wouldn’t give most latin gay guys a chance in day” Which kind of Latin ?? Which kind of white? How many Cubans do you think would bring a “lowly” Mexican home ? How many white WASPs would date a Jew ?
Black Pegasus
*Yawns*
Well at least the whining snow queen has something in common with the white guys he lusts after.
– none of them want anything to do with Black guys. lol
joeyty
“White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk” James Rado, 1967
Bob LaBlah
@rickperryisgay: Too bad. You have clearly been blinded by the light. All of that glare is what drove me the hell out of this backwater town (I recently moved back home to because of retirement) when I was a kid out to Los Angeles.
joeyty
..and how many here feel an attraction to albinos ? Just curious.
RayM
Oh, Sweet Jesus. Giancarlo is back? Fuuuuuuuucck.
BitterOldQueen
@DavidIntl: Perfect response to this sort of nonsense. I have nothing to add.
BitterOldQueen
I’m an older, bald, white guy. So now everyone has to be into me, too? Damn, hon, there aren’t enough hours in the day!
jonasalden
@JerseyMike: I will agree with one thing you’ve said: “Black men, have some pride and STOP BEGGING WHITE MEN TO WANT YOU.” That said, “preference” is informed by the Racial Hierarchy. There’s no way around it, but what are you gonna do, drive yourself crazy over it?
John
@jrnyc17: No, someone will say your misogynist…
Bob LaBlah
@jonasalden: Regardless of background or ethnicity people are people. Some people prefer wine to whiskey and vice versa. Never kiss anyones rear end for sex nor friendship. The oceans are too full to waste your time on what isn’t interested in you.
Brian
You can’t bring intellect into an argument about whom one prefers to go to bed with. Sexual preference – as opposed to orientation – is a fetish. It is a “within gender” paradigm – eg I may be ORIENTED towards men but my PREFERENCE is for big bald men with pot bellies and body hair.
Am I discriminating against skinny men with no body hair? Sure I am. It’s my right to do so.
Is it a nasty or bigoted discrimination? No, it isn’t.
surreal33
At this point, it should be crystal clear Grindr, is the definition of dysfunction. Why anyone would expect to find anything but the absolute worst of the gay community is beyond reason.
Sexy1887
There is a guy on grindr he played games with guys for years and i need to report him his name is Fern Beaulieu he played me on grindr he was playing me with this guy that he is with and he will hurt him
Tobi
@RayM: I had foolish hopes that Obamacare would mean no reduction in its meds. *sigh*
mattpj71
In my neck of the woods (Western Australia), it is very, very rare to see a black guy on Grindr. I bet if a black guy did put a profile on there, there would be a stampede to try and hook up with him!!!
not a clone
the topic has relevance but not sure this is the messenger to address it, he needs soul searching and deep analysis of the subject before trying to educate others
dean3000
@Bob LaBlah: imagine a gay man wearing a tshirt at pride saying I don’t date women? It would be offensive. Everyone knows that but to broadcast it is plain rude. The same as not fats fems Asians or blacks. It’s insulting and avoidable.
dean3000
@mattpj71: ugh. Is that supposed to be a compliment?
dean3000
@jonasalden: I agree and I wouldn’t want to be insulted by someone saying I’m not welcome here if I used those apps. No one is forcing you to change you’re personal preference better to say I prefer this type rather than I hate that type. It’s just good manners
joeboyle49
I KNOW EVERYONE HAS THERE PREFERENCES BUT I DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND IT IM OPEN TOO ALL RACES. I LOVE BLACK GUYS AND ASIAN GUYS I LOVE THERE SKIN. MY PREFERENCES ARE MOSTLY FOR YOUNGER GUYS THEN ME.
Rolias81
@mattpj71: I’ve been to Perth and Sydney and I have definitely not had a problem with getting a date.
Stilinski26
No Latinos? what? Latinos are so hot. and you know there are other non white gay men out there as well right? I bet this guy wouldn’t even bat en eye on Asian men.
jag4313
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 14 years so I never have been on dating apps. But when I was single I had 2 types I went for, Men and Dick. If I was attracted to you, I’d pursue you. It didn’t matter the color of your skin. I’m white and I’ve been with white, Hispanic, black, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern and so on. I do not understand when guys say “No Blacks” “No Asians”. Just try them out, you’ll love it!
Mo Bro
@RayM:
My sentiments exactly.
joeyty
@jag4313: And a gerontophile doesn’t understand why you won’t go ahead and have sex with 80-year-olds. “Just try them out, you’ll love it!”
Godabed
@TinoTurner: it’s because you don’t understand how ingrained racism, and colorism affect other races. not in the since of haiti and the Dominican anyway, but there is a documentary call Black in Latin America, that points out exactly why someone who is from that region would say that they are mixed. here is the link. https://youtu.be/6RlG4b3LV9o
the video explains it all, but that’s a much deeper conversation that needs to be had in communities of people of color. Not just black, but brown, native, and yes even asia, because as the article points out white supremely is everywhere especially in the gay community.
This discussion always gets reduces to dating and sex, and it’s not about that, for example, the BLM movement in Toronto, things like this http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/black-lives-matter-toronto-pride_us_577c15aee4b0a629c1ab0ab4 , gay whites upset that LGBT BLM interrupted pride for LGBT people of color demands. There are a lot of gay white spaces, and very few where there are just people of color or a very diverse crowds, in the gay community people are categorized and sectioned off.
As far as latin men, most of them seen in the gay community pass as white. Or are very fair skinned., there is a lot of tokenism. So to those people stating this is just about sex, you aren’t seeing the bigger picture, or you don’t want to.
Godabed
I’m leaving this here, for people who still don’t understand what a preference is https://youtu.be/UfJKAJSAZbA
joeyty
Just as it’s rude and unecessary to put “No blacks, no Latins, no whatever..” in any type of personal ad, it’s rude for some to tell us we’re missing out on something if we don’t have sex with those of other races we’re not attracted to. We’re not children being told to try food on the plate and being pleasantly surprised at how good it is. We know what we like before we even do it.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Mike Yenni’s contribution to this discussion:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/–FeINlP8GlI/VQjaBetRNjI/AAAAAAAAMbA/WadFQJXeXks/s1600/IMG_3861.JPG
DMRX
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Feel free to step away before your month is over. Some of us are tired of your constant complaining.
BTW…I think you enjoy gripping too much to follow through.
Kieran
Does EVERYTHING have to be about RACE in America?
mrzodiac2003
Yes there is such a thing as reverse racism.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@Black Pegasus: Exactly.
Heywood Jablowme
@joeyty: “We’re not children being told to try food on the plate and being pleasantly surprised at how good it is.”
I’m so glad you brought up that analogy because that’s exactly how I was starting to think of your attitude.
OK, you want Chicken McNuggets (it’s all white meat!), and daddy needs to cut off the crusts on the PB&J for you. And he better not try to put canned peas in the Kraft Mac & Cheese.
Kangol
@dean3000: Thank you. One thing the Queerty article doesn’t address is whether Moore is interested in and dates all the other men out there. You are not going to change white racism and white supremacy with these kinds of articles, and what you end up with is exactly what this thread has demonstrated yet again. @Kieran: When hasn’t it been? Do you have any concept of US history? It began with the white settler colonials slaughtering my Native ancestors. Wake up!
Kangol
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: LOL. That little Catholic schoolboy he was turning out wasn’t Griffey Jr.-esque, though. He wanted that white twink meat. Your photo makes me wonder if he wasn’t also getting some dark meat on the side. Baton Rouge has a lot of both to spare.
Kangol
@joeyty: You’re back on the anti-Semitism tip, I see. WASPs date and marry Jews ALL THE TIME. In fact, many supposed “WASPS” may have Jewish ancestry, as DNA tests are showing (and 17%+ have direct African ancestry too. Look at that r@cist pig James Watson, who slagged off on black people only to learn he had African American ancestry. Just self-hating and pathetic.)
joeyty
@Kangol: As Phillip Roth said, “We took pride in being the worst team in basketball. Because, unlike the gentile, we’d never put so much effort into perfecting something so meaningless.”
joeyty
@Kangol: I think American history began long before white settlers. With Native American tribes slaughtering each other over land.
joeyty
@Heywood Jablowme: If I DO want only white meat chicken McNuggets, that’s my choice, and nobody will order me differently: not ministers, priests, imams, nor p.c. gay Stalinesque activists.
joeyty
BTW : You folks who think WHITES are r@cist against blacks haven’t dealt with Japanese or Indians yet. Oh man….they make us whites look like amateurs there (like they make us look like amateurs with the spelling bees).
Bauhaus
@joeyty:
You have a lot of hang ups.
Blackceo
I swear…some of y’all White gays are experts on this site of dismissing racism when Blacks try and call it out, and Whitepslaining racism when one of your own commits it. Bravo. This is why we have our own pride celebrations.
Bob LaBlah
@dean3000: “imagine a gay man wearing a tshirt at pride saying I don’t date women? It would be offensive. Everyone knows that but to broadcast it is plain rude. The same as not fats fems Asians or blacks. It’s insulting and avoidable.”
I can’t remember the exact year (it was in early 90’s) a friend and I were at the annual Labor Day Wigstock party in NYC. Not only did we notice how many gay men were walking around wearing t-shirts saying “I don’t mix with breeders” but so did the host, Lady Bunny, and she called them out on it. She told them the truth “if it were for breeders your gay ass wouldn’t be here so lets ALL get it together”. The crowd roared with approval.
Rolias81
@Godabed: That is literally the same thing I’ve been trying to type out but my posts keep getting flagged. I really wish people would lean the difference between a preference and a requirement. There is a difference! I prefer beer, but I will drink a glass of wine.
GC1985
@joeyty: You don’t even know what you’re talking about. Poor little thing.
Jordy
There’s a race and ethnicity filter. #ByePClicia
GC1985
@Bauhaus: Understatement of the year lol… hang ups are the least of his problems.
joeyty
@GC1985: hush
Daniel-Reader
So it sounds like the real article should have been about the lack of participation by some people in apps, since he said he wasn’t finding certain people on the apps. That would be more productive than complaining about the people who are participating on the apps. Also, race is a nazi-originated construct (classifying people) that has no bearing in science, but it has such a popular notion in people’s heads that many cannot let it go. Color (melanin production levels) would be a more accurate assessment of discrimination occurring, since other physical traits are shared by people regardless of color.
Tony Johnston
@dean3000: I don’t see how it would make news. These are personal ads, and the sites don’t have much control over what preferences people publicly share. For the record, lots of straight white guys go on record about their preferences as well, and it hasn’t made any headlines. Gay sites just constantly write about Grindr, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything significant. It’s usually just shameless click bait.
jag4313
@joeyty: I’ve never met an 80 year old that I was attracted to. But a 73 year old, yes.
jdboston617
Wait… what? I’m confused. Isn’t this statistical odds showing what men are online? No one is preventing a non-white person from showing their ab profile.
And I actually don’t find this true in the Boston area. There are a lot of Latino men. There are fewer black and Asian men, but, there are both that I see and as I noted, in proportion to the population, I see a fair representation. This doesn’t make any sense to me.
jdboston617
@Blackceo: I don’t dismiss racism at all. But I’m this article is referencing the amount of non-white men using an app. What’s that have to do with racism? It’s a sample of the population within a specific area and the users online. These are unrelated.
Racism IS very real. But that’s not what this article is about.
declan2
I think there is even more racism towards Asians. Putting that line “No fat,s fems or Asians” is highly offensive since you are making it cleat in an obnoxious way that you have disdain fir certain types of people including Asians based on your stereotyped view.
I’m sure you could find one Asian or one black guy or one Latino guy that you would end up finding attractive. To make a preemptive strike and shut out a whole race from the start is like a landlord putting up a sign saying he wont rent to gays under any circumstance.
dwes09
Never thought i would agree with joeyty on anything but when he says “If you don’t want people of a certain race, it’s more polite to just leave it out. Afterwards, you don’t have to pursue someone who responds (if it’s someone you’re not turned on to, for whatever reason), he is absolutely correct.
We all have preferences of all sorts regarding sex, but we don’t have to hurt people’s feelings.
I had someone hit me up hard on a site, and i simply said “no thank you”. He wrote back “why?” (he was in his early 20’s). I responded “that is not a proper question to ask, I was polite, why take an opportunity to be hurt, or make me lie to protect your feelings?”
He got it.
Godabed
@Rolias81: I was flagged at least 3 times before i posted that… this site… i swear..
Ukin Blome
So many people, so worked up about so little. A glory hole in the dark equalizes all men. Just make sure the hole is big enough to stick your ass through.
michael_michaels
The reason racial preferences are so problematic is because everyone doesn’t have the freedom to not be affected by them the way White gay men do. White gay men generally have access to all races and ethnicities. Even tho a good majority state they do not find other races and ethnicities sexually attractive, they still are the most sought after. Gay White men generally will not hear “Sorry. I’m not into White guys.” Not from other races and definitely not from other gay White men. The same cannot be said for other races of men who are gay.
michael_michaels
One way I feel we can combat sexual racism is to stop chasing White love. That is to say, start dating inside your race OR date other non-White gay men. We have to start loving ourselves more and finding each other sexy and beautiful and desirable. We indirectly reinforce the White Supremacist ideal that dating White men is the best when we dismiss our own and other non-White gay men. Black men and Asian men, for example, are often the biggest targets of sexual racism. And instead of sitting and hoping a gay White guy will finally see the beauty in you, date each other! That’s not to say to ignore sexual racism, but we have to let people with strict racial requirements stay together. And gay men of color need to love together.
michael_michaels
Another way we can fight sexual racism in the gay community is to stop treating our White gay friends who DO date interracially like they are special. They don’t get a gold star for treating people like people. It should just be a normal thing and we should treat them as such. By creating a space of normalcy for interracial relationships we create a space that easily shifts when someone comes into it with rigid racial preferences in men.
NestleQuik89
As an gay black man I disagree.Everybody has their own preference whether its race or body type and some people need to accept that. Personally It makes more sense to say what your looking for in your profile instead of what your not looking for. Even though I’ve noticed majority white males prefer their own race, there are also those who like to date/hookup outside their own.I must admit though the only confusing thing for me is when I see somebody who is also looking for new friends.Once again though it’s an preference thing but I think that shouldn’t matter when it come to friendship.
Ukin Blome
I am white and I am only attracted to white guys sexually. My friend is black, he also is only attracted to white guys. My Husband is white. He finds black men very attractive sexually. We are attracted to who we are attracted to.
deppa
@michael_michaels: @michael_michaels:
Very good point.
refutingking101
@michael_michaels: Best comment by far along with your other comments. Strangely, the yearn for “white love,” I feel, may elevate queer white men’s confidence and reinforce their position on the queer social hierarchy (this is an assumption, but it’s basically true by social construct). If queer men of color come together, that may actually change our narrative without outcry.
Nero35
Since when was sexual desire and attraction governed by political correctness?
If a social media app like Grindr or Scruff is too white, then what is the solution? Give a pity f*** to an African American, South Asian, or Asian guy to avoid the perception of being sexually racist? Eliminate certain filters to avoid given preferences or preferential treatment to certain groups? Did anyone consider that an alternative might be to create an App that better caters to the fill in the blank minority being sexually maligned?
Seriously, grow a backbone, generate some self-confidence and people may find you more enticing.
Filters on Grindr and Scruff are amazing, and while you can eliminate a particular filter, it does not change the fact that people like what they like, and want what they want, and seek their own satisfaction and fixation with regard to their own particular fetishes.
To an Asian man that may mean I go for blond white guys. To the blond white guy that may mean I only gravitate to a Latino with a sweaty uncut cock fresh from the gym. To the Latino that may mean I only dig hairy Daddy types with ripe pits. Which brings me back to the Daddy type who only digs twinky Asian smooth bottoms.
My point is everyone one has something that stimulates them and gets them going at a particular moment or time in their life. Those may evolve from what they know (Captain Whitebread) or they may dive into more exotic and Spicy waters. Figure out what it is that motivates you and go after it — of course with some common sense and self-respect.
I´ll close with some personal insights that probably to some will come across as Sexual Racism ‘– if that exists, but I do feel it is only fair why some people turn me on and other´s turn me off — and yes over time and experience it does become generalized with racial undertones.
There are some men that just get me horny and hot: I really dig hairy uncut met — so Europeans, Latinos, and some South Asian men will simply rock my work — especially if there is just the right amount of self-confidence, good humor, manners and honest. Honesty and transparency go a long way with me. Through in a middle Eastern man — whether Arab, Persian, or Pakistani, and I´m equally there.
Now on the other side, my experiences with Asians and Blacks have not been as enjoyable or fruitful. Out of the 10 black men I´ve played with only 2 have really turned me on, and part of it was their self-confidence, that thick ¨not giant¨uncut cock, and that smooth head. The other 8, had a thuggish, not the best hygiene that turned me off. I don´t think that qualifies as sexually racist, but it certainly influenced future perspectives and opinions. To be fair there have been black men that I thought were attractive, but didn´t consider me of any interested ‘– they had their own type — other black men. I certainly didn´t hold that against them. Plenty of fish in the sea.
My experience with Asian guys is much more limited, perhaps 5 total, and only one guy a South Korean with a cut cock, but a confident demeanor and a nice but yet independent streak to him was amazing — we hooked-up a few times before he found someone that turned him on more. Again no regrets. The other 4 Asians sad to say were miserable experiences, with multiple issues: effeminate (nothing wrong with that per say except that it turned me off), too small endowments (6 inches was essentially 2 inches, again honesty is always the best policy, saying inappropriate things like ¨I love you and want to be your husband¨– despite just meeting you 5 minutes ago — really tends to freak me out, and finally the worst, was do you want to fuck me and there isn´t any picture face, cock, or ass. Okay maybe if the lights are low and I´m desperate and want a cum dump (It really is hard to evaluate attraction if you can´t see it in front of you) and finally, you can´t tell anyone because I live at home with my family and they don´t know — at 30 yo, they know.
As I write I see a theme emerge, my own desires — I like masculine men, hairy, prefer uncut — they tend to be European, Latino, Middle Eastern, and yes some blacks and one Asian, but they all had one thing — self-confidence. It´s probably the single strongest pheromone of them all.