Even Stephen Hawkings' Voice Can't Make Her Sound Smart

Mariah Carey Induces Nausea

Singer Mariah Carey shouldn’t be allowed to speakperiod:

Before a big show I’m not allowed to speak for two days. It’s boring writing notes. I need Stephen Hawking’s voice machine so I think and it comes out in a robot voice.

Because God forbid Carey go two days without offering the world her wisdom.