Facebook — err, Meta — has been on a massive rebranding mission as CEO Mark Zuckerberg attempts to steer the ship away from its former namesake, towards yet-unrealized virtual and augmented realities.
Apparently, he’s also rebranding employees themselves.
Employees at the social media giant will now refer to each other as “Metamates,” Zuckerberg announced in an employee town hall on Tuesday.
According to Meta’s vice president of augmented and virtual reality, Andrew Bosworth, the term is a play on the naval-inspired slogan used at Instagram: “ship, shipmates, self.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Tech reporter Alex Heath was one of the first to share the news:
– last value, and I am not making this up: “Meta, metamates, me”
A slide shows this text in bold all caps next to Zuck talking
I am told Zuck said this without laughing and explained it had to do with a story about ships and shipmates
— Alex Heath (@alexeheath) February 15, 2022
As one commenter pointed out, “It’s a long long longtime Navy thing – “Ship, shipmate, self. Which makes sense when the failure of the first thing – ship – sends the other two to the bottom of the Atlantic. Very much less so when you can just go work for Google.”
Reaction to the new name probably isn’t what Zuck was hoping for:
Metamates sounds like single-serving Metamucil packets. https://t.co/PSuEQAqJc4
— John Bradley (@johnwbradley) February 15, 2022
Metamates sounds like a dating app for polyamorous people to set up their current partners with new partners https://t.co/nT5ydMbeC8
— Ellen Nitchals (@EllenNitchals) February 15, 2022
I’m sorry. I can’t.
Just… #MetaMates. pic.twitter.com/3jbtH8Ny50
— James Whatley (@Whatleydude) February 15, 2022
i try to not mock company branding too much — i work for techcrunch, which sounds like a cereal joke from the Silicon Valley show — but metamates is Not Good
— alex (@alex) February 15, 2022
It’s a “hold the nose” long for me. After today I have to hold my nose a little stronger.🥴
“Metamates” sounds about as appealing (to me as a shareholder) as Ballmer jumping around the stage in his “Developers-developers-developers” monkey dance.
Scratch that, LESS appealing.😩 pic.twitter.com/cNyCMf9F1z
— Conspicuous Lack of Capital (@RomanSPQR) February 15, 2022
“Metamates” sounds like a really douchey dating app
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) February 15, 2022
Omg, the early Metamates jokes are already rolling in. On one internal chat, an employee posted a head on chin emoji and asked, “does this mean we are on a sinking ship?”
— Sheera Frenkel (@sheeraf) February 15, 2022
Wait, so it’s now a Facebook (ok Meta) “company value” to put yourself last, after your employer & then your “metamates” co-workers? Why does anyone still work for this company?
— Serenity Now! (@Cpo10za) February 15, 2022
“Metamates” sounds like something a Paleo dieter will corner you and warn you is in the food you’re currently eating. https://t.co/hz1Tyqpwx2
— Elizabeth Picciuto (@epicciuto) February 15, 2022
I’m sorry but “MetaMates” sounds like a dystopian dating app https://t.co/XgD492ED7G
— Vera Bergengruen (@VeraMBergen) February 15, 2022
Question @ FB: How do we further alienate our own employees?
Answer? Call them Metamates! https://t.co/5fRamXdhLp
— David Teicher (@Aerocles) February 15, 2022
How do you do, fellow metamates? pic.twitter.com/sv3KXQYXnx
— Ian Brennan (@nannerb) February 15, 2022
Metamates is actually pronounced meh-tahm-ah-tees. It’s the Ancient Greek god of surveillance.
— Angus Main (@MainAngus) February 15, 2022
Dreading the day I begin getting metamates requests.
— Dan Primack (@danprimack) February 15, 2022
rangerwilcox
yikes. he’s trapped in his own mind.
Creamsicle
This was an awful rebrand.
1) it’s too techy. Not everyone wants to use AR and VR. They’re not as user-friendly as Zuck seems to think
2) AR capable devices have existed for over a decade and it’s still a gimmicky thing for tech-savvy and tech-oriented people. It may be getting *more accessible and streamlined* but rhe digital divide is still serious in the U.S., not to mention how bad it is abroad. Heck, there are affluent communities in the U.S. that don’t have reliable high-speed internet service.
3) nobody f’ing asked for it.
As a rebrand, it’s been a failure. Investors sold enough stock to start a panic dumping and Facebook stock is down significantly compared to November, and I actually think it’s just the beginning.
If Facebook was toxic to teens and young adults, then Zuckerberg’s quickly cobbled together “metaverse” is going to be even more harmful by training young minds to be dissatisfied with their lives in 3D, and immersive audio. It doesn’t address the underlying issue that Facebook feeds users the most engaging content, regardless of whether or not it’s good for their mental health or tricks them into falling into tinfoil hat conspiracy rabbit holes.
curiobi
At what point does the board put him out to pasture? He is clearly losing his Lizard mind!
Gadfeal
I think that “social media” is a platform though up by Aspergics, as it quantifies “friendship” in upvotes, and promotes selecting dates by an impersonal laundry list of criteria. It’s inhumane; relationships are unpredictable and no “perfect” ONE that you consciously describe will a) want you, or b) have some quality that is a “no go”.
I remember when it was chance encounter in clubs. Now, its a numbers game – and one of decreasing satisfaction as the numbers add up.
Why didn’t he just interact with the rank and file to gauge their reaction?
Heywood Jablowme
The terms “Asperger’s” and “Aspergic” are outdated and no longer used in neurology. Please use autism and autistic instead.
As someone with mild autism, I also need to ask please don’t blame Facebook on us! OR online dating!
Ambonec
Another Autistic here.
As Hans Asperger has been found to be more complicit with the Nazis for gathering
disabled children to be sent to death camps, his name is no longer used by decent people.
Fahd
Where does the customer come in in this new value system? These ‘meta… terms’ sound like something from Dilbert or a revival of The Office.
Maybe he should turn the whole thing over to some professional managers to try to salvage things before the stock value tanks even more.
How much longer are governments going to standby while consumers are abused and maltreated? The European regulators are not amused. Maybe it’s a start.
Brian
One of the tweets above hits the nail on the head. The phrase was meant to remind sailors of their shared duty to keep the boat above water (or else they die). At a private corporation where your boss is one of the richest men on the planet, that phrase is absurd. It also sounds like a brainwashed cult.
Cam
Giving them cute little nicknames won’t do anything if you still treat them like crap.
Also. the entire time Facebook was claiming it wasn’t helping Trump, many in media neglected to point out that one of their earliest investors, and member of their board was Trump stooge, Peter Thiel.
So yeah, they were helping Republicans.
Mr. Stadnick
Metamates sounds like a new drug one might take at a douchey Coachella like festival. It is in line with the concept that customers in every shop now are called guests. “Next Guest”, the team member at Walgreens called out.
cubcmh
Meth, Methmates, Melph.
nm4047
Why does this need to be publicised on anything other than facebook, only ppl that have any interest in the dinosaur social media site will have any interest.