DOUCHE OF THE WEEK

“Marriage Is Not About Love,” Says Catholic Nutjob Bill Donohue

douche-weekEach week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. 

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Of all the ridiculous reasons we’ve heard religious nutjobs give to justify their opposition to same-sex marriage, this one may be the worst. In an interview with Current TV’s John Fugelsang, current president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, Bill Donohue, claimed the “idea of two men getting married is one of the most bizarre ideas in human history” because “marriage is not about love.”

But what, exactly, does Bill Donohue think marriage is all about? Babies, of course! “The whole purpose of marriage is to make a family,” he says. “It’s not about making people happy, it’s not about love.” He still believes sterile heterosexuals have the right to be married, though, claiming they’re still “anatomically equipped” for children.

Though he claims to loosely support civil unions, Donohue believes the idea of same-sex marriage is bizarre namely because he can’t think of “a single society in the history of the world…that would ever entertain this.” Perhaps he had fallen asleep during history class, or conveniently forgot about the same-sex pederasty unions in Ancient Greece, the lesbian wedding ceremonies of China’s ancient Ming dynasty, or the fact that thirteen of the first fourteen Roman Emperors were believed to be homosexual, two of whom were legally wed to other men.

Aside from marriage equality, another “absolutely bizarre” concept he can’t seem to grasp is marriage between two people that love each other. For Donohue, marriage should be treated strictly as an “act of duty,” or, a union between two people uninterested in each other for the purpose of creating children that can also marry people they don’t care for, and so on. He claims there are psychological and emotional advantages to having both a mother and a father, but isn’t it more psychologically damaging for children to be raised by two heterosexual people that hate each other than two homosexual people in love?

Hey Bill, how do you feel about marriage between two douchebags? Because honey, you are a Grade-A DOUCHE.