Mary Cheney Births Son!

Blesses news from the White House: Vice President Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney has given birth to a son, Samuel David Cheney. The 8 lb, 6 ounce boy came bursting into the world this morning at 9:46. Miraculously, the lesbian’s love child does not have horns or a pointy tail.

Ms. Cheney and her girlfriend, Heather Poe, are no doubt relieved that their controversial child has come out safe and sound. Congratulations to the Cheney family – except for you, Dick. You blow.

In celebration of young Mr. Cheney’s birth, Family Pride will be hosting a virtual “baby shower” on which readers can chat about the little bundle of joy.