big reveals

May 5’s Coming Out: If It’s Oprah, We’ll Die. If It’s Michelle Rodriguez, We’ll Change the Channel.

May 5 is going to be so annoying. A famous person will come out, around noon EST, and we’re going to have to rush a slew of posts up on this here website so we can thin-slice the shit out of it, because that is what my boss demands. That makes my job hard! But as publicist Howard Bragman throws an arm on his the small of the back of his newly open (probably musical) client and guides her (but probably not him) to The View and Larry King or wherever, we already know how we’re going to react if the big reveal is about one certain individual over another.

Our reaction, of course, says less about the significant of such an event — coming out is still a big deal, and a bigger deal for The Famous! — and more about our attention span, since we wade through gay this and gay that all day long. This reveal better stimulate our glans!

UPDATE: Queerty‘s guess: Singer Chely Wright. Read why here.

The Ones We’ll Lose Our Shit Over The surprises of all surprises. These folks might be straight, very well could be gay, but most shocking of all will be their acknowledgment of it. And that they would go on The View, People, and other talk shows to discuss it — how declasse — is also a factor. Not necessarily the “OMG, he is gay!!” variety, but celebs of such caliber that even we’ll do a double take.

Tom Cruise
Oprah (and Gayle King, of course)
Dolly Parton
Ellen Page
John Travolta
Eric McCormack (He’s married with kids, so that’d be a big deal)
Hugh Jackman (Same as above, but he, his wife, and his gay partner and more in a throuple relationship than anything else)
Tyler Perry
Kevin Spacey

The Ones That We’ll Put Down the Doritos For We like to think we already know these candidates’ sexuality, whether we’ve independently confirmed it, it’s an open secret, or there just isn’t any way they could be straight. But still, we’ll pay attention only because we’re interested in why they’re revealing it now.

Queen Latifah
Wentworth Miller
Missy Elliot
Shelby Lynne (Running favorite)
Pam Grier
Alicia Keys
Kelly Clarkson
Matt Bomer
Venus Williams
JC Chasez
David Archuleta
Jonathan Knight
Anderson Cooper

The One’s So Obvious We’ll Change the Channel Over These folks are basically out already, but may have never said the words into a reporter’s microphone. So that they’re “coming out” is sort of a non sequitur, because, well, really?

Johnny Weir
Zachary Quinto
Michelle Rodriguez

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79 Comments

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    I am fairly certain once the identity is revealed we will be more likely to toss our Doritos……….

  • Cam

    The thing about Michelle Rodriguez is that when “The Fast and The Furious” came out, she and all the magazines were saying that she was dating Vin Diesel, he confirmed too, she talked about their relationship, said he was a great kisser etc…

    Well since it’s pretty well known that she is a lesbian, you have to ask why Vin Diesel would agree to publicise a fake relationship? Sounds like he should be on one of the lists up there too.

    Also, shouldn’t Kevin Spacey be down at least on the 2nd list?

  • Jon B

    Umm… you’d lose your shit over JC Chavez? Okay… Queerty has lower standards than I thought. And why isn’t Taylor Lautner on that list? If that little gay came out, we’d have tweens across this country marching in pride parades and hauling ass to washington to confront conress (although they may demand a Constitutional Amendment to ensure that he can’t marry anyone but them).

  • Adam

    Am I the only one who thinks it’s really important that we, homos and homo media in particular, turn a cheek or two to this sort of shameless attention-grabbing? Why should this be such a big deal? It will be such a drag if we let celebrity coset-exits become huge media events. Which is obviously where this is heading. So lame.

  • Sammie

    Didn’t Matt Bomer come out in an interview? I think a reporter asked him about his sexuality and he didn’t deny it right? Someone correct me. Pam Grier, wow. I’ve heard the Kelly Clarkson and Alicia keys one — but is it because they wear pants a lot and aren’t always in dresses, just sometimes lol…I still don’t get the rumors about those two.

    Does anyone else? Help me understand. Dolly Parton? Wtf, if that’s true what a sham of a marriage! She’s been married for decades! And Venus Williams? Um….I feel sorry for her boyfriend Common, if that is true.

    Whoever it is, (probably Queen Latifah), good for them. It’s still a big deal for a lot of people.

  • Arthur

    @Jon B: You’re right! Copy/pasted into the wrong category. I moved him into the 2nd category.

  • Kevin

    Serena is the one dating Common. Not Venus.

  • JasonB

    JC Chasez will really make you lose your shit?

  • Observer

    Vin Diesel??? Isn’t the that Raging Stallions Studio f/f reject that only the deaf, blind and dumb think can act? You know, the one who ever actor around him in every scene has a look on their face “this scene is going to ruin my career” when they have to do one with him?

  • Cam

    @ No. 9 · Observer

    I didn’t say he was talented, I said he was a closet case. LOL

  • Brandoise

    I never thought about Missy Elliot but now I think it could be her or Queen Latifah. If either of these ladies come out it would be huge because there are NO (visible) African-American GLBT.

    And @Sammie: Venus Williams is not dating Common her sister is! Venus does cite Billy Jean King as her idol and mentor. Venus keeps her personal life a guarded secret and has never been photographed w/ a boyfriend.

  • Jeff

    It isn’t Oprah because being the ratings whore she is, she would use her show only for the big reveal.

  • FreddyMertz

    @Jon B: lol

  • Jacob

    The answer to this “Comming Out” Is Missy Elliot.. As if we all didn’t know she was lez.

  • greenluv1322

    I’m black and a lesbian and I know for a fact that it is Queen Latifah!

  • Jonny

    Chace Crawford anyone?

  • Lamar

    Am I the only one that has never heard of these Alicia Keys is a lesbian rumors?

  • Chitown Kev

    @Lamar:

    Maybe, but then to be perfectly honest, I’ve never heard of the rumors about Venus Williams either.

  • Forrest

    All the hype just shows how abnormal the Majority still thinks we are. Sad.

  • Lanjier

    Jodi Foster

  • AxelDC

    Oprah would be the one to split the Earth open. Since her show is ending, it’s also the perfect way for her to go out.

    As the most powerful woman in the US, American housewives would be shocked to learn that both their TV afternoon gal pals, Ellen and Oprah, are Sisters of Sappho.

    As for Dolly, I’ve never heard rumors of her being a lesbian, but she has called herself a drag queen.

  • Ryan707

    ….how do we know Zachary Quinto is gay…is that for real?

  • Landon

    Uh lolololol at Kelly Clarkson being a lez

  • Mike L.

    Where is John McCain on the list???

    How about George Clooney?

  • Mike L.

    President Obama???????

    I mean it would make sense that he’s straying away from the gays so he doesn’t become a target of speculation, but it may backfire. LOL

  • Kyle24

    @Brandoise:

    uhhh….African American LGBTers

    John Amechi – Basketball Player
    Sheryl Swoops – Basketball
    Darryl Stephens – NOAH’S ARC
    Rupaul
    Little Richard
    Tevin Campbell
    Tracy Chapman
    Luther Vandross
    Lee Daniels
    Alice Walker – Author
    Johnny Mathis
    Keith Boykin

    These were just off the top of my head.

  • Brandoise

    It’s not Oprah. Oprah handles her own press. Oprah would come out on her talk show or magazine. She doesn’t require the assistance of Howard B.

  • Tonic

    @Ryan707

    I don’t think it’s public, but Zachary Quinto is DEFINITELY gay. I have a straight friend who got freaked out when Quinto came on to him hardcore while they were both in junior high school.

    Wish he’d come on/come on to me.

  • Brandoise

    @Kyle 2: Except for Ms. Swoops no one else on your list is relevant in the mainstream. John A. came out last year, long after his career ended plus he was a bench player most of it. Little Richard hasn’t officially come out. Luther would have been a good GLBT advocate but he never came out either, he died first. I forgot about Swoops though, thanks for reminding me.

  • Scott

    Haha I remember when there were a bunch of people who said they saw Vin Diesel at a Homo Hop at 5ive Nightclub in Toronto a few years back…

    No, OF COURSE it wouldn’t be him…he is as straight as an arrow…

  • DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12)

    @Brandoise:

    Uhm, how about Wanda Sykes? I doubt anyone is going to call her “irrelevant”.

  • DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12)

    @Brandoise:

    oh, and E Lynn Harris. another openly gay African-American.

  • Damien

    Well since it was rumored to be a female I am going to guess Queen Latifah or Missy Elliot.

  • TONYD

    Vin D was a bouncer at a gay club, but turned down all advances (even the gossipy queens would have nothing). lol I want Condi Rice, or John Travolta- aiming high. Weir annoys me. JC is as bland as Bass. Female tennis and golf players are a given “duh,” like male ice skaters. Oh what if it’s Halle Barry or Betty White?

  • Ricky

    Everyone at hawker is saying the celebrity is Shelby Lynne. Just am FYI. I’d google her but I’m still sorta let down by the randomness of it all. Someone please, who is this Shelby?

  • Ricky

    Gawker. Not hawker. Damn you, iPhone.

  • GuyReechy

    MRod isn’t a lesbian u idiots. She’s bi. Get a clue!

  • DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12)

    @Ricky:

    American pop/country/rock singer. The only thing I know her for was her collaboration with Live on the track “Runaway”. She’s got kind of a husky voice, not a bad singer at all, just not my style.

  • fredo777

    I think you’re under the assumption that this news will only reach gay audiences. Keep in mind that there are lots of non-LGBT members of the viewing public who might be surprised to learn that plenty of oft-speculated-about celebs are gay b/c they don’t always follow the same is-he-or-isn’t-he? rumors as closely as we do.

    My mother, for instance, had no clue that there were ever any rumors about Ricky Martin being gay before he came out. Yeah…

  • Forrest

    It’s worth repeating that if it’s a woman, even a high profile one….the reveal won’t be as meaningful as an A list male star.

    The girls, due to our sexist society get the benefit of not being seen nearly as threatening or immoral as us guys.

    Our enemies constantly attack gay men, we almost never hear about lesbians in context of marriage or DADT. Too many straight people can’t get over anal sex. That’s all they think of when they see gay men. Pathetic. Since not all gay men do anal and statistically straights have more of it.

    Lesbians are mostly left alone because joe schmo can picture Playmates getting it on and ignore reality.

  • Tim W

    @DR (the real one, not the guy who made post #12): Wow you named one of my favorite songs by one of my fav bands(although they are now broken up). Her vocals are great on that song. But before that I had never heard of her. But not into country music.

  • MickW

    Condi Rice would be a good one, I never even thought of her.

  • MickW

    Also, Alicia Keys is with Swiss Beats, rumored to have had an affair with him while he was married, so if anything she has to be BI but never heard that before.

    And Venus Williams is known to be into white men, I follow the black gossip sites and they have photos of her with her man all the time.

  • chris

    The Gawker writer is an idiot. No way it’s Shelby Lynne. Nobody even knows who she is. It’s most likely Latifah or Kelly.

  • jason

    This just seems like yet another marketing ploy which women generally like to exploit in order to increase their visibility and incomes. It reminds me somewhat of prostitution. Therefore, I have no respect for the woman who’ll be coming out nor for Howard Bragman’s enabling of it.

    Now, if it were a man, it would be much better. However, a man would not undertake a sleazy marketing ploy in the way women do. A man would simply come out and leave it at that. No People covers, no interviews on Larry King…it would just be simple.

    Men generally take their sexuality far more seriously than women. Women, on the other hand, treat it like an accessory where the aim is to extract economic security.

  • CONVERSATION CHAMBER

    @Forrest: Forrest, that’s your own personal bias talking. A lesbian coming out wouldn’t be as meaningful to *you*, simply because you’re a gay man and would rather relate to another man than a woman. To say that a female celebrity coming out wouldn’t be as “meaningful” is arrogant (presumptuous and selfish) as hell on your part.

    Yes it would.

  • Mike

    Zac Efron or Taylor Lautner…that would get the most press if a young “It” guy comes out. And to be quite honest prob the best thing that could happen to the gay community b/c younger people would take notice.

  • Forrest

    @CONVERSATION CHAMBER:

    I still stand by my contention.

    Don’t agree with it but men occupy a larger stature in society. lesbians can be filed away in the harmless category.

    Gay men have much more of sick stigma attached.

    That’s why there are so few major gay male stars who are out.

  • alan brickman

    it will be a career move for money..not because they are proud….

  • Vox

    Don’t even try and pretend for 2 seconds that Oprah coming out wouldn’t hold equally as much weight as any male celebrity.

  • Hilarious

    I’m surprised Brad Pitt isn’t at the top of the list. If he came out as bi or gay my jaw would drop.

    I’d love to hear all the housewives claim they “Knew it.” all along.

  • james franco

    james franco

    “howl” (allen ginsberg biopic) is out this year. that’s a good way to kick off a promo tour.

  • jeffree

    NEWS to break, but not hearts:
    Shelby Lynne is the front-runner on a couple three blogs (gawker, here) but there are *COMPLICATIONS*:

    1) Google shows she is scheduled to perform in Chicago @ the Park West on May 4 @ 8:00 pm. That would make her hard-pressed to hit the morning talk shows on either coast on May 5.

    2) I dont think most people under 30 –maybe 35? — have heard her or of her.
    Thus, this won’t be supah-big news IF it is her.

    Back to the drawing board…..

  • ewe

    D E S P E R A D O

  • Duane

    Shelby Lynne would actually be a very big deal. Having an openly lesbian, multiple Grammy Award winning COUNTRY artist (her primary genre) would be breaking down some serious barriers. The only true gay country artist to this point has been KD Lang and, of course, country is one of the biggest genres of music in America with a major reputation for homophobia.

  • jeffree

    @Duane: I don’t doubt you; perhaps the 35 y/o & older crowd will know her. (I’m fixing to download some of her music, just in case) but if she’s coming out on 5/5 why will she be performing in Chicago on 5/4? How’s she going to appear on TV in the a.m. after that?

    I grew up in CW music territory and don’t know who she is, Whoever she is, if she comes out, bless her southern heart, but I doubt she would make as much impact as a better-known singer, actor or celebrity,

  • LOL

    @chris:

    Yeah, no guy would do a People cover? Oh, wait, except Lance Bass did it only a few years ago.

    Dude, I’m not all that happy that someone, female or male, is going to these extremes to come out either, but, Forrest, you don’t have to demean women while trying to make a point.

  • GiGi Simsbrook

    ..and what about Ms. Seacrest or her sister Ms. Cowell?

  • Larkan

    It isn’t unusual or difficult to do a concert in Chicago and be in NYC the next morning. Celebrities hop from one coast to another to do the talk show rounds all the time. Doing the cover of People to come out reaches middle America. The ones that use People are reaching more of the mainstream than those like Ricky who didn’t. I have relatives who still don’t know he’s out and won’t believe it because he wasn’t on People.

  • jason

    Alan Brickman,

    You are so right. Women exploit the bisexual double standard in order to get preferential treatment over men. They knowingly do this in order to get the money and the acclaim that is given them by the sleazy liberal media and sleazy straight guys in general.

    I call it “whoring out your sexuality to the sleazy straight guy fantasy at the expense of the GLBT cause”. The women who do this are vile and should not be celebrated under any circumstances. Under no circumstances should we in the GLBT be celebrating these women.

    Howard Bragman can expect a backlash from the GLBT community if it’s one of these females.

  • jason

    I kind of cottoned on to the existence of the bisexual double standard when I realized the existence of women who would claim to be bisexual while clinging to their strictly straight boyfriends. These ho’s were simply being used to recruit other women for threesomes for the sexual benefit of the man and for the economic benefit of the female recruiter.

    I then studied pornographic movies containing both genders. I realized that 99% of such movies permitted the women to interact with each other. However, in these same movies, the men were strictly confined to interacting with females.

    I then studied the music industry. I was horrified to see women like Katy Perry and Britney Spears and Madonna playing up the stereotypical bisexual female role that fits in with male heterosexual fantasy. It horrified me that female singers were prepared to sell themselves in this way. Male singers, on the other hand, were always marketed as strictly heterosexual, and definitely not bisexual.

    I then looked at how the media treats female-female sexuality as compared with male-male sexuality. It shocked me to see that female-female sexuality was glamorized whereas male-male sexuality was couched in terms such as “controversial”. Even the liberal media was responsible for this.

    All the above should demonstrate to the GLBT community that we need to be very careful when considering whether we should celebrate female-female sexuality or not. My point is that it isn’t always good for our community, and doesn’t always reflect a genuine acceptance.

  • transman

    I thought Anderson Cooper came out already…

  • goofball

    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: It is D level celebrity Chely Wright ….but who in the world cares? Appropriately 15 minutes of fame.

  • HNL

    I doubt it is Zachary Quinto. He said he likes to keep his private life private. So why would he announce it to a magazine? If it is him, I’ll be surprised. Not because he’s gay but because it would be totally unlike him to do the media whore thing.

  • HNL

    I highly doubt that it is ZQ. He says he likes to keep his private life PRIVATE. So, why would he announce it to a magazine? I’d be surprised if it is him. Not surprised by him being gay, but surprised at him doing the media whore thing.

  • Ted C.

    How about Jim Parsons (Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory)? Big Bang Theory has exploded in popularity in the past year, and Jim (who seems like a nice guy) must be finding it more and more difficult to avoid mentioning his sexuality.

  • Ted C.

    @Kyle24: John Amechi is British, not African-American.

  • Hilarious

    @Ted C.: Black people who were born here and not in Africa aren’t African-American either, hasn’t stopped anyone from using that silly phrase yet.

    The only African-Americans are people who were born in or were citizens of Africa and moved here. There are plenty of white African-Americans.

    I refuse to use the phrase on black Americans. It’s like calling white Americans who were born here European-Americans.

  • Chitown Kev

    @Hilarious:

    I’m really not going to get into this real deep.

    Speaking for myself, I’m a black American. Personally, I don’t like the term “African American”; I know many people that don’t like the term and I know many people that do… African American is more of an “ethnicity” than a race. But that’s to me.

    And I will not tell anyone how they should or they shouldm’t identify; mine is a personal preference.

  • Seth

    @Larkan: exactly, just so you all who don’t live in Hollywood know, celebrities don’t get paid to be on talk shows or in magazine. Some to it for publicity and some do it because the want their story to hopefully touch another life on this planet going through the same thing.

  • jason

    At post number 61, I’ve got 4 thumbs up and 2 thumbs down. Some people are agreeing with me. I hope my views resonate throughout the GLBT community. I’ve become very concerned about this “phony acceptance based on titillation” that surrounds female-female sexuality in modern society.

    I think we in the GLBT community need to draw the line. We need to tell sleazy straight guys and their female enablers that we are not going to tolerate this notion of phony acceptance. We need to tell them to go fuck themselves.

    If that means hurting the feelings of some liberals, so be it. It is liberals who promote this phony acceptance – just keep that in mind.

  • RK

    If you look about half-way down this page of an article from a 2003 interview in No Depression magazine, you could argue that Shelby Lynne has already come out….

    http://archives.nodepression.com/2003/09/this-years-model/3/

    Excerpted:

    You’ve considered suicide?

    “Haven’t you?” she says, and laughs bawdily. “Oh, I don’t know, man, you know how you feel when something like that is going down. You feel like you don’t want to live. I wrote some of these songs about a relationship I had years ago. That one was a heartbreaker. I had to walk out. I had to say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore.’”

    So the person didn’t come back, and you didn’t kill yourself?

    “She did come back,” Lynne says in a fitful, comic burst of air. “But it still didn’t work out, either.”

  • Sam

    @jason: There’s criticizing society’s phony acceptance of lesbians based on titilation, and then there’s criticizing lesbians themselves. Those are two very different things. You don’t seem to realize that.

  • MissGluteusMaximus

    Snooki?

  • shea

    Um, Jodie Foster anyone? Most likely in the second grouping there, but certainly an obvious name to just about anyone…

  • shea

    @jason: “We need to tell sleazy straight guys and their female enablers that we are not going to tolerate this notion of phony acceptance. We need to tell them to go fuck themselves.”

    Um, excuse me. I am a part of this GLBT community that you’re ranting about, and no, I am not an enabler of straight males who seem to think my relationship with my partner is “hot”. Do not lump lesbians into the category of “bi-curious” sorostitutes who doing what they are to get their man off. We have no interest in such a thing, and I’ve done plenty of the “tell(ing) them to go fuck themselves” to stupid hetero males who want to talk about my sex life with my partner.

    Please do not use the actions of others to question whether or not female-female sexuality should be celebrated. It damn well should be, just like male-male sexuality, and hell, sexuality period.

  • ewe

    Will Joe Lieberman be officially announcing he is heterosexual?

  • ewe

    @shea: Touche’. And whoever said a penis was the center of the universe anyway? Let’s give credit only when credit is due.

  • Missy

    I am so in love with Shelby Lynne. When she comes to my town I am going to say, look, Shelby, I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I am half your age, but I am in love with you. Let’s go to Mexico City. Marry me. I hope it works.

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