unprobable causes

Maybe Maine’s Rainbow Flag Thief Was In a Gay Pride Emergency

If it completely contradicts Christianity to steal the Bible (didn’t somebody once say something about thou shalt not be stealin’, yo?), does stealing a rainbow flag immediately revoke your gay card?

While it’s unknown who nabbed the flag flying outside the Emerald City shop in Portland, Maine, which sells these cute Mermen figurines, maybe we should give the thief the benefit of the doubt and consider he was really, really in desperate need of a way to show his pride. But when you’re done with it, please return it to its proper owners.

(NB: Nobody has ever stolen either of the two American flags the store has flown.)