SHITHEADS

Maybe Vander Plaats, Santorum, And Bachmann Were Right: Slaves Had It Pretty Good!

Child rapist Michelle Bachmann and fecal lube Rick Santorum both signed The FAMiLY LEADER’s pledge opposing porn, abortion, divorce, sex with more than one person ever during your entire life, and supporting American slavery because after all, at least back then black kids had a greater likelihood of being raised in a two-parent household.

And you know what? Maybe they’re right!

At least Baratunde Thurston, cofounder of Jack & Jill Politics, sarcastically thinks so:

“Why stop at two-parent households? Let’s celebrate the free housing, healthcare and meal plan offered to every black slave! You know what else slavery did for black people? Exercise! Oh it was just great! We even got to work outside. Speaking of work, today, African-American unemployment is over 16 percent. In Milwauke, Wisc., over one-third of black men are unemployed. But during slavery times, every black man had a job! See? Things were better in the past, and now things are bad. Ah, the good old days…”

Bob Vander Plaat’s organization The FAMiLY LEADER has since removed the slavery mention from the pledge and Bachmann claims she didn’t read the slavery part (even though it was the first bullet point in the entire whopping four-page document… Presidential candidates can’t be bothered with nit-picky things like literacy). Meanwhile, “Santorum indicated that he had in fact read the document carefully“—there’s a good boy.

Of course, most of the serious GOP Presidential candidates wish it was 1690 again when America’s black families had goodhearted caretakers and the only problem were those pesky Native Americans squatting on our land!