John McCain released a new ad campaign today depicting the year 2013, four years into his potential, admittedly presumptuous presidency.
We have to tell you, the commercial plays a trailer for a utopian 24. The narrator sounds an awful lot like Dennis Haysbert, who played David Palmer, America’s first black president. Smart move, McCain! But, unfortunately for you, we’re not convinced.
We admit that the McCain-ruled 2013 definitely looks like a pretty great place: we’re growing more energy independent (with windmills!), the terrorist threat has been “reduced,” the Middle East has been Stabilized and everyone loves the economy. Oh, and Bin Laden’s dead.
So basically all is perfect. But, alas, there are some essential problems. First, we don’t believe it. We’ve included video from the press conference below to illustrate our point, but listening to John McCain, we couldn’t help but notice that he’s a little – what’s a polite word? “Creaky.” Not only do we have serious doubts about his longevity, but there’s a severe lack of conviction in his voice. Plus, it’s just weird to hear him talking about this alternate dimension.
Believability aside, there’s another nagging problem: McCain’s love of a good conservative judge. Remember his Sam Alito adoration? Well, it gets more girth in 2013. From the press release:
After four years of a McCain administration, new judges have been confirmed who understand they are not there to write laws, the border is secure and more Americans are called to serve. In 2013:
Scores of judges have been confirmed to the federal bench who understand they were sent there to enforce our laws and make sure they are consistent with the Constitution.
Border state governors have certified and the American people recognize that after tremendous improvements, our southern border is now secure. Illegal immigration is under control, and the American people accept the practical necessity to institute a temporary worker program and deal humanely with illegal immigrants.
Voluntary national service has grown in popularity. [Emphasis McCain’s.]
Really?! People are going to want to be in the army after this debacle? We know you’re prepared to fight for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which bans open gays from serving in the military, so under what rock are you going to find these new conscripts? More convicts and killers? Super. Can’t wait to see how that turns out. And besides, if the Middle East has been stabilized, why will we need a bigger army?
See why we’re not buying it, Mac?
Here’s the aforementioned press conference: