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Meet Nayyef Hrebid, the former translator for the Marines during the Iraq war. In a new interview with Vice, Hrebid and his husband Btoo Allami recall their time meeting and falling in love during the war, the struggle to keep their relationship secret amid “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and their eventual escape to marriage in the United States.
“I was born in Kuwait, but grew up in Iraq, where I first realized I was different in school,” Hrebid explained. I remember thinking about a guy at high school and feeling like I was doing something wrong and I had to be better. My family knew I was different too.”
As the United States invaded Iraq in 2003, Hrebid decided to enlist with the US Marines as a translator; he’d learned English from listening to American musicians such as Madonna and Britney Spears. The war and subsequent insurgency tested Hrebid’s coping skills; several run-ins with IUDs made him begin to reevaluate his priorities in life, and his underlying need to find love. Then, one day, love found him.
“I was working with the Marines training the new Iraqi army in Ramadi,” Hrebid recalled. “One day I was in the showers, and this soldier with the Iraq army stepped out with his hair so black, shining in the sun and I was like, oh, there is a handsome guy here! But this was the military; we weren’t allowed to come out, so I just kept looking at him and never said anything. I knew his name was Btoo, but I didn’t even know if he was gay or straight.”
“Not long after,” he continued, “we were put on a mission together to clear a hospital of terrorists. So that night, at the hospital, I finally had a chance to talk with Btoo. We sat down together in the dark and we started talking. I told him like ‘hey, I have a friend of mine who loves his friend.’ I started talking to him like that, because I wasn’t sure if he was gay. But he was accepting everything I said. He added his own stories and we sat like that for many nights talking about how I felt about my friends and how he felt about his friends. Finally, we looked at each other and we started kissing. That’s how I realized he was gay.”
Related: An Iraqi Soldier And A U.S. Soldier Found Wartime Love In Iraq
Nyyef and Btoo began meeting up in hotel rooms or wherever else they could for a little private time, and to comfort each other as the violence worsened. Accepting that either of them could die in the line of duty, they began to formulate a plan to emigrate to the United States where queer culture flourishes. Nyyef ended up getting asylum thanks to his work as a translator and moved to the US. He’d hoped Btoo could soon follow, but the US kept denying him entry. Finally, Canada granted Btoo asylum, and Nyyef journeyed there to meet him whenever possible. For two and a half years they maintained a long-distance, multi-national relationship. Then, with the coming of LGBTQ protections–including marriage equality–under the Obama Administration, the two decided to take a gamble.
“At that time, Obama legalized gay marriage so I said to Btoo, ‘let’s get married in Canada, and see if I could apply for you to come live with me in the United States’. So that’s exactly what we did. We got married on Valentine’s Day 2014. We then did the paperwork, and went for a visa interview and they told us ‘Congratulations, you’ve been issued a visa to go and live in the United States.’ Btoo and I were just quiet. I looked at this woman and said, ‘can you say that again?’ And she said ‘we can issue him a visa.'”
“We got out the door of the council offices and I did the highest, loudest scream of my life,” Nyyef said. “I screamed because it was so much waiting. I just always wanted to take care of him; I wanted to make sure that when he left everything in Iraq, I was here for him. Love is not just a feeling when you meet a person. Love is what you can do for that person.”
“We share our story to educate the new generation,” he concludes. “So many people just associate homosexuality with sex, but they forget about love. And for me and Btoo, our story shows everyone what we’ve been through, and what we’ve done for love.”
Well done, boys.
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dinard38
Note these are the kinds of stories I like to read about!!!!
Caliboy
Ha. So they met in the shower. Well, being naked is not a bad way to meet since you get to see the goods first.
nmharleyrider
That’s not just shallow but a bit jaded don’t ya think?
CityguyUSA
I’m not going to suggest that is the biggest problem with long-term gay relationships it’s not. It’s the biggest reason why they fail. Relationships require more than sexual infatuation and that’s a real problem if you want to find a more intimate and long-term situation.
If that’s not your cup of tea then spending time in tearooms should work well.
Cam
Great story!
Gadfeal
Nice story.
The only part that sounds “twisting the truth”:
1. Nyyfe learned English from Britney Spears and Madonna?
2. They “met” in the showers.
Btoo looks like a darker version of Lance Bass.
I wonder why Nyyef simply didn’t move to Canada where he could have married Btoo and become a Canadian resident? Perhaps a few winters up there led to that choice!
SFMike
Moving to Canada is not an easy road for Americans. Especially after you are 41 they do not want you unless you are wealthy and can prove it.
Gadfeal
Reply to SFMike’s reply. So, if a Canadian landed resident/citizen were to marry a foreigner, said foreigner would not be in some “streamlined” Canadian residency preference?
jakemn1
Hmmm…”several run-ins with IUDs made him begin to reevaluate his priorities in life”? I hope this should be IED, but then again I guess any run-ins with an IUD might be enough to re-evaluate.
Liquid Silver
I’ve heard they can be a bit prickly.
whereshouldistart
How does a gay man “run into” an IUD?
overlarry
Now THIS is a story!
“several run-ins with IUDs made him begin to reevaluate his priorities in life, and his underlying need to find love”
Wow!! Hrebid had ‘run-ins’ with Intra-Uterine-Devices??? How awful! I’d never want to have a run-in with an IUD!!
To be fair, I’d never want a run-in with an “IED” (improvised explosive device) either. C’mon Queerty!! Do you not have proof readers??? There’s a HUGE difference between an IUD and an IED!!
Kangol2
I don’t remember this story when it first ran but it’s wonderful. Best wishes to both of them!
whereshouldistart
With all that’s happening in the US they should have stayed here, in Canada.
Best wishes to the beautiful couple.
GayEGO
I was in the Navy when I met my other half and I just called him a roommate at the time. We were together 57 years, married in 2004 in Massachusetts. I like this story as we had to be careful back in the day. Fortunately, we came out to the public and were accepted!
man5996853
Your story sounds like it was a good one as well. 57 years is impressive and rare.
Mike Hunt
Hot!
dmhandy
Nyyeff and Btoo’s story of love is wonderful! The pain and suffering they endured to be together is absolute proof of their love. Sex is great but its not enough to build a loving relationship. Bless you both with a lifetime of happiness!