PARTY ANIMALS

Where To Meet Gay GOPers At The Republican National Convention

Looking for some sexy pillow talk about fiscal responsibility, the Second Amendment and drilling for oil in national parks? Well, look no further: we have the full list of Log Cabin Republican hangouts at the upcoming convention in Tampa.

Start the week off right at the LCR Welcome Reception at the Rusty Pelican on Sunday, August 26 at 5pm. Yelp assigns the Rusty Pelican three whole dollar signs, so you know it’s a classy joint for high-rollers. Go ahead an splurge—you’ve earned it by the sweat of your brow. (Either that, or you just built your empire by availing yourself of government aid, like Romney’s pal in New Hampshire.)

On Monday, the Log Cabin folks move over to Oystercatchers, which doesn’t sound at all suggestive. Another three-dollar-sign joint, its lobster macaroni and cheese actually sounds legitimately tasty. And it’s at a Hyatt, which is convenient if you want to slip off for a little tryst in a hotel room with a Craigslist trick like Republican Indiana legislator Phillip Hinkle.

How will they ever top the glamour of Oystercatchers? Why, at the Thursday “Celebrating Congressional Allies” event, of course. On the agenda is “meeting our allies,” which means “pro-equality Republicans.” Yes, they exist. Don’t forget, Florida is home to Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, the only Republican to sponsor the repeal of DOMA! So that’s a start.