Meredith Baxter first got busy with chicks in 1992, but that doesn’t mean she realized she was a lesbian then. So she married another man — one who didn’t beat her — in her third wedding. That, of course, didn’t last. Then a gal moved into her guesthouse, and, hmmmm, some “provocative” text messaging began. The rest, they say, is herstory.
clued in
Meredith Baxter Found Out She’s A Lesbian During A Hot Sexting Affair With A Tenant
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Scott Bonzitski
Why is it that most lesbians I know did not realize they were gay until later on in life? Also, most of them think that they “chose” to be so…? That is a big difference between men and women. [IMO] Why do [most] guys know from the beginning and women prefer to think it is a choice? Could it be past abuse with men? Ponderous…SB
Steve
Female sexuality in general is far more fluid than men’s. There is some evidence that it can actually change later in life, though not through any voluntary actions.
Anyways, with Baxter in particular, she said that she lacked any sort of self-reflection or introspection in her life. She also struggled with alcoholism for a long time, which probably complicated figuring out herself. She deliberately sought out men she clashed with so it could blame the failure of the relationship on them. When she figured out she was gay, things made sense to her in retrospect.
Spike
Good gawd lesbians are a confused bunch.
In my experience and opinion, while many of us boys may have followed societies ‘norms’ as it pertained to being str8t, we all knew from the first encounters with the masculine male form (PE teacher, Playgirl, older brothers friend, etc.) sometime during puberty, that we were into boys. Plain and simple.
missanthrope
Is there anything funnier than a bunch of gay guys pronouncing themselves to be experts on a woman’s sexuality or women in general?
jason
Scott,
I think it’s because female sexuality, in general, is fake. When social commentators compare male and female sexuality, they often neglect this point.
Female sexuality is largely geared towards achieving pregnancy. A woman, regardless of her sexual orientation, can submit to becoming pregnant to a man. All she has to do is lie back and allow the male to fertilize her. She does not need to be aroused and she does not have to actively deliver her ova to the perch. Biology does the latter for her in an automatic, monthly fashion.
On the other hand, a man’s sexual orientation is directly linked to his arousal which is directly linked to his ability to deliver his sperm to the perch. Biology therefore puts a much stricter standard on men in terms of the orientation-arousal-delivery paradigm.
In my view, women like Meredith may reflect this largely fake sexuality in women. It’s not a sexuality which has to abide by the strict standards that biology places on men.
Mary
It is pretty funny that the guys here think they know evertyhing about being a lesbian. I didn’t ever think my sexuality was a choice. I never had a relationship with a male; yet my brother, who is also gay, was married to a women for 13 year?!?!
Mary
Jason, are you really trying to say women are never ‘turned on’ by another person? Give me a break.
Mary
@jason: Jason, are you really trying to say women are never ‘turned on’ by another person? Give me a break.
jason
Mary,
I never said that women didn’t get turned on. My point is that female sexuality is not comparable to a man’s.
It is undeniable that women have the option to engage in a sex act without being turned on. It’s an option which is not available to men.
Emma
@Mary: Thank you!
justiceontherocks
@jason: Something tells me you weren’t as good with the ladies as you are with baseless generalizations
NCNC
I knew, even as I was clicking on the link to this story, that Jason would be here describing my desires as false and my life as inherently dishonest.
Such a burden being right all the time!
“I think it’s because female sexuality, in general, is fake.”
Yeah, that pretty much says women don’t get aroused, J-Man, denials to the contrary. Here’s a thought: STFU about it. Seriously. I won’t speculate about your honesty, you don’t speculate about mine. Deal?
Jeffree
@jason: In male-male sexuality, there are many acts that don’t require both partners to be aroused physically at the same time.
Just because women and men get aroused differently doesn’ t mean women’s sexuality is “fake.” Your hatred toward women is growing stronger by the day. Read a book. Get some help.
Scott Bonzitski
@jason: Sir Jason, you blow me AWAY! I did not think there were such “intelligent” people here who could “x’plain” themselves in such a fashion. Blog No. 4 · “missanthrope”, MUST be a female and does not understand a males point of view. [It] should post under ” MSANDROGYNOUS” in order to preserve “their” reputation/opinion. [IMO]…SB
NCNC
@Scott —
In regards to your question, there’s another factor that I don’t think gets much speculative attention. Women are socialized to look at and objectify other women from a very early age. You might have heard the term “implied male gaze” in a film class? Like that. The default view point tends to be masculine/cisgendered/heteronormative, and we internalize that just like everyone else. We’re also supposed to be constantly weighing ourselves against the “competition” as the dominant cultural narrative is that we’re all pitted against one another in the quest for male approval. That means we’re quite used to looking at other women as sexual objects, which can make it easier to hide from certain uncomfortable realizations.
missanthrope
Mary & Emma, Jason is the resident misogynist around here. To him, women to him are poor, oppressed and sexless abstractions that he must defend against sexism, while perpetuating sexism himself.
Oprah
Is she really gay/lesbian? I have a hard time believing it.I have watched her in a couple of television interviews, She comes off confused and disingenuous. Ya think she is exploiting this for the sake of getting attention?She admitted that the sole purpose of her coming out was to prevent the tabloids from outing her. Really? At age 63, like that is the worst thing that can happen to you? I smell an alterior motive: book sales–ka ching!
BostonGuy
So that show “Family” had TWO gay girls!
jason
NCNC,
That’s true. However, you neglect to mention that it is often other women who encourage women to look at women sexually. The sexualization of women in the women’s magazines is clear evidence of this.
I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: the aim of the sexual revolution was – and is – to make bisexuality socially acceptable for women but not for men. This double standard has the effect of making female-female sexuality bigger and male-male sexuality smaller.
It’s essentially de-stigmatizing female-female sexuality but keeping the stigma on male-male sexuality.
Be aware of it. The products of liberalism – eg the fashion industries, the music industries, the movie industries, the porn industries – are all a part of the mechanism that is enabling this double standard.
This is a big reason why I have grown to loathe liberalism.
Jeffree
@jason: it’s presumptuous for an asexual/uneducated and woman-hating male like you to pretend to know *anything* about women and their sexuality.
GeriHew
@jason: There are plenty of men who have fathered children through having sex with women who identify as gay and insist they’re not bisexual.
Personally I think they’re bisexual. I think Elton John is bisexual – he had sex with his ex-wife. I think Meredith Baxter is bisexual as well. I think a lot of gay and lesbian identified people are bisexual.But then I’m bisexual myself so my pov could be biased by that fact.
NCNC
Hey, Jason? News flash. We’re aware we’re being objectified and disenfranchised. Again with the STFUing, hmm? But thanks for the mansplaining!
Straightforward
No wonder everyone has such a negative view of homosexual men when there are rude pricks like you out their Jason. I am 100% straight and i know so many lesbians, it is not “fake”. I don’t know whether that was a poor choice of words on your behalf or your just a complete moron. Do you think your sexuality is any more important than anyone else’s? How selfish. Yet, I guess it’s a lot harder to stick your penis in an anushole and enjoy it , so hey maybe you do have it harder and maybe everyone should believe your view that being homosexual can only be justified by being a male. Grow a pair mate.