MEN IN BLACK

Michael Ian Black: “I Will Willingly Trade Drugs For Gay Sex”

Michael Ian Black is notoriously self-effacing, but we don’t ever know that he’s pushed a gay joke about himself this far.

In an interview with Esquire magazine about his new book, You’re Not Doing It Right, the comic jokes, “I am so comfortable in my sexual skin right now that if somebody wants to stick something up my ass, that’s fine.”

He qualifies, though, that he’d like a whiff of Poppers first.

“Just give me the drugs,” he says. “I’ll be fine. I guess what I’m saying is, I will willingly trade drugs for gay sex.”

MIB also displays a canonical knowledge of gay slang, and he thinks that gay men don’t lust for him anymore (totally false!). Here’s a snippet from the interview:

Esquire: You describe yourself in your book with the gay slang “chicken.” I had no idea what that was, so I Googled it.

What’d you find?

You sent me down a very dangerous path, sir.

Let me guess. Chicken led you to chicken hawk. And then where did you go? Did you get to butt plugs?

We really shouldn’t—

Did you get to trunk butt?

Trunk butt? Dear God, no, I didn’t get to trunk butt.

That’s when…

Please stop. Please, just no.

Am I sharing something that’s disturbing you?

Here’s a sentence from your book: “Women don’t seem to find me nearly as adorable as do fifty-year-old men in leather pants.” Why this specific age demographic?

I probably could have gotten thirty-year-old men in leather pants, too. There was a moment in my life when I was very attractive to gay men. But that moment has since passed. I don’t get the whistles anymore. I don’t know who wants to have sex with me these days.

We love a man who emasculates himself, Michael. We’d still do you!

Photos via Laura Landau, Michael Ian Black