Michael Jackson Guilty!

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You to know that an AIDS activist by the common, yet forever tainted name of Michael Jackson was found guilty of first-degree murder and aggravated criminal hijacking charges. Apparently he and the deceased, one Haroon Paryani, got into a row over an $8 cab fair.

According to Jackson’s lawyers, he feared for his life and, thus, got behind the wheel of the cab (we assume they were fighting on the street) and mowed the man down. Unfortunately, this doesn’t explain witness accounts that Jackson then ran over the man twice more. Must have been for good measure.

Before becoming a killer, Jackson spent his time working for Chicago’s Department of Health and raised money to help people with AIDS.

You may be wondering why this is of interest. Well, we’re not exactly sure, but we nabbed the story from The New York Blade wire. We suppose it was on there because of the man’s AIDS work. Because everything AIDS is gay, right?