GOP Death Watch

Michele Bachmann is Nutty. Which is Why She’s a Serious GOP Presidential Candidate.

Rep. Michele Bachmann, whose biggest nightmare is being trapped in the ladies’ room by renegade lesbians, formally announced that she’s running for the Republican presidential nomination. In any other universe, a candidate who has hidden in the bushes at a gay rights rally to see if people were talking about her, claims to have been personally directed by God to introduce antigay marriage legislation, and locked George W. Bush in a death grip until he kissed her would be laughed off the political stage. Needless to say, in our present-day Republican universe, she’s a serious contender.

“We can win in 2012 and we will,” Bachmann said at her kickoff event in Waterloo, Iowa. “Our voice has been growing louder and stronger. And it is made up of Americans from all walks of life like a three-legged stool. It’s the peace through strength Republicans, and I’m one of them, it’s fiscal conservatives, and I’m one of them, and it’s social conservatives, and I’m one of them. It’s the Tea Party movement and I’m one of them.” (We never knew that Americans were a three-legged stool. Although, when we counted them up, Bachmann mentioned four legs for that particular three-legged stool.)

Bachmann’s announcement came just a day after she spoke out of both sides of her mouth about marriage equality. In an interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, Bachmann said that “under the 10th amendment, the states have the right to set the laws that they want to set,” including laws allowing gay marriage. But Bachmann also said it’s “best” if the law was subjected to a popular vote. And she also said that she would push for a Constitutional amendment to prohibit marriage equality, to deal with that pesky Constitutional amendment that allowed it in the first place. (This is the same interview where Chris Wallace asked Bachmann, “Are you a flake?” Who says there’s no serious journalism at Fox?)

Oh, and just in keeping with Bachmann’s unrivalled reputation for gaffes, she produced another for her first official day as a candidate. As Queerty reported, she hailed Waterloo, her home town, for also being the home of John Wayne. Turns out, that’s only two-thirds of a three-legged stool true. Waterloo was the home of John Wayne Gacy, the serial murderer known as the Killer Clown who strangled to death 33 teenaged boys and young men. As the GOP presidential race reminds us, he wasn’t the only clown to come from Waterloo.

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore