Family gatherings are a tense time for Helen LaFave, the lesbian step-sister of raging homophobe Michele Bachmann. In a rare interview with The New York Times, LaFave described a cordial if not necessarily friendly relationship with Bachmann that became all the more strained once the Minnesotan Senator cum Representative began spewing vicious anti-gay rhetoric in her bid for political power.
Helen has been with her partner, Nia, for nearly 25 years and with the vote on same-sex marriage on the ballot in Minnesota this November, the two could finally be able to tie the knot. Bachmann, for her part, has made the journey to this point incredibly difficult with a proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage – which LaFave called her “very, very sad legacy”:
“It felt so divorced from having known me, from having known somebody who’s gay,” said Helen, a soft-spoken woman with a gentle air. “I was just stunned.”
And while she never doubted that Michele was being true to her private convictions, she couldn’t comprehend Michele’s need to make those convictions so public, to put them in the foreground of her political career, and to drive a wedge into their family.
She told Michele as much, in a letter dated Nov. 23, 2003. She sent copies to her four siblings, her father and one of Michele’s brothers, and kept one herself. In the letter she described her “hurt and disappointment that my stepsister is leading this charge.”
“You’ve taken aim at me,” Helen wrote to Michele. Referring to Nia, she added: “You’ve taken aim at my family.”
Michele, she said, never acknowledged the letter in any way.
Helen also recalled her decision to attend a 2006 State Senate hearing with Nia where Bachmann spoke about her beloved constitutional amendment:
“I wasn’t looking to make a public statement,” she told me. “I just thought: I’m going to go there and sit there so she has to look at me. So she has to look at Nia. I wanted her to see: this is who you’re doing this to. It’s not some anonymous group of people. It’s not scary people. It’s me. It’s Nia.” She paused, because she’d begun to sob.
“I just wanted her to see me,” she said, “because it just feels, through the whole thing, like she hasn’t.”
While Helen hopes to marry Nia in Minnesota someday, she doesn’t think inviting Michele would be a “very good fit.” We can’t blame her – just imagine how awful that toast would be.
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lsanderson
That’s Michele — One “L” short of a full load — Bachmann — With an extra “N” for extra nuttingess.
Lester Brathwaite
Sorry, thought there was an extra “L” for “lunatic.”
ArthurMN
Actually, no she won’t be able to marry pending the vote this November. Minnesota currently has a state level DOMA and the vote doesn’t remove it. The question is whether the discriminatory language should be added to the state Constitution. It’s not yet about marriage equality, but a successful amendment will make it harder before it does occur.
Cam
Somebody that virulently anti-gay when they have gay siblings is usually because they themselves are a self hating closet case.
It would explain why Bachman married such an obviously gay man.
LaTeesha
I would like to know how the rest of LaFave’s family even speaks to Michele. Michele is her step-sister, not a blood relative. It sounds like LaFave’s dad is married to Michele’s mother. How can LaFave’s dad even sit in the same room as Michele? Parenting – he’s doing it wrong. I cast more shame on him and her blood siblings than I do Michele. Disgusting.
hyhybt
@ArthurMN: True… but if the amendment fails, that would be a strong suggestion to the next amenable legislature to change the law.
2eo
Michele Bachmann is a life failure, with a loveless marriage and a family and extended family who hates her, she will die alone.
Deservedly so, may her ilk suffer for their hate and transgressions, and forcing their beliefs down the throats of good, honest and moral people.
hyhybt
@2eo: I misread your post as “Michelle Obama” and came back to ask what you were on… then saw it right 🙂
Cam
@Lester Brathwaite:
(Snicker) Nice!
dvlaries
There. You think you’ve got it tough? You could have Bachmann for a relative.
Guillermo3
@Cam: Yes,Cam! Marrying Michele
was a successful manouver in Marcus” straight to gay
conversion therapy !
Guillermo3
@LaTeesha: LaTeesha,I guess this makes
Helen and Nia,to use Michele’s words, 2 more “Slaves of Satan”.
LadyL
@dvlaries: LOL! (ouch!)
Aidan8
Oh Michele, you silly silly twat. What are we going to do with you?
Guillermo3
@Aidan8: Hi Aidan8 !Why would
“we” want to do anything with Michelle? Other than,maybe,see
her boiled in oil.
Aidan8
@Guillermo3: lol I could just see Marcus clapping his hands, super fey, saying “oooooooooooohh…… fondue! Someone pour me a Galliano on the rocks!”
Guillermo3
@Aidan8: You BAD,Aidan8 !! I love it.
lsanderson
@Lester Brathwaite: It’s fitting that the loon is our state bird, but why we send one to Washington is beyond me.
Bob LaBlah
I always felt something was eating her to the CORE when it came to gays and now I know what it is. I sure wish a picture went with this article comparing what a dog (in terms of looks) Michele is compared to her half-sister. This woman, Bachman, DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SHE SMILES BEFORE, DURING NOR AFTER SEX.
Adios, you frustrated, self rightous heffer.