AUTO EROTIC

Michigan Man Arrested Sucking On Sex Toy In His Car

Screen Shot 2013-02-17 at 1.32.43 AMOn Monday morning, police in Michigan responded to a 911 call that a man was sitting in his car sucking on a dildo.

The Smoking Gun posted an arrest report for an unnamed suspect, who was found parked in Elizabeth Park in Trenton, Michigan, with a flesh-colored dildo on his passenger seat of his 2010 Ford Fusion.

When the officer asked the driver, 67, what he was doing, the man said “Sucking on a dildo, I’m sorry.” (Notice how the cop felt it necessary to write that in all caps.)

The suspect, who “admitted to having a problem with sex toys,” was arrested for disorderly contact, a misdemeanor.

And before you ask, no, it wasn’t George Michael.

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9 Comments

  • Fidelio

    big fucking deal. it’s not like dildos are a gateway toy.

  • jwrappaport

    It’s disorderly conduct, not contact.

    Nitpicks aside, what a joke. Do these cops have nothing better to do than arrest people for non-violent, Mickey Mouse crimes when a warning would have sufficed? Is Michigan really made safer by humiliating this poor old man by arresting him and haling him into open court?

  • sweetbrandigirl2004

    Is it really against the law to sit in your own car and suck on a sex toy ? seems like there be some kind of constitutional law to protect ones rights here.

  • Aidan8

    OK. So some old dude sucks on a dildo in his car. How is this “news” for a queer site? Why are we reading about it? Do we have nothing better, nothing of greater import, to speak of?

  • Dawster

    Are you all going to justify this? This is awful. And I say that as a person who, just this week (and this is true), had to interrupt a taxi driver playing with himself in order to get a ride home.

    Yes, kink is fun. And no, this man shouldn’t have been arrested. At most his dildo should have been taken away and returned to him at the end of class (and it couldn’t have been that big as I have a feeling this particular police officer would have noted it).

    AND (worse) I’m going to spend the evening searching the interwebs fr a straight man who has been arrested for licking a pocket-pussy in his car so I can get rid of this “control thyself” mentality this “news” has put me in…

  • InscrutableTed

    > (Notice how the cop felt it necessary to write that in all caps.)

    That’s probably a standard police convention for distinguishing directly quoted speech from indirectly quoted speech.

  • Mofdgheb

    Queerty does have a tendency to treat all genital-related news as relevant news.

  • Bill

    OK. You can make fun of the cops or feel sorry for the fetishist but I live too near to this park to be so flippant about it. Sure it sounds like a funny story but try explaining to your 5 year old what this freak is doing in the park. Sure sex toys can be fun when used properly but using them in public is just plain wrong, regardless of your sexual preference.

  • jwrappaport

    @Bill: Eh, that sounds an awful lot like a Helen Lovejoy argument (i.e., “Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?!”)

    If I had a five-year-old, I would explain the instance like so: “Some adults enjoy playing like he does.” Simple as that. I mean, it’s not as though the guy was exposing himself or preying on young children. There are many deep, complicated moral dilemmas I would be nervous to broach with my kids when they’re young (e.g., the existence of god, who their mommy is, etc.), but this really isn’t one of them.

    @Mofdgheb:@Aidan8: This is gay news because it potentially involves the abuse of police discretion against a gay citizen. All the facts are clearly not before us, but I given the history of homophobia in law enforcement, it’s not unreasonable to suspect unequal treatment. It’s certainly not proven, but neither is it unreasonable.

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