Okay, barring some monumental news, this will be the last Ted Haggard-related post of the day. We thought you guys may be interesting in Jack E. Jett‘s interview with Mike Jones, the little hooker that could (and did) bring down one of America’s top Evangelical leaders. You may remember Jett from his contribution to The Totally Frightful Issue. It’s worth noting that Jack offered us an insultingly short version of the aforementioned interview. It seems, however, that he prefers the wannabe-homos over at Radar. (Whatever, he’s probably just trying to get into Jeff Bercovici‘s pants. Slut.)
Anyway, it’s an “eye-opening” interview in which we learn that Haggie’s a bottom (as if we couldn’t figure it out), enjoys a nice muscle boy with a big cock (we know) and isn’t one for small talk (What? He’s made an entire career out of mindless chatter!):
JJ: Was Reverend Haggard kinky in bed?
MJ: I’m not going to comment too much on kinkiness, but I can say that he certainly did enjoy having sex with me.
JJ: Would you call him vanilla?
MJ: Well, for the most part, I would use the term vanilla. But I guess every once in a while you could throw some chocolate in.
JJ: Did he ever kiss you or act affectionately, or did he restrict his visits to sex?
MJ: No, we kissed.
JJ: That’s very sweet.
MJ: [LAUGHS] Well, I aim to please.
JJ: Did his personality change after you had sex?
MJ: I think sometimes there was some guilt, and he would get very quiet. Usually he’d just throw his clothes on and leave.
He was probably too busy thinking about how his soul would burn forever to make niceties. You gotta admit, it’s a pretty distracting concept.
Also, kudos to Jones for not delving into the kinky aspects of the sordid affair. Great restraint, kiddo! Obviously sex worker “Nicholas” was way off base when he derided you for betraying your client.