Miss S.C. Explains It All

Miss South Carolina may have become the world’s laughing stock at last Friday’s Miss Teen USA, but the angels over at Today gave her a chance to redeem herself…today.

Chalking the gaffe up to nerves, the teen more legally known as Lauren Caitlin Upton insisted, Everything did come at me at once. I was overwhelmed and I made a mistake. Everybody makes a mistake. I’m human.” What?!? Beauty contestants are – gasp! – human? Oh, dear God, why? Why? Why

PS: Ms. SC also wants us to know she can find the United States on a map. It’s right next to Canadia. Also, her principal attests to her education.

Also, she gives great head! [Ed. note: After much soul searching – and finding! – we decided to edit out that blowjob jab. We’re sure Upton earned her principal’s respect with good old fashioned brain(s).]