“Threesomes aren’t anything new,” Dr. Ryan Scoats says. “There are references to group sex in Roman art and literature. But while threesomes may have happened in the past, they are definitely becoming more common in contemporary society.”
That’s why he’s dedicated his career to studying them. Scoats is a sociologist from Birmingham City University and is the first person in the world to get his PhD in threesomes.
Scoats writes:
My research has found that many young men now find MMF threesomes to be as normal, or even more normal, than FFM threesomes. This is partly because it can be more difficult to find partners for an FFM than an MMF threesome. About one quarter of the participants in my studies said they viewed MMFs as the norm for a threesome and about three quarters of participants were open to them.
Related: More and more straight dudes are engaging in ménage à trois to help strengthen their bromances
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Why the sudden spike in MMF threesomes?
Well, Scoats says, a lot of it has to do with the growing acceptance of LGBTQ people.
“As sex between people of the same sex loses its stigma, a greater array of behaviors, including threesomes, become acceptable,” he explains.
Also, younger men are becoming more secure in their sexualities.
“A lot of the younger people we spoke to don’t see their sexual identity as limiting what they do,” Scoats says. “That’s why they can have threesomes involving members of the same sex and still consider themselves straight.”
He continues, “Having sex in the presence of another man or woman and even doing sexual things with other men or women can now be part of a heterosexual identity.”
This also explains the rise in things like “bro-jobs” in “dude sex” over the past year or two.
Related: Straight guys confess their same-sex sexual encounters in candid new study
“There are so many misconceptions around threesomes in the media and in the public imagination,” Scoats says. “A lot of people probably see threesomes as a very hedonistic act– happening spontaneously with almost uncontrollable passion.”
But that’s not necessarily the case.
Scoats hopes that by continuing to study and discuss threesomes in an academic setting those misconceptions will eventually dissipate.
Heywood Jablowme
The headline is the exact opposite of what the researcher actually wrote:
“it can be more difficult to find partners for an FFM than an MMF threesome.”
That’s the obvious “duh” reason and one doesn’t need a “Ph.D. in threesomes” to figure that out!
RIGay
Before I came out, I was engaged to be married. I had ALMOST convinced my fiancee to have a three-way with her, me and my best friend at the time. I had a couple 3-way, Bi-porn videos that I tried to push off as “This will be good for US! Really!”
It is NOT hard, you just have to be willing to cultivate those relationships.
No. Honey, soon as I opened that closet door, there was no turning back. Going on 40 years now, would never even CONSIDER sex with a woman, ever again.
Mick406
It took me a long time but I finally convinced my wife that we should do this. A young, well-hung stud lived next door and he spent a lot of time at our house. One night, it just happened. It was sort of spontaneous. He hugged her and she hugged him back. A little laughter, and then he tried to kiss her and I was stunned when she accepted. It was all ‘go’ after this! She had never had such a huge penis inside her and for some reason, it thrilled me too. He sent her to the moon in ecstasy!!! While he was having his way with her (and through the moans!), he was giving me a hand-job. I have NEVER experienced such thrills in my life! After that, it became an at least once a week thing for about 3 years. Just fabulous. It ended when he got married and moved away. It’s been dull ever since.
Jaxton
Women have much lower overall sex drives than men at the natural level. It’s hard enough for a man to find one woman who will consent to sex, let alone two at the same time.
If a man has two women at the same time, it’s usually prostitutes who have been paid for their services.
This is one big reason why men in heterosexual culture envy men in homosexual culture. Heterosexual sex generally requires that the man reward the woman before she will consent. Homosexual sex between men is a case of “I’m hot, you’re hot…let’s fu@k”.
Aires the Ram
I had to re-read this a couple of times to try to understand why something about it was bothering me. I’m a gay man who has been “out” for 40 years. The undertone of this article, this “phenomenon”, if you will, is that young guys now are opening up about their attraction to their buddies, and man-sex in general (which I applaud), but it seems that the label of “straight” or “heterosexual” survives no matter who they are fu*&king, but the labels of “gay” or “bi-sexual” seem to be thrown in the scrap heap. This reeks of certain Middle Eastern leaders who say “we don’t have any homosexuals in _____.” It’s good that young men are losing their homophobia, I’m glad, but this just sticks in my craw.
Luna1979
I read the same thing: if you just call yourself straight, anything is permissible. That’s not being more open about your sexuality; it’s lying to yourself.
Paco
That would be nice if they were actually losing their homophobia, but I doubt it. They still identify as heterosexual and I doubt they make it public knowledge that they do anything sexual with other guys. I’m also pretty sure they still make anti-gay remarks with their buddies and also vote accordingly.
They want to take a dip in our pool but take a big dump in it upon leaving back to the safety of their hetero lives leaving the rest of us with the mess.
BobbyDgenx
As a straight guy I read this differently. Guys don’t question their own sexuality when they aren’t turned off with another man naked around them, their friends don’t question their sexuality or make fun of them if they talk about same room se with another male. I am in my mid 30s and have no interest in sex with a man, but I’m not turned off in a group situation where 2 guys get involved, I’m just going to stick to the girl in the group. I can’t say I was that evolved in my early 20s. “no crossing swords” was the common statement when 2 guys on a girl, and only bi guys would go for double v, attempts. You can be comfortable as identifying as straight in these scenarios. That said really it shouldn’t matter what I identify as, or what you identify as, if I say I’m not into x it should be respected same as if you say you’re not into y. But I’ve digressed I didn’t interpret this article with the same undertones you did.
bburkh
I share that concern, but I feel like this is progress nonetheless. Guys who identify as straight feeling comfortable in sexual situations with other guys present seems like progress to me, even if they fear a backlash from the broader culture and don’t want to publicly identify themselves in a potentially compromising way. The next step is for these guys to drop that discomfort and make that acknowledgement.
Fwiw, I’m a gay man in my early thirties, and an ex who’s a few years younger than me has had a 3-way more than once with a straight guy friend and a girl. The straight guy doesn’t mind anyone knowing that he was involved in sex even with a bit guy who usually identifies as gay. I’ve heard of similar situations from other friends, so I think the culture really is shifting in a positive direction even if it’s not there yet.
Knight
There’s a very simply psychological fact behind this: woman bring DRAMA. As someone who mows on both sides of the fence, I can say yeah, guys definitely can bring their own brand of drama…but NOTHING like female drama…NOTHING. Whereas two guys can literally f*** each other when they hate each other, women have very different concepts and cycles when it comes to sex and intimacy. So, of course it is common in many cultures for a man to have one wife, but if you’ll notice, it’s not an “MFF” relationship in the sense that it is strictly one woman per night (and of course there is a constant bickering/back-stabbing over who gets which night(s) /more perceived attention etc). A MMF relationship by its very nature to run counter-intuitive to society presupposes an acceptance and “relaxed” attitude overall. Meaning, if a woman can get past sharing her partner with another man, she can get past a lot of things that the average woman cannot.
Kenney G
Those Bisexuals love their Threesomes. I knew one for years who called himself straight, After years and years of giving me and my friends a hard time about being gay, Some guy had some pictures of a man having sex with a woman and they told him it was me, But it wasn’t me I don’t take nude pictures and I sure as hell didn’t take any picture with some woman. Well one night after a long day at work we were at a co workers house drinking beer and everyone was starting to leave he told me If I showed him my dick he’d show me his, first of all I didn’t trust this guy, but he kept after me to let him see it, he was turned on, Yes Mine was bigger but he didn’t not turn me on whatsoever. A few days later he ask me to do a 69, he wanted to go down on me so I let him. Then he started talking about trying to talk his wife into having a threesome, Hell No, I don’t play that and I never did. To this day he still want to have sex with me but I put him off I have a boyfriend I’m not some guys side piece
Stephen
I have a straight friend that wanted a MMF before he got married. So I set him up with a bisexual man and a woman. At the last minute the bi guy had overtime work. I called friend to cancel, he said, “I don’t want to cancel. Jump in waters fine. Just wanted to do something out of the norm before married. You, me and Sophie? Sounds great.”
He is not even bi. He has no thought, no bias or experience. We drank a bottle of wine, laughed. Sophie did a striptease and challenged me. Friend joined in before my shorts came off. He liked all of it, and I had to go really slowing as his rear was new! It was wild. He said he never thought guys could be that different. 5” vs 9”. Sore the next day. A little hung over. We went from the two of us sleeping over to breakfast. Talked, laughed, eat and had a really good time! He was curious to do it again with a ‘smaller’ guy then me. And yes, with Sophie. It was MMFMF. Five some.. He was thrilled with two women and we all shared in tactile erotic fun. As a gay man I was thrilled. Better coitus the I had ever expected. The click with the guy that was new. We went into intense 1 hour zoning out. Friend was zoning out on 2 women! Blew my mind. He got married. I was 9 months with the 3rd guy. Beautiful time? He had to go for huge promotion across to the other side of country. Best fun ever. No labels, no problems, no regrets, taught me to go with the flow. Love my inner bisexual. First time! I would gladly do it all again. No changes. 70/30 gay/bi. Sexuality is fluid. What I see here is a TON of judgement. If I can stay friends with a great friend after tipping him in front of a woman, and then watching him top the 3rd guy next time we organized an event, well let’s say we have a great friendship without judgment. He is monogamous and we talk about our two play dates once or twice a year hiking, bowling, drinking out on guys night. Lighten up. Labels kill your ultimate experience to be very excited by new human s3xual combinations of pleasures!
enlightenone
“Lighten up?” You have the freedom to be a messy hoe! It’s not about us.
alfred
I hate to shatter you old queen’s fantasies, but this isnt a ‘bi’ threesome being discussed. It is two men having sex with a lady, not each other! So guys who watch gangbang porn are closet bisexuals? lmao. Get out more.
Knight
As a bisexual myself, I will say I could never understand the concept of gangbang porn, or the thought of putting my d*** anywhere some other guy I don’t know/am remotely interested in has just “been”. One of the reasons I have never done a 3-way with any of MY girlfriends is because I’m extremely jealous and protective. I totally wouldn’t mind it if she got finger-b**** or muff-dived by another chick, but I seriously wouldn’t dig the thought of another guy being inside my girfriend (with or without me around). So yeah…my guess is guys who watch gang-bang porn are bisexual…and not in a good way.
He BGB
Three’s a crowd and somebody always gets left out in a Threeway.
jd.cali
Receipts please.
Assessments without factual figures (statistics) is not science. In other words- this reads as gossip.
Receipts please.
DCguy
This article is actually trying to lie and create facts that don’t exist. Claiming that there is a huge “Spike” in MMF threesomes.
Maybe the spike is because the name has changed, they used to call that a gang bang, but I guess, putting a nice title on it, they can now pretend it’s something so refined and modern.
This has nothing to do with straight guys opening up about possible bi attraction, this usually is because at a party two guys have either found some girl willing to sleep with both of them and they’re so horny they don’t care whose in the room, or very often it is a situation where the girl is so drunk that she can’t consent.
But don’t let me stand in the way of Queerty’s latest attempt to try to write some other article about Straight guys.
Kenney G
Queerty is sick as Hell straight men don’t want to have sex with other men, just a bunch of Bisexuals,that’s there MO threesomes