A 22-year-old straight man hooked up with a Latino Ryan Gosling lookalike — and now it’s the talk of the town.
But that’s because he was on Molly, and he swears, swears, swears he isn’t gay.
Still, word about the hookup spread fast and now everybody’s talking and praising him for coming out. But he’s not even gay. At all. It was a one-off. A lark.
Related: Help! I’m a kind, gentle, open-minded straight guy, but my girlfriend’s a total homophobe
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Sure, he liked the closeness of it all, and he wouldn’t deny that the blowjob felt good, but he didn’t “really enjoy it WITH HIM necessarily.”
He doesn’t want to brag, but he admits he was something of a “stud” in high school; “the type of guy who spent his entire life trying to get chicks.” And the other guy “was renowned for being ridiculously hot.”
So “the idea of me and him banging is like a golden trophy of gossip for girls, this is going to be BIG for months on end.”
Such is the plight of a young Redditor who goes by the name julio55, who’s now reaching out to the community for any inkling of advice they might be willing to throw him.
He sums up the situation economically by explaining “did molly, banged a dude, friend saw, spread the rumors to absolutely everyone, everyone thinks I’m gay, but I’m actually straight and the banging of the dude was experimental.” It’s an elevator pitch we’d be eager to listen to.
Related: More and more straight guys are giving up “bro jobs” and engaging in “dude sex”
And you can rest assured that the people have been all-too eager to impart their words of wisdom on the confused young man.
“First off, don’t freak out when it’s brought up and don’t deny it,” says apathyontheeast. “Laugh it off, say something like, ‘Man, I was really high, but at least I’m sure now I’m into chicks!'”
But HelpmeRL thinks that’s wretched advice. “It’s a stupid coping mechanism” that “won’t be believed by most people.”
After all, he says, “why would you end up sleeping naked on the floor with a dude just to make sure you really don’t like anything about guys?”
HelpmeRL thinks he should just say he was swept up by the situation “and that it was totally fine but not something you would do again any time soon.”
“If you’re that hot,” says maidrey, “go on Tinder. and use that for your dating/hookup/whatever purposes for the current moment. Eventually your friends will catch on.”
yourbrotherrex claims that only time will make the chatter die down:
That whole ‘Man, I was really high, but at least now I know I’m into chicks!’ dialogue may look good on paper, but if you say it IRL, it will not work, lol.
That’s just going to give them more ammunition, TBH.
Just don’t bring it up, any more, ever again, if your goal is to someday not have to hear about it anymore, OP.
“‘Hairier muscular Latino Ryan Gosling?’ I wish I had advice,” WovenRoses22 says. “But I’m just plain jealous.”
Says Jamothy: “If a man builds 1,000 bridges and sucks one dick, they don’t call him a bridge-builder. They call him a cocksucker.”
“Trying to convince people you are straight and nothing but straight at this point is just going to make people think you’re in denial,” 0sricStark claims.
“Just say this experience was experimentation and it doesn’t represent your sexuality overall.”
Short of hooking up with this mysterious latino Ryan Gosling as often as he can, what advice would you offer this confused young man?
Image culled from GuysCuddling.
TomChicago
My advice would be to open your eyes and realize what the event has taught you. It may just be the case that all the quacking you’ve been doing about your sexuality is a clue to examine more than the tip of the iceberg.
MaxTaste
There is more fantasy and fiction on reddit than at a Disney theme park.
Chris
Tom, according to this post, that’s not an iceberg whose tip was being examined.
captainburrito
Is that a real pic or a stock pic? Cos i’m not seeing no Ryan Gosling.
Jbaltes
One blow job does not a gay man make! Sexuality is a spectrum…get over It!
frankcar1965
Your actions may be bisexual but you are really just gay, get over it. Your “spectrum” may be bisexual too but you are still gay. And please, let those of us who may come into contact with you for romantic reasons, know that you are in a bisexual “spectrum” so we can make an informed choice of whether we want to continue with it. Some of us do not want to get into a relationship with someone who is in a sexual “spectrum”.
davey14
He doesn’t mention if the guy he hooked up with is gay. If he had sex with a guy he knew was gay, that’s a different story. Are all his friends talking about the other guy too?
AtlasRich
Dude at 22 all guys are horny and jerking with their buds, maybe each other, maybe more! Most guys have done SOMETHING with another dude and people will eventually forget about it. Being gay is an identity so if you don’t identify as Gay, then you are not. There is also nothing wrong with being Bi and a lot of people are. Just be yourself.
Terrycloth
He isn’t gay but I bet he sure is glad his boyfriend is….
frankcar1965
You make big assumption that most 22 yr olds are jerking with their buds maybe 12 yr olds but not 22, give me a break. And gay is gay not part gay, sometimes gay, gay on MWF. People only act this stupid fluid thing, if they really are at all, it is just the new fad du jour.
sanfranderek
The first time I did MDMA it made me bring up a lot of repressed thoughts to my partner I normally wouldn’t have on my own, in that regard it can be extremely therapeutic. This guy I assume is not entirely straight but spend a lifetime hiding those desires and convincing himself otherwise, and MDMA simply allowed him to be his authentic self for a moment.
scotshot
“I was lit, I hooked up with the guy, and now it’s done. Let’s change the subject.
Best advice though, don’t let anyone see if it bothers you.
Finally, see you at the club this weekend./
Transiteer
Say nothing, avoid getting into a conversation. A short amount of time and this will be forgotten or mostly forgotten. Don’t hemorrhage over it. It’ll self-correct. No ones attention span is long enough to worry about this.
Herman75
My advice is to own it. You sucked mysterious latino Ryan Gosling’s penis.
jesusbangedmybootie
Why is the “town” talking about this? This sounds like it is written to excite girls into guys hooking up and the gays on their never ending quest to bang a “straight” guy.
Some of the comments, for example: “like Sure, he liked the closeness of it all, and he wouldn’t deny that the blowjob felt good, but he didn’t “really enjoy it WITH HIM necessarily.”
Who is the “journalist” quoting? Why are you reporting a second hand account when you seem to have a first hand one to quote? This is so badly written and insulting to where we are as a culture to not see that the gossiping of a guy messing around once or trying out something immediately makes saying rumors about him as being ok. You are basically saying that a guy can’t experiment and rather than making it something that he has to defend. Which then makes hium look like there is an action to defend.
The take away should be
A)Random people making posts in a subreddit are not articles that this site (or any site) should feel are the main source for an article.
B)The person going around telling “everyone” that the friend is gay should be called out as being a horrible friend and alerted that THEY are the one that is wanting drama and their actions aren’t even their business, and continuing to tell others show that person needs to be dropped from all the social circles that the lies are told.
C)Straight guys or whatever label you want to give them sometimes try messing with a guy the same as guys experiment with a girl sometimes on their journey of sexual discovery. The addition of “Molly” (is that term still being used?) makes it totally understandable. If you don’t think so, you just haven’t had that experience. I have had a few times where I have hooked up with someone that a sober me would not have been into for a second. I haven’t done something with a girl, but I usually didn’t go to events with any girls in my group.
Guys are becoming more comfortable with trying it out. I have a friend that he and i have gone at it hard twice and I really don’t think he’s that into guys. We just happened to be hanging out and did it. Most guys don’t have the same attachment as girls have to sex (I know there are exceptions, if you were about to be that annoying gay guy to boast that you have feelings or blah blah blah.)
This is the kind of high school behavior that causes gays to be complicit with a message that the guy needs to explain anything. The only explanation needed is why Derek DeKoff, who wrote this sad excuse for a blog post is allowed to submit things like this and presumably getting paid? This is really poor quality and maybe should comment on why he felt this is beneficial to the readership of Queerty.
David Myers
The Molly made me do it! Honest! I’m not gay! Am I? Now where did I put his phone number?
dubstepskater94
One word… DENIAL!!! Listen, I get hit on by girls a lot… and I’ve done Molly a couple times BUT I didn’t have sex with them… He can blame it on drugs, weather, whatever… but BOY is GAY!!! I would say it was “experimenting” but he seems to be making TOO big of a deal out of it… Why waste so much time trying to “convince” everybody that you are straight… why not just spend that time living your life? Everybody gets so hung up on who they sleep with and stuff… It ain’t anybody’s bizz…. But I will give him props though… A Latin Ryan Gosling sounds hot!!! I say, roll with it (get it… lol) and go back for SECONDS!!!
Kathukid
Best word of advice. Don’t give a shit what other people think.
Brian
I’m waiting for Dustin Lance Black to weigh in before I form an opinion.
Captain Obvious
Reddit fan fiction.
QGridster64
I think many, many people have had hookups where the next day one or both (or All) of the parties think “why/how did that even happen?”
But see, here’s the thing: we’re all humans and that means that we’re driven by a very complex combination of wants, needs, desires, emotions, etc. – and why a person does one thing, one time is almost impossible to define.
So in your WTF hookup, you banged a dude. You’ll probably have another in your lifetime. It might be a fat chick, or an ugly one, or your best friend’s ex – OR it might be a dude that fills a pair of jeans perfectly, and looks just as nice without them.
Either way, no one or two events in your life define who you are. That’s for you alone to figure out. Myself, I’m not a T&A guy, I’m an absolutely not-confused D&A guy. But, before I understood that, I’d had some very nice relations with women. The very first time, however, that I rode the D (and endorphins nearly blew the top of my skull off) I knew that I was home. The place I was supposed to be.
In time, we all come to know who we are; what we do with that knowledge is a whole different story. Good luck.