Mom, Lesbian Reflect On Coming Out

Gay people must make many tough decisions when coming out, not least of all what to tell their parents. For years a British lesbian named Sarah lied about her sexuality, even marrying a man to keep her parents happy. Living a lie became too much, however, and Sarah finally broke down the closet door. Unfortunately for Sarah, her parents haven’t embraced her lesbianism. Today’s Daily Mail features Sarah and her mother’s respective perspectives on the lady lover’s coming out process. Not surprisingly, they’ve got opposing opinions on the matter.

Despite her trepidation of her daughter’s sexuality, Sarah’s mother’s done her best to cope with her queerness. Behind closed doors, of course, because, you know, faggotry isn’t dinner table conversation:

I do tell people that Sarah is gay – and they only have to see her to guess. But it’s not something I bring up with every stranger because it’s a conversation stopper.

For example, it makes polite conversation at a dinner party difficult. When I tell people that my other daughter Heather is married, people can ask about whether she has children and how old they are.

But once you’ve told someone your daughter is gay, you can see them flailing around, desperately searching for the right words.

Sarah’s certainly not oblivious to her mother’s silent condemnation, but she’s not about to revert back to her “heterosexual” ways:

I think Mum felt I had my hair cut short because I was trying to shock her, but I was just doing what felt comfortable for me. I never deliberately tried to be rebellious. Instead, I kept myself to myself and tried very hard to be straight and had lots of boyfriends.

It’s only recently I have truly accepted myself as gay. Mum and Dad are just going to have to accept it too.

Good for you, Sarah. As for mummy – well, she’ll either accept it or suck it. As for you readers, we highly recommend this article. It’s rare a newspaper carries such a personal first-hand account of coming out.