dear abby

A mom wonders: my preteen son in so close to his bestie…are they gay?

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A concerned mother has appealed to famed advice columnist Dear Abby with an overwhelming anxiety: if her son and his best friend drift closer and closer physically, does that mean they’re gay?

“My preteen son is friends with a boy I don’t quite approve of, but I understand that sometimes bad decisions lead to future wisdom,” the woman, identified as “Wondering on the Farm” writes. “When I can, I allow the friend to come to our house to hang out with my son because this friend allegedly has a difficult home life.”

“During this last visit, I noticed them hanging out a little physically closer than usual,” she continues. “They shared the same recliner to play video games, talked to each other using gamer tags and the like, and had what I assume were numerous inside jokes.”

Related: Does Dear Abby think bisexual men are infested with STDs?

“My husband and I would never belittle, degrade or denounce our children for being gay,” Wondering asserts. “We know we’re from a bygone era, and we do not assume our particular values are held by our children. We have discussed it and know how to approach it from our perspective if our son announces his orientation. I’m not even certain my perception of his closeness with his friend is accurate.”

“Neither of us wants to address this ahead of anything occurring,” Wondering concludes. “We will love our son regardless and support him throughout our lives. I don’t want to make him feel singled out by what may be usual pubescent behavior. My husband and I are in our 30s/40s. We live in an extremely rural area, and this is my son’s only real friend. Any insight would be appreciated.”

The ever level-headed Dear Abby, true to form, advises the fretting woman to calm down.

“You may be jumping to conclusions unnecessarily,” Abby observes. “Sitting close to play video games and sharing inside jokes with a best friend are not necessarily signs of being gay. It is what best friends that age do. Whatever your boy’s sexual orientation may be, you say you will love and support him regardless, so this shouldn’t be a problem.”

“His sexual orientation will reveal itself in its own time,” Abby further soothes.

Dear Abby has a long history of advising concerned readers on LGBTQ issues. Last year, she advised a worried grandmother how to best raise her transgender grandchild. In 2017, she nabbed headlines for a notorious, three-word smackdown of homophobes hating on their neighbors, and that same year, issued guidance on how to deal with anti-gay wedding guests.