Unlike other forms of social media, Facebook has managed to keep from devolving into a sexual quagmire. Moderators vet questionable images (sometimes too vigilantly) and, aside from the occasional “poke,” we haven’t seen too much risque action on the site.
So we were rather shocked to stumble across a Facebook community page devoted to barebacking. Created in August 2011, the page currently has 20,209 likes, with 5,560 talking about it.
While there are posts about bareback videos and porn stars (mostly from Treasure Island Media), it also appears members are using the site to hook up for condom-free encounters. “Featured members” submit a photo and any stats they want to share, and other members can begin a dialogue by responding in the comments field. (In one instance, a commenter included his telephone number.)
Interest in the page seems to be growing: The moderator posted earlier this month, “So many featured [BB] member requests!! I might have to start featuring 2 guys per day,”
We haven’t been able to reach the moderator,”Val,” but he did include this preface on the site’s “About” section:
One of the first things you face when you become HIV + is the stigma and discrimination, not only from society in general but especially from the gay community itself.
Many do not understand that the bareback community is a community where you can be free, be yourself and not be judged by the status you have. This is the reason why I created this site, here you can feel safe and not judged, and hopefully meet other people to have fun.
From time to time we get hate messages from people saying that we promote aids and diseases … F. them! They don’t get it. An adult is responsible of his actions, you can’t blame the rest.
This page can only be accessed by people 18 and over. We do not promote “bugchasers,” if you are negative you should do your best to stay that way. If you are positive you are not alone, there are many like you around, all colors, all sizes, and we won’t judge you.
It’s important to seek professional help and stay in controlBeside that … I’d like to welcome you and invite you to participate, interact, make suggestion and overall HAVE FUN! 😉
It’s apples and oranges: There’s nothing questionable about a Facebook page for HIV+ guys, but we didn’t seen anything about AIDS or HIV on the site except for in the “About” section.
This is about encouraging unprotected sex between partners of unknown sero-status. Obviously no one should be thrown in jail for that, but it does leave a bad taste in our mouth. (No pun intended.)
And given how puritanical Facebook is on other issues, should they allow such a page to remain operational?
Our feeling is no—Facebook has made it clear it is a family-friendly space, not a hookup site. And certainly not a bareback hookup site. This isn’t a First Amendment issue, either—Facebook is free to decide what kind of content it allows on its community pages. (Pages devoted to hate groups have been taken down, for example)
But what do you think? Are we being too uptight or should a bareback-sex page—and one that facilitates unsafe liaisons—be allowed?
UPDATE (2/13/13, 8:22pm): Facebook has since taken down the page.
Meowzer
You know by posting this, you’re going to increase their FB traffic immensely. Some people are just going to go out of curiosity. If you don’t want people knowing there are sites to hook up for bareback sex, then don’t mention it. I would bet lots of people didn’t know. Well… maybe not lots.
CaptainFabulous
Yes, you’re being too uptight. I expect this kind of diatribe from a homophobic rag, not from a pro-gay site. Climb down off the soap box Blanche. What consenting adults want to do is their own business. Or do you really want to start down the slippery slope of what’s “good gay sex” versus “bad gay sex”?
People who seek to have bareback sex, for whatever reason they choose (which is of course their right and no business of anyone else’s) will seek it out regardless of whether or not Facebook has a page for it.
Seriously, when did we become our own worst enemies. Who needs the Phelps family to denounce us when we seem to be able to do the job quite nicely on our own?
bmwblonde
Tragically, Darwin (the survival of the fittest, the non-survival of the dumbest), appears to apply to young gay men. I was given the “gift” of Hep-C through military medicine 35 years ago, and after all those years of exhaustion, a slow-cooking “death sentence” — and much fear, I was cured by a new drug trial, just two years ago.
So WHY anyone would anyone risk HIV or worse just to have the “freedom” (oh PLUUESE)of not using a rubber?
1. Young people (or very IMMATURE people of any age) — have that ridiculous, silly “it can’t happen to me” attitude. AND/OR
2. Some young gay men still carry so much shame, which they translate (unconsciously) into self-hatred, that they don’t care about themselves — and thus take such risks.
3. Young gay men want to “belong” so desperately that they’ll join the Bareback Club
just to fit in. This is a combination of #1 and #2 above. The “belonging” fantasy of
barebacking is that it is “more intimate.” Talk about not working one one’s personal
sh___ (not to mention one’s partner’s). Are you guys KIDDING?
The tragedy of Darwinism is that it takes so long, and causes so much personal pain — while “evolution” is selecting out the unfit. This email is NOT about “morals”, by the
way — it’s about not succumbing to self-hating, conformist idiocy.
It’s time for gay men of every age to . . . wait for it . . . GROW UP. Good luck,
all my brothers.
CaptainFabulous
@bmwblonde: Hey look! An armchair psychoanalysis! See guys, you’re having bareback sex not because you enjoy it or have all sorts of problems with condoms, you’re doing it cause deep down inside you really hate yourself.
Who the fuck knew?
MikeE
@CaptainFabulous: Apparently not CaptainOblivious.
CaptainFabulous
@MikeE: Got something to contribute to the conversation or just out trolling today?
tuckenalarm
it’s perfectly right what you’re doing. even if you would attract some idiots who register for that site writing about it. as numbers of hiv-infections grow especially among young gays we MUST write about it. that’s a question of our responsibility as editors. even if people laugh at us. it’s – after all – about living or dying.
eatconsciously
Even if they did better promote it for HIV+ guys, that’s still incredibly risky and stupid. There are many other STI’s beyond HIV and HIV+ folks are at a much higher risk for contracting them! Not to mention obtaining additional STI’s in addition to HIV is going to dramatically decrease your chances of living a long, healthy life. These people are stupid and I agree, it should be taken down.
eatconsciously
@tuckenalarm: precisely!
CaptainFabulous
@eatconsciously: And when you get elected to be the arbiter as to what is and is not permitted sexual activity in the gay community you let us know so I can care about your opinion.
Hey, why don’t we just rework the old anti-sodomy laws and make it a crime to have sex without a condom. Problem solved, right?
The sad part is that I bet a whole bunch of you actually think that’s probably a good idea. Like I said, who needs the Phelps when we have each other to demean, insult, and demoralize ourselves?
tuckenalarm
@bmwblonde:
very true.
tuckenalarm
@CaptainFabulous:
it’s about life and death. that’s all i’m saying. should anybody promote death? when will we grow up and take care for ourselves? it’s got nothing to do with gays discriminating gays. it’s about gays caring for gays. it’s about responsibility. who will protect us, if we don’t?
maxdadmark
Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Some of them come from actual psychoanalysts, others come from fear and ignorance. But what consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes is their own business. If you want to restrict or repress your desires, this is fine. If you want to fuck until you bleed, this is fine. Law makers can stay out of our private lives, thank you. I am almost 57 years old, lived through the sexual revolution in the seventies, I’m a Kinsey 6, and have never used a condom. I also would never use a web-site for casual sex and would never sign up to a sex website that can be seen by all. Being careful is the key, and respect your limitations and others’ freedom.
QJ201
Gay men would not be so cavalier and so ARROGANT about barebacking like it’s some god given right if people were still dropping dead in the streets from AIDS.
Got HIV? No Biggie, just take your pills…except that the pills don’t always work, some folks can’t tolerate the side effects, many states (most in the south, go figure) have waiting lists for poor folks with HIV to get access to these drugs.
What I fucking resent is being treated like I’m some frigging nerdy uptight geek cause I won’t bareback with a complete stranger.
and YES it IS self hatred if you are HIV negative and you let a complete stranger dump a load up your ass without bothering to ask his HIV status.
and YES it IS being foolish to trust that the guy who is breeding your ass is as negative as he says he is.
CaptainFabulous
@tuckenalarm: It was about life and death 25 years ago. A tiny fraction of people living with HIV actually die due to complications of AIDS now. So enough with the “but we’re saving lives”. No, you’re not. HIV isn’t a death sentence and hasn’t been in a long time. We don’t need protecting. We need to stop judging each other and accept that although we’re all gay (or some shade of gay) that we’re entitled to do whatever the hell we want, no matter how risky or unsafe, without some snot nose uppity bitch telling someone they’re living their life the wrong way.
All you can do is point out the risks and let people make their own choices, and not get all holier-than-thou when they make choices you don’t agree with.
I mean, there are all sorts of risky behaviors that people engage in. Should we ban all pages about extreme sports? Surfing? Mountain climbing? High diving? Parachuting? I mean, it’s all about life and death right? Why would you want websites that promote deathly activities like hunting? How many have to die from hunting-related accidents before someone will do something about it? It’s about life and death!
CaptainFabulous
@QJ201: And YES, it IS none of your fucking business what consenting adults do.
2eo
@QJ201: Well said, I was wondering who’d take the champion mantle, and CaptainFabulous is making himself look ever more incompetent with his whole “free to do what I will and ALL adults are too” schtick that was old in 1980 let alone 2013.
Well done everyone wishing for responsibility, and do not consider CF to be indicative of the gay community in general, the more worthless and dimwitted parts perhaps but not educated people with an interest in health and safety of those around us.
Vigilance is the watch word, never be assuaged by those less educated, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
But go right ahead and rebuke it with your rapier wit Fabulous. I’m really interested in these things someone says every single time people mention health and responsibility.
tuckenalarm
i never spoke about BANNING any site. i said it’s right to warn people. ’cause that’s our responsibility to our fellow gay-brothers. and that’s what queerty’s doing. telling people: hey, just consider before joining.
responsibility for each other is taking care. and please don’t tell me, hiv-medication is the coolest thing on earth. it doesn’t cure anythig. it helps you to survive. but at what costs?
what we need in the gay community is a new effort of solidarity. a momentum of responsibility and care of each other. as it has been in times, when it was clear, there’s something to fight for. and yes: there’s still something to fight for today. there’s still NO CURE for HIV/AIDS and even if some people may marry, not everyboby can.
we need solidarity to continue the fight. and we need to be look after each other. ’cause no one else does.
that’s what i mean, when i’m talking about responsibiltity.
2eo
I’m surprised he has made so many posts and only just putting a few capital words in, usually the person at it in these discussions is posting in full on capitals Internet-Rage mode by now, so I suppose he gets some [protected obviously] kudos.
makino
STD FESTTTT!!!!
CaptainFabulous
@2eo: Do you get up on your soapbox at McDonalds and scream at morbidly obese people eating their food cause heart disease is the the #1 killer of Americans, over 600,000 a year?
Do you stand outside mini marts and berate people who buy cigarettes cause 150,000 people die every year from lung cancer?
But you’ll go all apeshit over an activity that results in less than 17,000 deaths a year.
Yes, do go on and show us more about how intelligent, educated, and enlightened you are. Health and responsibility indeed.
maxdadmark
@QJ201: One, keep your mythical religious beliefs out of this. Two, people don’t die from AIDS. Three, you are being called out your need to direct everyone else’s behavior.
2eo
Aww bless, 5 posts in and already resorting to meandering comparison rhetoric. I am disappointed. It’s so much more fun when the person is righteous and at least clever instead of just self righteous.
One wonders why the need for such vociferous defense of idiocy and dislike of those wishing for better health and more informed choices.
Are you purposely infecting people with HIV or another STD?, I may just take a look at your medical records.
maxdadmark
@CaptainFabulous: Take it down a notch and let QJ201 expose his own priggishness. No one is careful if they don’t follow his preaching. You make valid points and don’t need to get hysterical.
tuckenalarm
sorry@CaptainFabulous:
sorry, you’re getiing ridiculous. it’ not not about death-numbers or comparing themn, it’s not about responsibility within a community that’s braéaking apart. you just don’t seem toge it.
will it help you dying just knowing that so many more people die from something else?
QJ201
@CaptainFabulous: Is sure as fuck is my damn business what consenting adults do when they arrogantly and self righteously spread diseases.
maxdadmark
There are certain social and health related causes worth getting worked up about. Environmental pollution, genetically altered food, driving under the extreme influence of substance, gun ownership without responsibility, and pedophilia come to mind. All result in injury, and possibly death for innocent victims. You want to be absolutely sure that you won’t catch AIDS? Become celibate, don’t have direct contact with the blood of someone infected, and don’t share needles.
CaptainFabulous
@QJ201: Y’know what? It’s not. Thinking that it is is part of your problem. Sorry, but unless someone is breaking laws you don’t get to tell anyone what they can and cannot do, nor is it any of your business.
Joetx
It’s things like this that tell me every community has its share of total f’ing morons.
maxdadmark
@QJ201: Oh, my. I was wondering how long it would take for you to expose yourself for what you are. Guess you aren’t a prig, but want to fuck your brains out. Well, then there is a risk for you. Trying to control the entire population so that you can be a slut doesn’t make you any less of a control freak.
The Real Mike in Asheville
@QJ201: While I completely agree with the sentiment of your post, I have a couple questions:
You wrote: “What I fucking resent is being treated like I’m some frigging nerdy uptight geek cause I won’t bareback with a complete stranger.” Really? The vast majority of gay men are HIV-. In 2010, there were approximately 47,500 new HIV cases; 61% from MSM relations, or, approximately 29,000 new cases among gay/bi men. Using an estimate of 3% of the male population engages in MSM, adjusting out for under 18s and over 65s, there are an estimated 3.5 million men engaging in MSM. Thus, 1 in every 120 gay/bi became infected in 2010. Now, IMHO that is way too many; nonetheless, it is less than 1%, so if you truly feel bullied, you need to find new friends and new places to hang.
You wrote: “and YES it IS being foolish to trust that the guy who is breeding your ass is as negative as he says he is.” I’ll simply add: NO ONE can be sure whether they are negative, you can only be sure if you are positive. Because of incubation requirements of the virus, there is not now available any test to show whether the virus is in your body, at the moment of the test. Certainly you can know that as of a point in time you were negative, and unless you are celibate, you can’t know about the now (and if you are celibate).
HalcyonDays
At minimum this kind of irresponsible behavior has financial consequences. The wave of health care costs connected to this behavior will impact all of us in the years to come. Barebacking is not really an entirely individual choice when the impact of the choice goes beyond the individual.
I think as a subculture we have eroticized and fetishized BB. Like many, I find that porn fantasy version erotic, the reality not so much.
erikwm
@CaptainFabulous: Your comparisons are nonsensical. HIV is a communicable disease. It is a pathogen, a living thing. It requires a host.
Skydiving, hunting, and the varied other litany you list are in no way similar. They are themselves recreational activities.
A more apt comparison would be washing one’s hands before eating or after using the restroom. Another would be covering one’s mouth when coughing or sneezing in public. These are actions, undertaken as part of larger activities, intended to limit the spread of infectious disease. They are more similar to condom use.
Limiting the spread of infectious disease, of pathogens that kill, is everyone’s responsibility. You are welcome to shirk that responsibility, but don’t play the martyr when people call you out for what that is — irresponsible.
2eo
@erikwm: He’s already missed the point when I said it, he won’t notice now. Sadly the cycle continues forevermore.
Dresden
@CaptainFabulous: No, HIV is not a death sentence… life is a death sentence.
HIV is living the rest of that life with a compromised immune system; worrying that every time the slightest thing goes wrong (the common cold, the flu, a headache) it could be the beginning of a downward spiral; having to take numerous pills two, three, four times a day, every day for the rest of your life… knowing that at any moment they may stop working for you and, meanwhile, dealing with the body changing, diarrhea inducing, sometimes, debilitating side effects. So yeah… much more fun than surfing or jumping out of an airplane. How dare anyone try to warn a community of people that they care for to stay away from that sort of roaring good time!
erikwm
@CaptainFabulous: Also, public health is society’s business.
While you may have health insurance and pay for your own medication if you become infected with HIV, your partners may not. FACT: The federal government spends hundreds of millions of dollars each year supplying HIV medication to those who can’t afford it through the Ryan White Care Act.
As long as taxpayers are funding the consequences of your irresponsibility, it is our business.
wickentower
You’re just now noticing that there are groups dealing with sexual topics on facebook? What rock have you been living under O..O .
I am a Network Administrator for a School. I have seen some places that allow facebook in their classrooms. But i have also been in others where it is strictly forbidden. and for Good Measure. With the new Privacy Policy’s you can honestly get away with blatant pornography hidden in your albums. so long as it isnt your Cover or your Profile pic and you have the account Hidden from anyone that isnt on your list etc..
LOL… facebook has been a glorified porn haven for a good while now 😛
CaptainFabulous
@erikwm: Irrelevant strawman argument. Try again.
@erikwm, @HalcyonDays: So I’m assuming your next crusade is morbid obesity, which “robs” taxpayers of billions of dollars in healthcare costs, far dwarfing what is spent to combat HIV and AIDS. I mean, if you’re so concerned, that should be your next target? Right?
@Dresden: No, you and others do not seek to “warn” anyone, you seek to shut down the community. You want to educate, go right ahead. You want to denounce the evils of barebacking, be my guest. You actively attempt to or are in favor of suppressing the free expression of those adults who choose to bareback by harassing them, insulting them, intimidating them, or infringing upon their rights of free speech, association, privacy, and the ability to partake of any legal activity they wish, then we have a problem. As as far as I can tell that’s what pretty much everyone here is advocating, not simple “education”.
HalcyonDays
@CaptainFabulous: You are correct. Morbid obesity “robs” taxpayers of billions of dollars in healthcare costs. That is a fact.
CaptainFabulous
@HalcyonDays: So why aren’t you standing on a soap box denouncing all unhealthy foods. Where is your blog post about how Americans shouldn’t be allowed to drink Coke or eat at McDonalds because it could cause obesity that leads to diabetes and heart disease? Is it because that maybe, just maybe, you realize that while you don’t agree or follow that lifestyle or even find it disgusting, that they are adults who have the right to eat and drink whatever the hell they want?
maxdadmark
@CaptainFabulous: You are on fire!
AEH
I don’t understand why would anyone defy reason and common sense for the sake of unprotected sex with people whose medical history is unknown. It’s baffling.
viveutvivas
Yes, Queerty, you are being too uptight. We certainly don’t need more censorship on Facebook. Why should we all pay the price just so 6 year olds won’t see something they can’t handle?
Fidelio
I understand the chances of a bb top contracting HIV is 1 in 2000. 378 more to go, bitches! Woo hoo!
CaptainFabulous
@AEH: I don’t understand how any man could want to have sex with women. I find it equally as baffling. But I don’t go around making a fuss about it.@maxdadmark: I’m just so to death of all the endless nonsense and hypocrisy. None of these guys would tolerate a straight person telling them they shouldn’t have sex with men cause it’s dirty, disgusting, or unhealthy, and would promptly tell them to mind their own damned business. But for some reason it’s a-ok to do the same to those who partake in sexual activities they don’t personally approve of. It’s simple and plain hypocrisy, and I have zero tolerance for it. If we spent 10% of the time and energy we waste worrying about what others are doing and put it towards making the world a better place imagine what we could accomplish instead of constantly trying to tear ourselves down.
Dresden
@CaptainFabulous: I wasn’t denouncing bareback sex or trying to shut down anything; and I certainly wasn’t trying to infringe upon anyone’s right of free speech. I was just telling it like it is… from my own personal experience.
I love bareback sex, because it just feels better. But there are consequences to exposing yourself that way and reminding people about those consequences does neither equate to harassment nor intimidation. If you feel as if I’ve insulted you by injecting a little bit of reality into your delusional little world view, then you’ve only got yourself to blame for not facing the facts in the first place and acting like a hyper-emotional child who’s scared that their toy will be taken away.
erikwm
@CaptainFabulous: There is no federal legislation to specifically fund medication to combat obesity or the spectrum of metabolic syndrome disorders.
The Ryan White Care Act is unique. HIV/AIDS is the only disease — communicable, hereditary, or chronic — that has specific, stand-alone federal legislation to fund the medication of those infected. That is because those who contract it are typically young, previously healthy, individuals who are not eligible for any other federal health insurance program.
The would die quickly without it. It is a unique situation and not comparable to chronic illness that may result from metabolic syndrome.
Joel J
HIV is only one of several risks engendered in bareback sex. I wonder if Captain Fabulous has heard about drug-resistant gonorrhea or of anal and oral cancers caused by direct contact with the papilloma virus. I wouldn’t imagine that venereal warts are any day at the beach. I don’t buy into the Libertarian BS with respect to sexual practice. Remember: it takes two (or more) to tango. One may be free to engage in practices that harm oneself but not others. I think even bona fide Libertarians would agree on that.
Brian
Bareback sex is fine so long as you are both healthy. I know a healthy monogamous gay couple who bareback all the time.
viveutvivas
It seems to be an insidious form of homophobia how “barebacking” is treated as something evil by so many in the selfsame gay community. I don’t see you all up in arms about procreative sex among straight people. That’s also bareback, you know.
Barebacking is not bad in itself. Most straight people do it. Many monogamous gay couples do it. So it can be done with little risk in the right circumstances. It feels better. It is sexier. People will always want to do it for this reason, or if they cannot do so in safe circumstances, at least they will have the outlet to see it in porn. Nothing is wrong with that.
Brian
Men have unprotected anal sex with women all the time. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us.
Santiago
Nice job Queerty. How old are the writers you hire now – 12? So yes – you are being WAY too uptight, immature, and sex negative.
Instead write an intelligent article on how there is no funding for seroconcordant relationships, bareback sex, and impact on health – or write one on positive methods for keeping sex hot with some form of protection – then you do something good. Actually RESEARCH what is being done in terms of medical and or scientific study to keep gay sex connected and hot – and not bash those who in the abscence of any of that – decide to make their own adult choices. Otherwise – you just reacted to a hot button issue hoping to drive comments. Good job. Nothing accomplished.
Chad Hunt
I know I’m going to regret this and am sure to be trolled extensively but here goes:
I wouldn’t have a problem with a “natural sex” page were it to be used to educate it’s members about how you could participate in “natural sex” responsibly.
I do, however, have a problem with a “bareback” hook-up page. The reason for my issue is I have a “do no harm” approach to this issue.
Even if you are an HIV+ positive person who is aware of having “bareback” sex with another HIV+ person can cause reinfection, superinfection , resistance to medications etc and are willing to accept those consequences, the fact that you are willing to let another take that risk too who is also aware of these circumstances and then the both of you to promote it outside of your personal lives onto a public forum such as a social network is just not socially acceptable to me on a site such as Facebook.
Now if this was an HIV+barebacker for HIV+barebacker meeting site then I say to each their own. Two knowledgeable consenting adults are only responsible for themselves. However this seems to be a promotional page on a social network therefore in my opinion socially unacceptable and irresponsible.
Please proceed to trolling me now as I am sure several of you are itching to do.