We’ve all been there. Standing awkwardly and publicly before a TSA agent as they run their hand up our inner thigh, along the underpants band, and around the butt crack, searching for box cutters. It’s part of living in paranoid, post 9-11 America where big brother is always watching.
British crooner Morrissey managed to go all these years without having his personal space invaded by airport security. That was until Tuesday of this week. In an enraged blog post yesterday, the queer rock legend says he was basically molested by TSA agents at San Francisco International Airport.
“At 2:30 in the afternoon I went through the usual airport security procedure including the stand-up ‘scanner’, and all was well,” Morrissey begins. “Before I could gather my belongings from the usual array of trays I was approached by an ‘airport security officer’ who stopped me, crouched before me and groped my penis and testicles.”
Morrissey claims the man who “sexually assaulted” him was the manager on duty.
“Luckily I was accompanied by two members of British Airways Special Services, who were horrified at the sexual attack and suggested that I lodge a complaint,” he continues.
When he went to do so, however, Morrissey claims he was told his allegations were a matter of “opinion.”
The singer continues: “Apart from ‘that’s just your opinion’, he [the manager] would not comment, even though, since the penis and testicles were mine and no one else’s, then my opinion must surely have some meaning.”
“But, of course, what the airport security officer was saying was: your opinion will never count in the eyes of the law.”
As a result, Morrissey issued the following warning to other travelers: “Should you find yourself traveling through San Francisco International Airport, you should expect sexual abuse from the so-called ‘security officers’ who, we are unconvincingly warned, are acting only for our security.”
He concludes his blog commentary with a very good question: “Do people have minds?”