Broad horizons

‘Mostly heteroflexible’ guy wonders if he’s selfish for being curious

A particularly conscientious dude said he is “bicurious” and “mostly heteroflexible”… and concerned that he’s selfish for wanting to explore his sexuality with another guy.

“So I identify as mostly heteroflexible, but I’ve had the desire for years to hook up with another guy to see how it is. Basically oral and making out/foreplay only,” he wrote in a recent Reddit thread. “That said, even though I can express that on an app, I feel as though it’s selfish. I’m really only doing this to fulfill a sexual urge, and it feels thoughtless to a partner.”

Related: Bi-curious guy unsure how to proceed after girlfriend gives him permission to boink another dude

He went on: “So, I guess the general question is, if somebody directly suggests their desire is just to fool around (and, like, during the encounter, I’m going to put in my work to make my partner feel like a million dollars) and makes it clear that this is just for fun, is that morally okay? It just feels slightly rude and denigrating to whoever I hook up with that my only desire is to fuck around and fulfill a curiosity.”

Happily for this conflicted fella, commenters assured him that, with proper communication, he should feel free to have some fun.

“You just described 80% of the app users in wanting just a hookup, lol,” one wrote. “And there will be plenty of guys interested in fulfilling a curiosity of a ‘straight’ guy. Go have fun but trust your gut on any potential red flags or aggressive behavior.”

Another wrote: “As long as you’re honest about your intentions and what you’re up for, and you maintain those boundaries, you are not responsible for the other person’s feelings, unless you become aware that the other person wants more from you.”

Related: 15% of the general population may now identify as heteroflexible, study finds

A third commenter shared the wisdom he learned from his high school theater class. “They taught us that as long as the audience enjoys the show, you did a good job,” he wrote. “I don’t think they need to know your motivations. Just don’t be an asshole, be upfront with what you are willing to do, and be communicative and interactive.”

Sounds like this guy is headed for a happy ending… or two!