Mr. Queen

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What to do when those cherished hair follicles kamikaze their way down to the ground? Well a few things, but we have our own personal suggestions. Any gay man, correction, any man can spot a cheap toupee a mile away (The Donald!), so that’s definitely out. Hair Club’s plugs can be pricey and there’s no way to get out of the PMS-like regular monthly visits. And you already pop enough pills to risk adding Propecia to your Vicodin-filled medicine cabinet.

So just take it off.

Sure Vin Diesel stars in bad films (ok, they fucking blow) but the man knows what to do with a bad hairline. He goes chrome-dome. No pathetic comb over, no butchered buzz cut. It’s simple, clean, and sexy.

Before you go for the Mr. Clean look yourself, be sure to trim whatever is left down to a wiffle. Then go ahead and smear your head with a thick coat of shaving cream. Start shaving from the back and work your way forward. That’s really it.

It’s best if you have someone else do the shaving for you. When Jude Law’s widow’s peak inevitably morphs into a widow’s valley, you can bet he’ll have his nanny clean off his own head.