How much have you been hoping for a Fire Island reality show? Well, it’s here.

If there was a list cataloguing all the things humans can do without, a reality show fixating on Fire Island would almost certainly be included.

But a reality show fixating on Fire Island we shall have, even if we shall not decide to watch.

If you cringed at The A-List and grimaced at Finding Prince Charming, you can practice “palpably wincing” in the mirror until the premiere.

Related: WATCH: “Gay Bachelor” Robert Sepulveda Jr. Addresses Escorting Past: “I Was Young”

Focusing on six “friends” in Fire Island, the aptly-titled Fire Island just entered our consciousness by way of the below short teaser, which heavily hints that the show will be exactly what you expect: Speedos, screaming, social climbing, shrill shrews, soirees….

Related: “Gay Bachelor” Robert Sepulvedar Jr. re-enacts hustling days for limited-edition calendar

Dancer from the Dance this is not. Brought to you by Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelo’s production company Milojo, it’s at least a cheaper alternative to crystal meth for anyone ISO self-orchestrated drama this summer.

But now, let’s pause from being preemptively judgy to meet the cast:

Khasan Brailsford

Happy national dance day ??

A post shared by Khasan Brailsford (@khasanb84) on

Jorge Bustillos

#criminal ??#Harlem #NYC

A post shared by JORGE BUSTILLOS (@jorgebustillos) on

Brandon Osorio

Touching tips.

A post shared by Brandon Osorio (@brandonosorio) on

Cheyenne Parker

Justin Russo

Patrick McDonald

Mike Pence, you're not ready henny… #makeamericagreatagain

A post shared by Patrick McDonald / Poly Cockit (@pattymac42) on

Don't forget to share:

This article includes links that may result in a small affiliate share for purchased products, which helps support independent LGBTQ+ media.