“‘Chubby chasing’ is as good as it gets,” muscle man Dan Oliverio explains in a new interview with the Huffington Post. “That contrast of body types in bed can be totally hot.”
At 6 feet and 225 pounds and with the ability to bench press 350, Oliverio is a fitness nut who could have his pick of men.
His preference? Chubby guys. In fact, the chubbier the better.
“I grew up living next door to a gay couple and lived in an arts dorm in college,” Oliverio says. “I’ve always been around gay people. … But I never wanted to hop in bed with one or put my dick up his ass, so I figured I wasn’t gay. I took years to figure out that fat made such a big difference in my sexuality.”
Oliverio believes that many gay men are closet chubby chasers, but they deny their desires for meatier men because of the stigma surrounding fat.
“Many other guys fight against it or think of fucking a fat guy as a guilty pleasure or, worse, a dirty secret,” he says. “Again, the stigma of fat.”
He knows this because he was once one of those men. For Oliverio, accepting that he was attracted to chubby guys took time.
“It took several long-term relationships that didn’t work out to show me just how important that physical aspect was,” he says. “I didn’t dump my ex because he wasn’t fat enough. Actually, he started the break-up process because he said that he didn’t feel like I was attracted to him.”
Surprisingly, because of his devilish good looks and near perfect physique, Oliverio says he can have trouble meeting chubby guys to date.
“Ever try to cruise a guy and have him ignore you and face the wall?” he says. “Lots of hot fat guys won’t even make eye contact with me, which makes it very hard to assess interest.”
But when he does meet a chubby guy and the two of them go out on dates together, it always brings him great satisfaction.
“When I’m out with a huge guy and we’re holding hands, people don’t care that much. If anything, they smile,” he explains. “Sometimes they even say, ‘You guys are such cute couple.’ I think it’s because deep down people want to believe that there really is someone for everyone. Maybe seeing a muscle hunk with a huge fat guy gives people hope.”
h/t: Leon Acord, Huffington Post
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badtungsten
And let the fat shaming begin…
jwtraveler
To each his own. If he and his fat boyfriend are happy, that’s all that counts.
wagnerwallace
Oh God… Did he really refer to himself as a “muscle hunk”, and his boyfriend as a “huge fat guy”….
He makes himself sound like such a great guy, and not egocentric or narcissistic at all…
Cam
I always think it’s weird when people always claim that whatever it is they like is “The Best”.
No, it’s the best for them. If somebody is completely gaga over huge muscles, then dating a skinny runner isn’t going to be as good for them. If somebody is more attracted to skinny runner types, then a huge muscle guy isn’t going to be as good.
This guy seems like he wants applause for dating somebody he is attracted to. Is he more in to chubby guys, or is he more into talking about what a wonderful person he is, because he, a “Muscle Hunk” deigns to date “A huge fat guy”?
Stache99
I would just call it a fetish. I wonder though as someone who obviously cares about his own body a great deal will he try to help his partner shed the pounds to become more healthy and thus less attractive or will he just push the extra helpings of cake to his lover hoping that he gets even more deliciously fat. Hmmm..
Kieran
Diffrent strokes for different folks. Whatever floats your boat.
Arcamenel
He’s fetishizing bigger men and that’s not cool. My heart goes out to the guys he dates, they probably have poor self-esteem.
MarionPaige
This sounds like a lame rehash of that episode of the tv show Shasta McNasty (1999 – 2000) in which the character played by Jake Busey becomes obsessed with having sex with a heavy girl. Shasta McNasty was in fact the very first time I heard the term FAT SEX.
In fact, it was Shasta McNasty’s infamous use of “Fat Sex” that inspired our use of the term BUTT SEX.
But then most twenty-somethings probably think Gawker invented the terms Fat Sex and Butt Sex.
MarionPaige
http://www.bitchless.com/content/shasta-mcnasty-and-fat-sex
GLF
@Arcamenel: Couldn’t agree more. If what you’re concerned with is your partner’s physicality alone and not their personality or shared interests, how is that any different than the chickenhawk who only chases after twinks and refuses to admit that someone could find that unfulfilling? Of course, we don’t come to Queerty for insightful social comment.
Sammy Schlipshit
Oh, thank the world and cosmos. There may be hope for me yet…that is if he also wants a geezer….er….that would be Mr. Geezer.
Go for it. Whatever it takes for two (or more) folks to be happy.
MarionPaige
The other “thing” about Shasta McNasty was that the character played by Carmine Giovinazzo was in the habit of searing sleeveless shirts and t-shirts. It was on the only thing on tv that served arm pit hair.
http://youtu.be/iH9QCj40Fsc
Alan down in Florida
@GLF: Don’t you think you’re putting the cart ahead of the horse? Without the initial attraction the likelihood of finding out all the information that you consider important is low. I can’t get to know what kind of person you are if I never talk to you and the chances of us talking and having a meaningful conversation are nearly nil if we don’t have that initial attraction that makes us want to know more about each other.
When I was younger I used to avoid chubby chasers because I couldn’t get my head around why someone would want me for exactly the one thing about myself I hated the most. What I’ve learned is that the opportunity for fat guys like me of finding someone are small enough that it’s ridiculous to rule someone out because of my body dysmorphia.
That said, I can’t help but believing that when this self-professed hunk is walking hand-in-hand with his fat friend that the average person who sees him that he has been bought and paid for for the night/day – no matter how genuine their relationship may be.
ida dunham
I’m not sure how true Dan’s statement is about all those closet chubby chasers out there who would be dating fat guys but for the stigma against fat. I think gay guys are for the most part naturally attracted to slim or muscular guys and that hot, muscular chubby chasers are very rare commodity who are in very high demand.
Billy Budd
I am slightly fat but I must admit I am attracted the most to lean muscular guys, “swimmers build”.
aliengod
Most of these “chasers” are just predators looking for fat guys with low self esteem. It sounds pretty condescending to refer to your partner as “huge fat guy”. I’m sure this “muscle hunk” is quite the catch.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
@Kieran:
Don’t ya mean whatever floats your bloat??? :p
Sammy Schlipshit
@PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS:
Oh, that’s not nice….but it is funny nonetheless. Good word play.
Chris
@PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: That was mean; but why can’t I stop laughing!?
If they are both happy, then more power to them.
dhmonarch89
did he play Muscle’s bf on Old Dogs/New Tricks? He was a chubby chaser on that as well.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
@Sammy Schlipshit:
@Chris:
Thanks for not replying with a typical BOQB nasty reply. You both noticed I ended with a :p which kinda sorta makes up for my snarky remark……
Arkansas Razorback
This is just another form of kink. And no, most gay guys aren’t secretly attracted to fat guys. Its a rare kink.
The most attractive qualities in a male are masculinity, discipline and strength. Guys with those qualities might not be bodybuilders, but they are definitely not morbidly obese.
Soft bodies are feminine. It is evolutionary.
SportGuy
If that is what he likes then good for them. Everyone deserves to find a partner in life.
Joe Dalmas
@wagnerwallace: My thoughts exactly.
sylentknight1
@Arkansas Razorback: I think it’s very Rude to say that chub features are not masculine. I myself am a chub and consider myself to be masculine. It’s thought patterns like yours that set the gay community back and perpetuate division.
Jack77
Everything sexual is a fetish in some way shape or form. You could say that the attraction to bigger guys is kink, or fetish, but their really are more people out there looking for bigger guys than you think. Sure some are your predatory types who believe that bigger guys will be more “grateful” to be with them, and have them etc. As for the larger gay community being obsessed with fit hard men well I think that’s a stereotype. Simply because not everyone in the gay community is “hard, and fit”. I know many gay couples that are average normal guys. I think its all a matter of what you’re looking for. I find that people who are simply looking for sex are more after the gym guys. Not that there is anything wrong with that either. To each their own, whatever makes you happy, but as a big guy who has dealt with a plethora of different men, and who gets hit on fairly frequently. It’s hard to know the motives of others, but that’s any relationship regardless of your size.
Arkansas Razorback
@sylentknight1 Soft bodies are more typical of the feminine. That’s just biological reality. Go to any gay bar with dancers. There are muscle guys, muscle bears, or twinks. There are never chubs. The bars put the guys up there that will drive revenue to their bars. Its just reality. You also don’t see muscle-bound women with no breasts at straight strip clubs. Both of these preferences are driven by our biology. Those attracted to the masculine are attracted to strength and virility. Those attracted to the feminine are attracted to the soft and curvy. Don’t blame me. I’m just pointing out the truth.
There are guys who are turned on by the chubby look, but it’s rare. There are also gay men who almost exclusively go for drag queens. Again, very rare.
The guy in the article claims there are a lot of closet gay chub-lovers out there. Nothing in my experience bears that out.
Arkansas Razorback
@Jack77: Fetish isn’t the same as having a “type”. Fetish is focusing on one aspect of a potential partner and only being able to get off if the partner possesses that characteristic. Some guys (gay and straight) can only get off on feet. Some guys (gay or straight) can only get off with pain. The way this guy talks about “fat” makes it his fetish. It reminds me of the men who wind up obsessed with women’s feet and shoes after spending their early childhood playing in the floor of a women’s salon, surrounded by high-heeled feet.
Most gay guys have some sort of general “type”. But most gay guys are attracted to a relatively wide spectrum of different guys. Most gay guys don’t say “I can only get off on huge biceps” or “I can only get off on guys who are morbidly obese”. Fat-worship is in the same fringe category as an exclusive foot fetish, or someone who eroticizes amputees.
The point is, guys aren’t “holding back” from banging fat guys because of taboo. Very few men are attracted to morbidly obese men. If it were typical, you would never have read the article, because it wouldn’t have been published.
Jack77
@Arkansas Razorback: As a fellow Arkansan I have to disagree with you on the closeted gay chub-lovers. Im a big guy and my experience is different. I do get hit on, and not always by unattractive people. Some just want sex, and don’t really care what their sexual partner looks like because for them its more assisted masturbation. However some have expressed their apprehension because of the stigma that you are settling, or that something is wrong with you for not wanting a buff muscled man. Which is a rational apprehension fostered by rampant body shaming of those who are overweight. Why our community insists upon tearing down others who are different is baffling to say the least. When at some point in all our lives we have been and some continue to be outcast. Some will make very crappy comments feigning some sort of concern for the health of others only to mask their general judgmental nature.
Arkansas Razorback
@Jack77: Everybody gets hit on by somebody. Not everybody wants muscles. A tiny, tiny minority want extremely fat men/women. I’m not tearing anybody down. I’m just comparing the statements made in the article to reality as most gay men experience it.
Again, show me a fat club with fat-dancers.
We are talking about SEX here and not much else. The word is in the title of the article. It is one thing to promote accepting someone’s body and falling in love with imperfection. Nobody is perfect. This guy is talking about fat men objectively and admitting that he can’t enjoy sex without obesity. That is nothing more than a fetish, and it is a very rare one in the gay community.
jwtraveler
It’s interesting how many of you picked up on the term “huge fat guy”, but completely overlooked “hot fat guy”. It seems that he’s just using the word “fat” as and adjective to describe the type of guys he’s attracted to while all of you are making a judgment about it. And I’m sure he’s the only gay man who objectifies men based on physical appearance. HA!
10or
I wish that the negative commenters had read the full interview on Huffington Post with Dan before commenting here. Here is an excerpt from the HP article:
“L.A.: Where does one draw the line between desire and fetishism?
D.O.: That’s an easy one. Fetish is what you call someone’s desire if you think it’s stupid, sick or dirty. If you can’t stand stupid men, if you insist that any man you go out with be smart and have excellent conversational skills, no one accuses you of having an “intelligence fetish.” A fetish always describes something negative. Now “fetish” does have a very specific definition in sexology, but that’s not what people mean when they use it.
I talk a lot in my seminars [about] “desire” vs. “objectification.” I say that you’re objectifying someone when what you want is more important than who the other person is. For example, if you’re comfortable seeing yourself as a writer, then you probably don’t have a problem if a guy says, “I just love writers. They’re so great in bed.” On the other hand, you’re a Hispanic guy, but it’s not a huge part of how you see yourself. So perhaps you’re a little unsure if a guy says, “I just love Latinos. They’re so good in bed.” Do you take the compliment or take offense? However, if someone frames you in an identity that you actively reject, or a part of yourself that you’re at war with, you’re likely to feel demeaned, devalued, and objectified: “I just love huge fat guys. They’re so good in bed.” If you’re OK with being fat, you’re probably OK with the comment. If you hate being fat, or if you live in fear of becoming fat, then the comment seems insensitive, offensive, even hostile.”
The full article is still on Huffington Post and is well worth the read.
As a 350lb gay man in a 12 year relationship with a 135lb gay man (we married in CA last year) we are just like every other couple. There was an initial physical attraction, but that was quickly replaced with other feelings as we discovered that we were compatible physically, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, and every other way that a couple can be compatible. Just like being gay is one small aspect of who I am, my weight is just another aspect of who I am, and I am fortunate to have found a man who thinks that I am perfect just the way I am.
As for how many chubby chasers there are out there? I don’t have any scientific proof, but all I know is that when I was single I never had any problems finding men to date, or guys to hook up with. I had plenty of men to choose from, and I was picky about who I would date or go home with. So if chubby chasers were rare creatures I think my dating life would have been pretty desolate, but in fact my dating life seemed no more difficult than my thinner friends. If anyone has proof that chubby chasers are extremely rare, I’d like to see your proof.
heavylifter
I don’t think Dan has “devilish good looks”, I certainly would not be interested, and his “near perfect physique” looks like the result of a middle aged guy whose done some basic steroid cycles and is probably now on a steroid stack.
His whole “I’m a hot muscle guy into fat guys!” gambit is a source of Narcissistic supply.
DLinParadise
Who wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “Huge fat guy”? If he really is attracted to heavy men, he should respect them more.
onthemark
Years ago, Dan Savage gave a stunningly RUDE reply to a straight guy with a fat fetish. The straight guy went on and on about how attracted he was to “fat chicks,” but he was embarrassed to seriously date them because of what his friends & family would think, etc. etc., & he ended with “Is there something wrong with me?”
Dan’s one word reply was “Yes.”
I had trouble taking Dan seriously after that.
Here I think it’s interesting that no one has mentioned “Muscle Hunk’s” belief when he was younger that he must not even be GAY! At all. Because of the fat fetish? Something’s going on there that we’d need to unravel.
newyorkdavid
This guy is fairly well-known on the “gaining” scene – on sites like Grommr and biggercity. On these sites, he refers to his partner as his fatboy or “the piglet”; and writes horrific fiction, where his weight requires leg amputation or where he’s ritually humiliated in public places. He boasts about having to tie the piglet’s shoes for him, and how he forces him to drink tubs of Haagen-Dasz, mixed with half-and-half (while he only takes a protein shake) for breakfast. While I’m sure he enables and provides a comfortable life for his “boyfriend”; it does seem to be a terrible form of abuse for someone with little self-worth. There’s narcissism, and there’s something quite different…
dloehmann
I don’t suppose there will ever be a time, now or in the future, when people free themselves from the belief that in order for anyone to be attractive to them, they must conform to very strict standards. Hets do this as much as gays, but it seems gays are really adamant about their standards and quite dismissive of those who do not ‘measure up.’ Sexual attraction is very important in any relationship, but it should be the icing on the cake, not the entire cake.
I’ve met a lot of different men in my life. They covered a wide range of body types, muscular, full-bodied, thin, fit, in drag, whatever. Each time I met these men, I allowed them to be themselves. I didn’t put any ‘type’ on them, didn’t see them as a type, I saw them as a person. Something in the way they spoke, the sound of their voice, the look in their eyes, those things made me like them.
It’s one thing to have an understanding about what does or does not attract you to another person. In any event, the one thing we all should try and do is be nice, friendly and kind. When someone approaches you and shows interest in meeting you, that person is paying you a compliment. If your only reaction to that is a bitchy, dismissive disdain, then I would say to you: ‘Who the phuck do you think you are?’
DogCollarPistolWhip
The “gay community” as we present ourselves is such a “Star Wars bar-scene” of misfits and defectives. Stop normalizing fetishism and trauma-induced sexual fixations. And if you’re at a “sex-themed fat-acceptance seminiar”, you’ve already failed at life. Give me more gays like Jack Donovan, please. Not painfully gay-faced fetishists and their objects of desire.
shep
Sorry but this is old news for me! It may be new for the gay community but I work in the hotel business and have seen really huge women with men so skinny they’d blow away in a good wind and I’ve seen big men and skinny women too. I happen to be a 42 year gay man and yes I have a bit of a muffin top so to speak but I also have a 29 year old latin husband built like a brick wall who rocks my world 🙂 To each his own and do what makes you happy.
Roan
How sad for him that with his devilish good looks and near perfect physique that he has trouble finding fat guys to f * uck.
onthemark
@Roan: You left out his great personality – uck.
@DogCollarPistolWhip: “Stop normalizing fetishism and trauma-induced sexual fixations.” Coming from a guy who calls himself DogCollarPistolWhip, that’s hilarious.
@newyorkdavid: Wow… that really puts a sinister spin on all this.
Stache99
People need to understand. You don’t call someone obese, chubby, or fat anymore. It’s considered an insult. You refer to them as Bears. That kind of talk will get your ass kicked in places like Silverlake.
DogCollarPistolWhip
@onthemark: That’s the joke. 🙁
BlogShag
This guy is nuts. I’ve tried fat guys, abd um just as grossed out about it now as I was back then or when my curiosity bent enough to try it
DogCollarPistolWhip
@BlogShag: I’ve never banged an obese man. I’ve banged a few fat women in my drunk college straight phase, and the smell. Its one you will never forget. I imagine its the same for people who discover a dead body. Sometimes the whiff of the garbage can overdue for emptying can send me into dry heaves with the visuals it brings back.
maxxbot
I don’t think it’s as uncommon as people think for muscular guys to like fat guys. I’m built like the guy in the article and while I don’t like super obese guys I think guys with a belly are often really hot.
maxxbot
@Arkansas Razorback: If attraction to femininity was rare among gay men, why are twinks a desired body type?
jwtraveler
@maxxbot: Are twinks feminine? I hadn’t noticed.
Imperialist
And this guy would be who/what?
RealBlast3
The guy and the situation in this article is an exaggeration, but the scene of Bears/Gainers/Encouragers/Chasers or the more outdated term “chubby chasers” or just gay guys that love a guy with a belly is definitely not “rare” or “unusual”. They’re everywhere and all you have to do is check out some of the sites someone already mentioned, like the facebook like social media sites Grommr or Chasabl or the Bellybuilders community to be blown away by the vast numbers of men on there who would be part of that category.
Stories like this get posted because they paint extreme portraits and people are drawn to the Jerry Springer like sensationalism they project.
Plenty of gay men are attracted to overweight gay men or gay men with bellies. There’s a whole lot of very routine and average attraction going on all the time to men who are in between skinny and super morbidly obese.
TomOH
While I don’t agree with his remark that all gay men are closet chubby chasers, it’s refreshing to hear that some gay men do prefer bigger guys and aren’t ashamed to say it. I’m so sick of the snobby pretentious prissy emaciated gay men, obsessed with youth, who act like their opinion of the ideal man is the gold standard that everyone should envy. They act like their they rule the roost or something because they weigh 100 lbs, and think that everyone lusts for them because of it. Wake up call – no, many of us don’t. I like my guys older and bigger, you were never on my radar to begin with – and I’ve had it with your mother superior attitudes.
sylentknight1
@Arkansas Razorback: Really truth? I think you are disillusioned sir. Not everyone wants to see just musclemen at the bars. By the way, twinks, to me are far more fem and soft than most chub. Biologically, fat does not mean more soft….where did you get this “truth”. Being a man is about so much more than what you clearly think. It has more to do about integrity and how you treat people and handle business, that is truth. I’ve seen more musclemen and twinks and fits guys that are super feminine. As far as discipline, I have a lot of it. Such as finance, my business and my spiritual growth. You have a lot to learn about truth.
Arkansas Razorback
@sylentknight1: “Not everyone wants to see just musclemen at the bars.” No, but most do, and that’s why most dancers are muscular or younger fit guys.
“Biologicially, fat does not mean more soft”. Fat is softer than muscle. And I said that biologically, round, soft bodies are a feminine trait. Its true.
“Being a man is about so much more than you clearly think.”
We’re talking about sex, attraction, and the male form. Everything I said about masculine features is true and based in evolutionary biology.
“As far as discipline, I have a lot of it”. Obesity demonstrates a lack of self-control and, in our present age, is a sign of poor health.
topshelf
While I’m not attracted to obese men, I prefer men who aren’t rock hard and lifting their shirt to show their abs at every opportunity. Someone who is in shape, hits the gym a couple times a week and looks good in-and-out of clothes is a total catch. But the guys who spend hours working out every day and excessively rationing their food intake seem to have a laundry list of hangups.
dueydotnet
The first line of this article on Queerty is taken out of context. When Dan says, “chubby chasing is a good as it gets”, it’s in response to the question, “So is “chubby chasing” the correct phrase? Is there a new, politically correct phrase?”. I think Queerty pulled stuff out of context to incite controversy.
This isn’t a fetish or a kink. Many chubby chasers are not attracted at all to non-chubby people. And, actually, this shaming is what is causing chubby chasers to “stay in the closet”, and to question themselves because they don’t feel normal. Dan is trying to help people realize that this is normal and alright.
jwtraveler
@DogCollarPistolWhip: Give me the fattest man in the world. It’ll take him over you, you vile piece of detritus.
startenout
@Arkansas Razorback: Rockbar in the West Village in NYC is the bar that you don’t believe exists that has large bodies dancers. Just because it isn’t your experience, doesn’t make it rare, nor just because it is your opinion that these people don’t exist make it any more valid than the guy’s opinion who wrote the article. I’m pushing 300 lbs and have never had any trouble finding sexual partners or boyfriends. No more than my thinner friends at least.
mayco_pineda
Im a muscular guy and I like chubby guys. Not obese but chubby with alot to grab. And a cute face and shorter. It kinda just makes me horny bein the more muscular one on top of a chubby guy.they are the best cuddliest guys too! Love hugging a cute chub! I like big manboobs lol dont know if its strange ? Im purty and dont wanna be fatty but i just love when a guy gpt a cute chubby bod n face. Im datin a chub. I just love how he feels!