mythbusting

What are the myths about being gay that the gays believe?

Two men looking serious

Sometimes, with misconceptions about us gays, the calls are coming from inside the house!

In a recent Reddit thread, a user named u/Puzzleheaded-Day3302 asked about common myths about us gays from us gays.

“We all know that straight people believe some weird stuff about us,” he wrote. “I’d be rich if I counted all the times I’ve been asked who’s the woman. But what are some things that even gay guys tend to falsely believe about being gay?”

You’d think that we’d all know by now that there’s no one way to be gay, that our particular stripe of the rainbow has a spectrum of identities within. But it seems we’re not above stereotyping fellow gays as masculine tops or feminine bottoms who are urbane urbanites incapable of monogamy, life over 30, and life without iced coffee!

Here are some of the self-inflicted myths Redditors mentioned:

“That we have better taste or are more ‘cultured’ than straight people. Nope, I have trash taste in most measures.”

“You are either feminine or masculine. No in between.”

“Your sex position determines your gender expression. If you’re a top, you must be masculine and ‘manly.’ If you’re a bottom, you must be feminine and sissy. Some even have this belief to the extent that it decides your duties or responsibilities in a committed relationship. That’s so frustrating.”

“That your life is over at 30.”

“That straight men will fall in love with you eventually the more you hook up with them.”

“Your sexual position in bed and your personality are the same thing.”

Related: Redditors name what the straights will never understand about the gay experience

“That if you distance yourself from ‘the gay culture,’ you have internalized homophobia. No bitch, I’m just too f*cking nerd and introverted to enjoy some of that stuff.”

“That ‘versatile’ doesn’t actually exist.”

“That everyone likes anal sex, group sex, or polyamory.”

“That tops and bottoms are different species.”

“That gay men everywhere drink iced coffee, when American gays are actually on their own with that.”

“You’re gay because of something in your childhood—you didn’t have a father or he wasn’t a strong father, etc. Typical psychologist idiocy.”

“Gay men can’t be monogamous.”

“Apparently we all have to move to a gayborhood. No, thank you, I’m very comfortable where I currently am.”

“That we all want to be metropolitans.”

“That we’re hornier or talk about sex more than straight men.”

“That we have good taste in clothes. That statement is not true, if anything my fashion sense sucks.”

Related: What’s the origin of the ‘well-dressed, articulate, educated gay man’ stereotype?

“Being ‘masc’ is internalized homophobia.”

“That we all like mimosas and ‘brunch,’ whatever the f*ck that is. (I’m much more of an ale and steak-and-kidney pudding type, really.)”

“That two tops can’t have a long-term relationship.”

“‘Just the tip.’ Come on.”

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