THE COLD SEMI-HARD TRUTH

New Research Reveals Average Penis Size Is Much Smaller When You Stop Lying About Penis Size

tumblr_mpshpw1u9j1qj03xbo2_500Size queens the world over are feeling the shaft of reality this week, as sexuality researchers at Indiana University released a chilling report that claims the average erect penis size (of a small control group, thank god) is actually much smaller than previously inflated national averages—5.57 inches, to be exact.

Researchers say they believe this to be the most accurate collection of data because they have also unearthed another shocking truth about the flaws of previous studies suggesting the average penis size is much larger: Men often lie about their penis size.

Blasphemy!

Dr. Debby Herbenick, co-Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, says that men are often required to report their own measurements in most studies related to penis size because getting a boner in front of a room full of doctors measuring your penis is easier said than done. Though she didn’t personally measure all 1,661 men included in her study (sucks to be her), she came up with a crafty way to avoid the tragic over-reporting:

“Unlike most previous studies of self-reported penis size, they had good reason to report accurate data to us because we were using their size data to match them to a condom that was sized to fit their erect penis. If they reported a bigger-than-reality size to us, they would get a baggier condom. If they reported a smaller-than-reality size to us, the condom would be too tight.”

It makes sense that those involved reported their penis size correctly in order to essentially win a free custom-fit condom, because the only thing worse than a baggy condom is a baggy condom you got for free that could have been a beautiful, custom-made condom if only you were honest. Sheesh.

Don’t worry, though! There’s still hope if you’re feeling blue about living in the land of five-inchers. Dr. Herbenick also found that men were more likely to have a larger erection when receiving oral sex than they would via self-stimulation. That means no matter what your penis size, the man on the other end of it is enjoying it at its best.

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28 Comments

  • d4divine

    I am not surprised…

  • Tackle

    There are two things that men are guaranteed to lie about. Yes their penis size and the other being their height.

  • RomanHans

    Hey, thanks for this! It’s utterly ridiculous, and it strikes me as patently offensive when people supposedly in the SCIENCE field — you know, the field that uses bizarre chemicals, radioactivity and dead bodies as office supplies — are too scared to get a guy HARD. It’s clearly homophobic to me to note that studies have been conducted to see if mice like Cheetos but nobody’s got a clue if big feet mean big meat.

    More here:
    http://worldclassstupid.blogspot.com/2007/07/big-feet-big-stuff-or-big-bluff.html

  • Ottoman

    And what are the chances that guys who are smaller are less likely to participate in such studies at all, thus skewing the averages higher than they actually are. In other words, unless these alleged scientists are able to get a truly random sample and measure the goods themselves, all of these “studies” are nonsense.

  • kurt_t

    It’s like I tell the kids, what difference does it make how big it is. You’re having sex with it, not rolling out a pie crust.

  • hf2hvit

    @Tackle: Two more: Their income and bottoms who call themselves tops!!!

  • Dominickj

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha I loved the last line BEST “That means no matter what your penis size, the man on the other end of it is enjoying it at it’s best”

  • Charles175

    @Tackle: What you say is quite true. Guys lie about both of these attributes. Yet at the same time as the old saying goes, “the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side”. I on occasion, have run into someone, start to get to know him, and then when he sees my size, I get turned down. Now this does not happen very often but when it does, it is extremely aggravating and frustrating. Not even been given the chance to even try really pisses me off. Many, many years ago I was introduced to a guy that had a build like a horse jockey. About 4’11” and about 100 pounds. I looked down at him and said to myself: “I got to be careful with this one”. I never allowed him to see what I had and he let me go up in him. I was extremely careful and slow. At the time I gave him only what he could handle. When I was done and I pulled out he said, “if I knew you were that big I would’ve never even let you try”. I replied, “that’s why I didn’t let you see it”. I said, “did I hurt you?” He said no. We became pretty good friends and every once in a while we got it on then one day I discovered that he moved. In retrospect, is best to focus on the person and who they are inside. I would rather have a man with a small dick yet have a big heart. Being small means it goes in easy. That petite friend of mine was also endowed somewhat small down there but I enjoyed bottoming for him whenever he wanted. Yes I do like the feel of someone my size or somewhat larger going up in me but the person behind his piece is far more important to me.

  • hf2hvit

    @Charles175: I think you need to provide visual aids with that biographical moment.

  • yaoming

    @hf2hvit: I got a boner just reading it.

  • rcs831

    @Charles175: There was something really gross about that story.

  • stadacona

    Lets see race based stats. I bet asians drag down the average overall. Take asians out of the equation and I bet the average is 7 inches.

  • Tackle

    @Charles 175: all that talk about going up in him. Giving him only what he can handle. Going slow and pulling out, man that’s hot. I know your intent was not to get people worked -up with your story, but it did. For some of us.

  • Daniel-Reader

    The study has an inherent flaw. It needs to be cross-referenced against the person’s weight. Because actual size would only be accurate if the person is at their ideal body weight. Other America being the 2nd fattest national populace on the planet means the results are distorted by weight. Because of distribution of fat on the human body, a person loses 1 inch from their size for every 35 lbs of extra body fat. Lose 70 lbs of weight heading back towards your ideal weight and you gain 2 inches, for example.

  • ek76

    The study doesn’t take into account that gay men have bigger penises then straight men, on average.

  • Jason b.

    If you go by the pictures of non-professionals on Tumblr you would think every man out ther is hung like a horse. Not that I have seen any of these pictures, just sayin. :)

  • rand503

    What about thickness? What’s the average girth?

    These are all pressing concerns.

  • blech

    I’m not a fan of the little dick. I’ve been intimate with some very tall, muscular, hot, handsome men…and then they show me their genitals and I just die if it’s ill-proportioned in the small.

    Sure…I’ll bottom while I read the morning newspaper and yawn half-asleep!

    I love my big dick and shall flaunt it while I live!

  • Wayne_in_NYC

    I need to get a government grant and start conducting my own exhaustive 2 year study to finally settle this burning conundrum! Gays, Straights, Bi’s, Asians, Blacks, Caucasians, Latinos… All represented equally… And I’ll have to be certain that they are fully erect before measuring them, to assure scientific accuracy!

  • miagoodguy

    I like the lie that gay men tell themselves about being bigger thasn straight men.

    The other lie men in generally say is the number of times they have had sex (or the number of sex partners)

  • Charles175

    @rcs831: This is an experience that I had back in the early 80s when I was about 23 and he was about 18 or so. My experience taught me that physical size does not matter as much as the person himself. Am not sure what you’re implying by saying “something really gross about this story”.

  • TastelessChap

    @ No. 15 Daniel-Reader
    Absolutely correct! I’ve just lost about 90 pounds, I’m 6’3″, and I have another 2 inches to play with!

    If you’re fat and want a bigger dick, lose weight!

  • chuck69

    Damn. That just means I am not just bigger than average but I am gianormous! Thank you Jeebus.

  • Reid Condit

    I like to think I’m just an average guy and now this study confirms it!

  • Stenar

    I don’t know, 95% of the guys I’ve been with have been 7-8″ or bigger. I was always surprised because mine isn’t that big.

  • honupila

    @Tackle: Only insecure men lie.

Comments are closed.