Gay men, are you pining for a straight women to sip cosmos with while bitching about the guys in her life?
Do you want nothing more than to take a girl shopping for clothes then treat her to a mani/pedi before going back to her apartment, cracking open a bottle of rose, and watching super 0ld episodes of Will & Grace together?
Then have we got the site for you!
Related: Andy Cohen Schools Straight Women On Using The Phrase “My Gays”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Every Girl Needs a Gay is a new social media website that aims to connect heterosexual women with gay men who can help them live out their passe Sex And The City bullshit fantasies.
According to the company’s website, “Every Girl Needs a Gay is the first friend finder of its kind. We are an online matchmaking service for those seeking their GBF.”
The company was founded by self-proclaimed “consummate artist, accomplished web designer and developer, entrepreneur and digital marketing expert” Gini Garbick, who seems to believe she invented the concept of a fag hag.
“I knew it was imperative that I get this right,” Garbick said in a statement. “Being the first brings a great deal of responsibility. There is no room for error.”
Related: “I’m Not Your Gay Best Friend!” Vlogger Tells All Straight Women
In addition to being a social media website, Every Girl Needs a Gay also offers an e-newsletter, which it calls, wait for it, “CHER!”
“We’re calling our eNewsletter ‘CHER!'” the website reads. “Timeless, original, and FABULOUS. Her essence is an adjective that says it ALL!”
Membership to the site ranges from $9.99 to $19.99 per month depending on which level of membership you purchase. That’s right, fellas, you have to pay to be treated like a straight woman’s puppy that follows her around everywhere she goes, reassuring her that you’ll never break her heart the way that last jerk she dated did, and then being sure to get the hell out of the way when her Prince Charming finally does come along to sweep her off her feet.
So what’s in it for you?
Don’t ask.
Marky
Hey ladies, go fuck your straight guys. Thanks and goodnight.
martinbakman
Straight women, do you really need a gay best friend?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnvgq8STMGM
petensfo
Seriously…. I’m exhausted just thinking about this.
No, thanks.
Captain Obvious
The best part is when you step out of line by speaking to one of her friends who addressed you and not her or have a thought of your own that isn’t in line with hers. Watch out. The backstabbing and drama will begin.
I always cringe when I see guys who can actually put up with that nonsense. The only women I’ve ever found to be good friends are lesbians. I’m sure there are straight women out there who aren’t trying to treat gay men like puppies but they seem to be few and far between thanks to television.
Sukhrajah
Now, hmmmm, someone/something at Queerty has their ‘shade’ factor turned to ‘Elm Tree at Sunset’ levels. The two ‘related’ articles are aptly “I’m not your gay best friend…” and “An Ode to Every Gay Best Friend”.
Haha. Thank your for summarizing our collective thoughts.
Sukhrajah
@Captain Obvious: Ohhhhh no, Sister Mister! Not a chance! Why put up with that mess to begin with considering that the poor fool has nothing to gain in that situation to begin with. The straight female friends that I have all have met me as a person prior to knowing my sexual identity. Meet me first, and then, when relevant – get to know me better. I am not ashamed of who I am, just find privacy and discretion to be a pleasurable and intelligent part of who and what I am. When relevant, I openly disclose it, and pride myself on being happy, and proud of who and what I am, was, and will become. Back to the topic – that translates to them meeting me as the multifaceted man that I am first – and it tends to set the tone for our relationship going forward. Yes, we do discuss men from time to time, but it is often asked in the “From a Guy’s perspective – what do you think?” which allows me usually to be brief and/or aloof. Sure, I have run into those that say “Ohhh, gurl – what do you think of so and so…” and it is a matter of sussing that person out – are they just atrocious – or are they really an ally with an over enthusiastic greeting? The course of the conversation will divulge that. If you enjoy flirting with women – then it is a fun conversation. If you enjoy talking to women – it is always one that reaffirms your connection to humanity. If you enjoy seeing how someone else thinks – it will open your mind to a new ocean of thought. If you enjoy a differing perspective – all of the above will apply. Don’t count out the straight girls. They are evolving – just as everyone else is. We have a lot in common, our communities – and if genuinely based on freindship – and not this bubbled, pretended world of superficiality (which both of our communities suffer from) as exemplified by this site – we can really find some great friends that might help us broaden our horizons and deal with some of the real problems affecting us individually (with freshened perspectives) but also collectively as we advance each others views and rights together. Ultimately we could always use an ally – and some of these women are as natural an ally as we are going to get.
onthemark
Or see the comic strip, “The Meaning of Lila,” where Lila’s gay best friend Boyd is as shallow as she is. But at least they’re amusing.
Captain Obvious
@Sukhrajah: I honestly never thought of it that way. I never really thought to keep it to myself for a while, I might have to try that sometime. Just recently I had a girl I just met try to set me up with her friend 5 seconds after finding out I was gay which was beyond awkward. On the other hand I usually end up telling them because they want to date me so I just kind of blurt it out so they know why I’m not reciprocating. I might have to look harder.
Ogre Magi
Sounds like a real life version of this
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/1046513/
Brian
By feminizing themselves, gay-identifying men have become the crutches of women.