That's so Tay-Tay

New Taylor Swift video strongly implies she’s utterly, completely lost her damn mind

There are few musical bridges so embarrassing they make you want to swaddle yourself in fuzzy warm blankets and await the arrival of autumn or atomic fallout. But Taylor Swift’s new single “Look What You Made Me Do” manages this stunningly rare feat by fully committing to the line: “I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh — because she’s dead.”

Her new song also bravely forgoes any pretense of a chorus in lieu of tinkly Cosco keyboard handclaps and a rigorously artless Right Said Fred sample, intermittently including an electronic squelch that sounds like a Speak N’ Spell primly belching after eating some bad chicken.

Related: The Internet is real mad at Taylor Swift for sampling Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” in new song

Impossible to say what sort of track she was ultimately hoping to make with the effort.

None of these cold hard facts are successfully eclipsed by the new music video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” an opulent and expensive-looking affair that features Swift in a variety of wigs, some monster makeup, a studded leather biker jacket, a dominatrix’s catsuit, and being very bitchy indeed in a bathtub filled with so many riches. That’s so Tay-Tay.

There are other various pop-Goth trappings by way of Hot Topic dead stock like slithery CGI snakes and not particularly terrifying vampire bats that will make not succeed in making you scream. So you’ll want to keep an eye for those.

In short, it’s a full-throttle, in-your-face kook attack that’s entertaining and self-indulgent enough, so why don’t you go ahead and have a look.

That song, tho.

Watch:

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29 Comments

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    Found this gem on the usually cool ass crowd on Stereogum:

    “She’s still conveniently skating around the not saying anything about Trump/Breitbart/Aryan dream girl status or anything that could alienate her fan base.?”


    Jesusfückingchrist. Peak SJW callout culture idiocy there. And if she +did* say something it wouldn’t be the right thing or have the right tone or she’d be demonised as hijacking the issue or whitesplaining and of insincerity of the highest PR motivated order.

    I’ve always hated her music and image but I find the currently tres fashionable shark frenzy/ dogpile on her quite nauseating and I’ll always be forbthe underdog, even the rich bitch.

    • jsmu

      Oh please. Rich bitch is no kind of underdog in the stupidest of tweakedout fantasies. Gurl is just another spineless whore who thinks only of $$$$$$$$$. Your polysyllables and ‘analysis’ are utterly wasted on such a Millennial Moron ‘Musician.’

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    I’ll just interrupt my self-imposed anti-swift moratorium to make the innocent observation that that face is not gonna age well — you can already see the emerging hardness and angularity in her features. Okay cape back on.

    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      ^ meant moratorium on anti-Swift..I think..I’m confused (not as confused as that chorus tho)

  • jjose712

    I couldn’t care less if Derek de Koff doesn’t like. The song is infectious and the video is funny (and yes, very expensive).
    I like the fact that she can’t breath without people being offended, fortunatelly she doesn’t mind because the haters gonna hate

    • spiffy

      Don’t you mean the haters gonna hate (hate, hate, ,hate, hate)?

      (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

    • DeserTBoB

      STFU. This instant.

    • jsmu

      “Can’t breath?” Little too much of whatever your drug du jour is, honey.

  • spiffy

    This is still a big NUPE.

    She’s still the pumpkin spice latte of pop music.

    • DeserTBoB

      Sean Spicer might take umbrage at that apt description

    • jsmu

      So true–and such an apt comparison to the non-quality of Starf*cks :)

  • DeserTBoB

    “Taylor the Swifty”…lol!! Millennial moron music, always has been
    I’m soooooo glad I don’t anything to do with “gay nightlife” anymore…so I can completely avoid pap like hers AND her tweeked out brain dead followers.

    • jsmu

      MMM. Millennial moron music. I like it. :)

  • david-tullis

    I have never understood why people like Taylor Swift. There is absolutely nothing about her or her music that appeals to me.

    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      Welcome

    • jsmu

      Stenar–Only you, so far :)

  • skilos

    If she totally lost her mind……she didn’t lose much.

  • dean089

    I’ve been saying this for a while, but she seriously needs to get over herself. “Look what you made me do.” Sorry, child, but nobody makes you do anything. That’s just a cop-out phrase that people like to say in order to shirk personal responsibility or avoid admitting to bad decisions. When (if?) you grow up you’ll learn that. Stop whining and, seriously, stop complaining about drama while at the same time constantly cultivating it.

  • mhoffman953

    I think we’re all sick of these people. Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, etc. they’re all annoying

  • Donston

    I’m not a Swift hater. I probably avoid pop culture too much to hate any of these super famous, talked about all the time celebs, though I find most of these pop stars grating when I pay attention. Not feeling the song. I do like her Red album. The only one I return to.

  • broadshoulder

    I still don’t like her

  • Jack Meoff

    Why are people so obsessed with this little twit? I have nothing against her really but I am sure as hell sick to death of hearing about her.

  • Luna1979

    Oh no she got stuck on repeat! Slap her upside the head and see if any music comes out.

  • dubstepskater94

    Ok… can she sing a song that doesn’t pretty much scream “You left me and I’m gonna be bitter and write a song about how I was perfect and you’re a horrible person”?

    I will give her props though, the video was actually pretty interesting (just not the lyrics).

  • girldownunder

    I’m not really a pop music fan, in general, but I do happen to see the occasional music vid & hear the occasional song. Even when it’s a group or person I do listen to, I’m not as incredibly invested as some are to this story. It’s like fan-dom, in reverse. Why?

    I’m not sure why this particular girl elicits such strong animosity? There are a lot of “artists” whom I feel would fall into the “a bit into themselves” & maybe a tad superficial– but that describes a lot of people, in all walks of life.

    I think this is just, “any press is good press”, again. She’s no worse or different than most. Imho.

    • broadshoulder

      because if you don’t…..she’ll get her lawyers onto you…

  • He BGB

    Another pop singer who can come up with a catchy hook and create a catchy song. Nothing deep here, just fluff. Guess she’s running out of ideas. So she goes for a Thriller ripoff in her Sgt. Peppers phase. Enuf time has passed that millenials haven’t heard of Thriller and they think she’s clever?

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