Not since the Charmin bears have we felt so squicky about a toilet paper ad.
A new 15-second TV spot for Cottonelle promotes (ahem) “Down there care” by stating, “Today you meet the parents! So before they sit you down, give your booty a confidence boost with cleaning ripples that remove more at once for a superior clean and make you feel like the kind of guy he takes home to mother.”
At the end of the commercial, the same-sex couple smiles lovingly at one another, as if the taller one is proud of his shorter companion for properly cleaning his hind-quarters before meeting ma and pa.
Related: Amazon is selling Trump’s tweets as toilet paper & you need some now
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
We’re always happy to see gay couples in ads, and it’s great to be well-groomed and nicely dressed when meeting a significant other’s parents, but has anyone in a stressful, non-sexual situation ever really thought, Oh great, now I can’t feel confident meeting someone’s parents because of my butt?
No, no they have not.
Thankfully, Cottonelle has also released a heterosexual version of the same ad to let everyone know that it’s not just gay men who should feel self-conscious about an untidy fanny.
It’s also cool that the toilet paper brand has been batting away homophobes on Twitter who dislike their new ad for featuring a same-sex couple.
Hi Kenny, thanks for reaching out. No matter a person’s orientation, gender, or anything else, being clean impacts everyone. Here at Cottonelle Brand, diversity is embraced in all aspects and we are proud to share a commercial that is representative of that.
— Cottonelle (@cottonelle) February 19, 2019
Being clean impacts everyone, and it’s an important step to feeling your best. Here at Cottonelle Brand, diversity is embraced in all aspects and we are proud to share a commercial that is representative of that. Thank you for reaching out.
— Cottonelle (@cottonelle) February 22, 2019
We haven’t been this tickled yet disconcerted by an ad since the Gain laundry detergent ad showing a hunky dad and his young boys sniffing dad’s jockstrap.
And yet, we love it when ads nonchalantly include gay couples. A handful of big brands did this for Valentine’s Day 2017. Apple also featured a same-sex wedding in a 2018 Australian ad shortly after the island continent legalized marriage equality.
Brian
They’re not wrong. If there’s a medical emergency that results in your pants having to come off, you don’t want the parents to see skidmarks.
@HarryB
As for me there is no difference between gay and straight couples. Everyone should want clean butts when meeting boyfriend’s (girlfriend’s) parents
Kieran
There are so many commercials where same sex couples could be featured……buying a new home or car, going on a family vacation cruise. Figures they’d use a gay couple for a “wiping your ass” commercial.
Juanjo
Oh honey, grow up. You’d be screaming your tits off all upset if it were a family vacation advert or buying a car or house, just as you are now.
Brian
It’s Charmin. Pretty sure they don’t also sell family vacation cruises.
Esscourt
I would think it would suit the commercial if gay men were used for moist fanny wipes. Dry paper leaves some of the fecal matter behind (no pun intended), if you know what I’m sayin’.
Kangol
Fanny wipes destroy the environment.
Just say no to fanny/wet wipes!
whatsaywhat
They’re also bad for your ass. Americans need to get into bidets.
Will L
I quit buying Cottonelle (and all Kimberly-Clark products) in the 90’s when they ran a borderline vulgar ad. When I emailed them about it, they responded that they didn’t see anything wrong with the ad. I realized then that my values did not quite line up with theirs. They get into scat humor so this doesn’t surprise me.
swamp bubble
Wow, you seem real fun.
Chrisk
Oh girl. did they offend your fine prudish values?
nm4047
so your contact justified in their advertising mind the result they were paying for.
Creamsicle
So which virtuous and upstanding toilet paper brand do you go with now? And do people applaud the politics of your toilet paper choice when they see that you’re better than the degenerates who use Cottonelle?
PinkoOfTheGange
E mail in the 90’s wow early adopter.
Greg
Cottonelle sells ass wiping products. Their products are for your shit. What do you want them to talk about? It probably wasn’t even “scat humor”. It was probably what you thought was scat humor.
Doug
I think this ad is kind of cute, and I like the fact that they took a gay angle. I don’t think they meant to say anything particular about gay sex just because it’s about wiping your ass.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Always stay squeaky clean down there, one never knows when company may drop in!
:-p
evanxx
Heterosexuals already have 99.9% of the TV commercials about them, yet they begrudge ONE little TP ad with a gay couple?? LGBTQ people make up 8.1% of the American population, according to Gallup Polls, but they are NOT getting a proportional representation in TV ads. Besides, we all know that homophobes just drag their butts across the carpet anyway.
[email protected]
Whilst we chatter over the cuteness of clean butts, Cottonelle is a Koch owned entity–yes, the people who are trying to destroy democracy and make it safe for them to own the whole country if not the world. The irony of their wanting to own the whole world is that they’ll destroy it before they own it–they’re not just fossil fuel junkies, they’re the dirtiest, filthiest fossil fuel junkies–fossil fuel so dirty that no one else wanted to try to use it. It’s OK for the Koch’s however, but they’ll push the cost of dirty energy onto the citizens…walking off with a cool fortune near $100 billion
Buy someone else’s TP, even if you think the commercial is cute.
Kangol
Thank you. Cottonelle = Koch brothers, so clean your tuches with other toilet tissue (and not environmentally destructive fanny wipes!)
PinkoOfTheGange
No it isn’t; It is owned by 3 equity firms.
here are the GP (Koch) home products:
Angel Soft toilet paper
Quilted Northern toilet paper
Soft ‘n Gentle toilet paper
Brawny paper towels
Dixie plates, bowls, napkins and cups
Mardi Gras napkins and towels
Sparkle napkins
Vanity fair napkins
Zee napkins
Curtispsf
I just saw a Charmin Ad.” “Dad” says I’m not gonna pick it up”, referring to Junior’s underwear in front of a toilet. Mom also says “I’m not gonna pick it up” so Junior picks up the pair of red undies, turns around and starts twerking his butt saying “I got a clean butt, I got a clean butt” Uh huh, Uh huh. I laughed so hard I sprayed the TV set with a cup of coffee I was drinking at the time.
nitejonboy
Actually the kiddo bear was like “ cause my heinies clean, oh yeah I’m Charmin clean ! “, if we would have been dancing around saying “ I’ve got a clean butt I got a clean butt ! “ then I would’ve laughed my ass off
Davidparacka
Has anyone ever used cottonelle or Charmin? It’s like wiping yourself with a blanket. I’ll take Scott tissue any day thanks!
Greg
Well you’re not supposed to use the entire roll for one wipe.
Ashke113
@nitejonboy – thanks alot, now I have that damn song stuck in my head. But I gues it’s better than having Baby Shark ?????
Black Pegasus
I wouldn’t mind at all if more HETEROSEXUAL men were targeted for clean butt ads. They are by far the nastiest sons of cows on the planet. Pick any random straight guy off the street and I guarantee you their butts will have moist shtt just sitting on top of their holes.
Gay men have their share of nasties too but the straights own this category.
nitejonboy
Spend a lot of time studying straight men’s shitty holes do you ?
nm4047
if adult needs an advert to tell them this, it’s going to be a lonely life for them
Kangol
Uh, ask straight women married to a good number of men how lonely those men who don’t know how to wipe their behinds are.
just me
nothing works like a butt squirter or wet ones…
surreal33
I don’t get it? It’s like a contingent gay men like being marginalized. This is part of laundry list of why gay men will continue to be fodder.
Gary Q VV
It’s just another example of tasteless commercials that flood television and cable. I’m thankful for the inclusion of a same-sex couple, I believe that we, the LGBTQ community, should appreciate corporate contributions to our community’s movement of freedoms.
GayEGO
Why of course! Lick those butts clean! :>)
queerty02
Appreciate the effort to be inclusive @ Cottonelle, but this is ridiculous. No one needs to randomly use toilet paper before meeting someone…. like wtf…….. gay ppl arent just shitting themselves out of nowhere.
Greg
It is ridiculous. But it seems all ideas have been used. So, it’s either this ridiculous situation to promote their TP, or an old rock song to sell their product.