Just when we thought the mainstream media had fished out every angle on porn, Molly Young take a fresh look at throupledom for New York magazine’s sex issue with a profile of Jason, Adrian and Benjamine (nee Benny Morecock), the polyamorous founders of the porn site CockyBoys.com (NSFW)
In “He, He and He,” Young paints a picture of unconventional bliss that both defies convention and appears, quite honestly, as about as conventional as an evolving relationship can be: “Their throuplehood is more-or-less a permanent domestic arrangement,” she writes. “The three men work together, raise dogs together, sleep together, miss one another, collect art together, travel together, bring each other glasses of water, and, in general, exemplify a modern, adult relationship.”
Given their line of work, we sort of half-expect a lifestyle rife with sexual adventure and scandal. (“Well, I heard there was a midget and a barracuda!”) To hear about their union in such mundane terms leaves you wondering if there is a story at all.
“It is important, perhaps, that each pair within the throuple has a private bond: Jason and Adrian have their history, Jason and Benny work together, and Benny and Adrian are close in age. Benny tells me there is zero jealousy among the three… Sometimes there are pangs of jealousy over guys outside of the relationship. But that, Benny says, is rare.”
To dismiss these cocky boys with a condescending tut-tut misses the larger point: Adrian, Jason and Benjamine—a former Bumble and bumble stylist—are forging a new dynamic and, once again, thrusting gays into the forefront of what defines a relationship. If that gives some people pause, oh well. The French have been indulging in ménages à trois for centuries and it doesn’t seem to have sped up the demise of their culture.
Dixie Rect
Trash.
Persa
Beautiful.
What a great story.
Love is love.
#cockyboysrule
JK Smythson
I have seen these guys for the last few years at Fire Island, always holding hands and goofing off. I always wanted to go up and meet them. It was nice reading the NY Mag story, I found it and them inspiring.
Spike
To paraphrase Gore Vidal, if you want a long happy relationship with a partner, don’t have sex.
Check back with these guy in 5 years. It will be long over.
samwise
@Spike: Did Gore Vidal ever have a body like either of the guys in the picture?
Cam
Not exactly certain what the point of this article was. You act like this is something new. Threeway couples have been around forever….well at least the idea of them have been, the actual “Throuples” don’t seem to last very long.
Ogre Magi
@Dixie Rect: Successful trash! I would consider them role models!
Trash
@Dixie Rect: I agree. These guys are nothing but trash. Why can’t we have some nice stories of gay couples who are committed to eachother and don’t think with their d1cks 24/7? Porn wh0res are a dime a dozen.
Marv
These guys do not own Cocky Boys nor did they found it. It was founded by Derek Vineyard’s sugar daddy named Dean in LA. It was recently sold to a distribution company called Euro Media – a company that owes thousands of dollars to studios like $250K to Bel-Ami.
Tylertime
Oh Queerty, you aren’t even smart enough to mine your archive of stories. The couple you portray above is a mess and will split just like the couple you chronicled a couple years ago.
http://www.queerty.com/is-this-throuple-destined-for-happiness-or-is-a-3-way-relationship-doomed-20090916/
The couple back in 2010 tried to defend their threesome and it ended with the Justin guy turning to steroids and abusing them to help boost his self esteem. These kinds of relationships don’t work!
Kyle412
@samwise:
You are a shallow idiot. Gore Vidal didn’t need a body or to use sex because he had a brain and was a talented writer.
Andrew
It’s sad that others feel they have the right to judge someone else’s relationship; even worse when they don’t know them.
Good for them! I hope it is long and successful.
Whatever
@Andrew: Oh, please! THEY are the ones openly disscussing their joke of a “relationship” which means fair game when it comes to judging them.
Andrew
So what if they are opening discussing their relationship? Just b/c you see 15min doesn’t mean you know them. I mean really, is there nothing more important than judging people you don’t know?
samwise
@Kyle412: Gore Vidal once said: “I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.”
samwise
Some people are so insecure with their own relationship with one other person, they feel the need to attack other relationships. Pretty sad stuff.
William
@samwise: The only problem is, this isn’t a relationship. And never will be.
No wonder straights don’t take gays seriously when you have sick, immoral people like this being held up as something positive. And yet we fight for equal rights to marriage. What a joke.
Jacob
Trashy gay men in a relationship that’s going to fail. A relationship between 3 people is not actually a real relationship at all.
Guys who make and are in porn are sleazy, and most are practically homeless since you don’t make that much money at all in it.
Queerty these guys and gay men DO NOT thrust into the forefront of what defines a relationship, as you wrote in the article the French have been engaging in open relationships between multiple people for centuries. Also what’s called polyamory is nothing more than another new PC name for an open relationship.
Ruhlmann
French culture didn’t fall apart because the third person always went home eventualy.
I was once asked by someone who I was very attracted to to join him and his lover in a situation like this. I found the partner not to my liking on any level, although this is not why I wouldn’t have considered it even for a moment. They stopped speaking to me eventualy because I wouldn’t join in even for just sex. They are both dead now.
This isn’t a relationship, it’s a prolonged sexual dalliance.
Jacob
I agree with you Trash. The way pr0n guys on here are idolized is boring.
DrewSF
@ Ogre Magi-If these guys are your definition of success or role models you’re an idiot.
JK Smythson
Have any of you judging this only a “prolonged sexual dalliance” even read the New York Mag feature this story is pulled from? I think you would find it is not that. Also, why are all you self hating queers always so worried about “straights don’t take gays seriously”. Give me a break. Why should we take THEM seriously….with their multiple marriages,broken homes with Kids, and endless moralizing.
MikeNYC
JK-I read the NY Mag article about them, they’re still trash, and their “relationship” is a joke and won’t last at all just like the 3 way relationship from 2009 someone linked to.
I’m a lot older and I have NEVER seen a relationship between 3 or even 4 people last or work out in the long run.
Ramon H.
*YAWN* Guys in porn who think that they’re in an actual LOL “relationship” between 3 people. I’m sure they all are cheating on each other, or lying to each other as that’s usually what happens in these types of configurations of people who like to pretend they’re in an actual relationship.
Belize
@William: “The only problem is, this isn’t a relationship. And never will be”
Relationship – (noun)the state of being related or interrelated. (Merriam Webster)
Whether or not these three conform to your childish idea of what a relationship is, it would appear that lexicographers disagree with you. Don’t you just hate it when it is so easy to dismiss your self righteousness as mere stupidity? It’s embarrassing, I know. But I’m sure you’ll get over it.
“No wonder straights don’t take gays seriously when you have sick, immoral people like this being held up as something positive. And yet we fight for equal rights to marriage. What a joke.”
LOL. And yet another stupid comment from you. A lot of straights don’t take gays seriously because a lot of members of the LGBT are fond of practicing double-standards. They don’t want other people to judge them because those people don’t know what they’re going through and yet they would be so eager to judge other people whenever they get the chance to.
Also, if you even bothered to read the article, you would know that what is being held positive is not the relationship but the challenge to convention–something that “seeking equal rights to marriage” also fall under.
Speaking of which, maybe you should abstain from fighting that right. I don’t like fighting for my rights in line with idiots. People like you do nothing but ruin our cause. Go back to knitting a sweater or whatever it is you dinosaurs do while the young ones fight for the future.
@Jacob: “The way pr0n guys on here are idolized is boring.”
I’m not surprised you would agree with stupidity. You can’t even spell a word as simple as “porn” right. LOL.
@MikeNYC: “I’m a lot older and I have NEVER seen a relationship between 3 or even 4 people last or work out in the long run.”
Maybe it’s time to move out of that hick town you live in, grandma.
Analog
They seem happy, to me.
I hope it lasts for their lifetimes – but even if it doesn’t, what’s important is that they’re happy now, no?
Good luck to them.
The new gay puritans will always disapprove…
Triple S
They may be trash.
But even trash deserve to have a happy relationship, regardless of what form it’s in.
If it lasts, it lasts, and I hope they have a happy life together.
If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t
Remy
“The need to find another human being to share one’s life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I am so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.”- Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Edgar
@Belize: You are the worst thing ever.
Eddie
@Belize: Congratulations. You said all what I wanted to put here. I agree with you. Thanks.
Jay
Belize get with the times people spell porn “pr0n” especially on sites like queerty where words are censored. You’re the only one who is out of touch with reality grandma.
Tom
Jesus, when did the gays become so fucking conservative and morally prurient?
David1950
Tom, You can blame “Gay Marriage” for that!
Derek
@Jay: Point and match
hector
and Queerty’s gift to the rightwing just keeps on giving.
The Real Mike in Asheville
@Kyle412: Very true, but, in fact, Gore Vidal DID have one of those beautiful body’s of youth — just google Vidal images, many to be found.
Spike
@samwise: Actually there are plenty of pictures of him when he was younger, good looking young guy, don’t know about his body given he didn’t do porn. My question to you is, to these guys have a brain, one what will outlast their beautiful body’s of youth? Do you? Unlikely based on your post.
londonbridge
Gore Vidal did have a “body” at one time. Beauty fades babe. As for the three way boys, whatever floats your boat. Just be honest about it and admit there’s is something lacking in each for the other.
jerald
@David1950: Sadly, I tend to agree. There seems to be a trade off for some. If we get hitched, move to suburbia, raise Golden Labradors, wear cuffed trousers, and send our adopted babies to their bougie pre-schools maybe then they’ll accept us. No deal. If we have to become ‘them’ in exchange for marriage equality then have we really gained anything? No deal. I want my relationships and marriage and it’s none of you sanctimonious folks’ business how I handle it from there. Don’t wanna have a 3 way? Don’t have one…just watch it on xtube…and get off your pulpits.
samwise
@William: Who are you to say what is or isn’t a relationship? And what straights are you talking about? Plenty of straight support gay marriage. The shift in polls since the 80s and 90s demonstrate that. I have news for you, the straights you speak are of the religious variety. Nothing will change their minds.
Cam
@Tylertime:
I remember that article, they were so sanctimonious about it was the part that put me off. Didn’t realize they had broken up so quickly.
JK Smythson
@Belize: BRAVO!!! YOU Nailed it! I find the people who are so qucik to say “it will never last” or “its not a relationship” are most likely the ones who are NOT in a relationship…or better yet…not happy. Who ever is shouting the loudest about something not be right or moral is the usually the one doing it…..see Ted Haggard, Mark Folly, and Lindsey Graham.
Please
This will never last. PERIOD. This is NO relationship, they’re just calling it that to make excuses for not being able to keep their d1cks in their pants and non-ability to commit to one person. If they want to have three-ways, that’s their choice, but don’t call this a relationship when it isn’t. And this will defintely end in tears with someone getting their feelings hurt because they feel left out.
Cam
@JK Smythson:
That is a silly comment. Comparing Ted Haggard to people making a judgement call based on their own experience is sad.
I really have no judgement on how well this couple gets along etc… all I know is that whenever I hear of a couple that has “Opened Up” it usually means “Let the countdown to break-up begin”. That said, I do know a three way couple that has been together around 5 years, but they seem to alternate, two of them seem closer to each other for a period of time and then it switches. Sort of like a series of mini break-ups.
Chaboy
They work in porn and they are in a 3 way “relationship”. It’s obvious these guys think with their dicks and not their brains and hearts. Obviously, something went wrong in their younger years that makes them starved for attention…porn, promoting their “relationship” in the press are ways to validate not getting the attention they needed earlier in life. As Tylertime referenced above using that other threesome as an example it won’t last. They can take all the dicks they want but it won’t make up for what is truly missing…self esteem.
Analog
@Please: “This is NO relationship, they’re just calling it that…”
All relationships are “just called” that. It’s a description. The definition of relationship isn’t dependent on the duration of the union or the level of commitment. There are zillions of relationships all over the world that last for weeks or months or a couple of years… they’re still “relationships”.
There are marriages of convenience, there are relationships which are non-sexual and there are relationships which are entirely sexual – they’re all still “relationships”.
This is a relationship. It doesn’t matter how long it lasts or what its dynamic is, it’s still a relationship.
Fucking hell, what a barrage of depressing small-minded conservative crap this is…
Analog
@Chaboy: “It’s obvious these guys think with their dicks and not their brains and hearts.”
I’m pretty sure they think with their brains, dear.
(the heart is for pumping blood btw, pls don’t try and think with it) 🙂
Analog
Unconventional relationships? NOOOOO!!!!!
Porn stars? NOOOOO!!!!
WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?
Selrah
@Remy: +1 to you.
samwise
@Please: “If they want to have three-ways, that’s their choice”
So glad there is someone here to let us what is and what isn’t a choice.
Chase
Those three guys do not own Cocky Boys and they did not start the company. CockyBoys was started by gay porn star and former Falcon Exclusive Derek Vineyard who convinced his sugar daddy, an attorney named Dean in LA, to bank roll it.
CockyBoys was recently sold to a gay DVD distribution company based in NY called Euro Media, the two former partners of EuroBoy Video. To date Euro Media owes thousands of dollars to several gay studios like Saytr Films and they are rumored to owe more than $250K to Bel-Ami.
Damon
As usual queerty is glorifying porn guys and writing about how they’re in a 3 way, that this is an actual relationship when it is not at all, and the 3 way is going to last forever! *facepalm*
Daez
If you guys would take the time to read over your comments and then go to a right wing blog and read over the comments about gay people in relationships you would realize how incredibly stupid you all sound.
I, for one, am so sick of others who feel the need to tell others where they can put their hearts and their dicks out of nothing more than a need to feel morally superior. You are not morally superior, so enough with the conservative bull shit and judgement.
Chuck
A threesome that engages with people outside of their relationship as well? This is why people don’t take us seriously.
JK Smythson
@Daez: I cant agree more! Some many people freaking out that this is Never going to last or Not last for ever. Maybe it is BECAUSE they do porn that they have no issue with sex. I would say this relationship is quit an accomplishment. The two of them have been together for 14 years and the three for 4 years. How many of you screaming “it will never last” can say the same?
Adam
@Daez-People like you and the 3 fools in the article are why they hate us.
Bryan
I’m always gonna be skeptical about relationships like this, but err, if they’re happy and make it work, good for them. I’d be(pleasantly) surprised if they last long though. Besides the fact that they’re in porn which is probably not a healthy breeding ground for relationships, 3ways like this have waayy to many complications.
Analog
@Adam: If “they” hate “us” because of three guys who are in a relationship then “they” really aren’t worth worrying about, are they?
Think about it…
(the people on here who are so concerned about what judgmental straight prudes think about us may as well skip back into the closet)
Zane
When did the gay community become so sex-phobic and close minded? As long as there’s consent from all parties, there’s nothing wrong with polyamory.
samwise
I get the feeling that people complaining about a three-way are the same people who can’t handle a two-way for themselves.
Drew
Zane-Polyamory is just another word for an open relationship. If people want to do this I’m fine with it but I’m not going to pretend that they’re actually in a real relationship, or think that their relationship is going to last at all.
I’ve been with a partner for decades and these guys won’t last that long or even half that time at all.
SoletStar
Seriously, every comment on here against this relationship could be and IS used against gay relationships. I’m thinking there is a troll using different handles on this story. No wayyy can there be so many closed minded gay dudes. You’re gay. You’re hardly qualified to tell people how to run their lives and dictate what kind of relationship they should have.
Analog
@SoletStar: Indeed. Or what is a “real relationships”. Either it’s one troll using multiple identities or there are some really fucking dumb gay people out there. 🙁
Danny
Is that the same Adrian from the movie Showboys?
Rob
@Analog: No sweetie, it’s just that some of us have morals and standards. BTW, I’d think it was just as trashy and stupid if it was a straight couple. These things will ALWAYS end in tears because someone ends up feeling left out.
Analog
@Rob: “Standards are fine and dandy, but hot cock is hot cock” – Dorothy Parker 🙂
Analog
I don’t know about you guys, but I think anyone who engages in sexual activity that I personally wouldn’t is both immoral and trashy.
Why can’t they just be conventional???
*sad face*
Chuck
@SoletStar: Didn’t anyone tell you? You don’t have to be a two-bit slut to be in a gay relationship. That’s why people are so against gay relationships. Because they assume that we sleep with anyone and anything, and have no meaningful one-on-one relationships.
Those of us who are in monogamous relationships are the ones harmed by your continuation of that stereotype.
Analog
@Chuck: Yeah, because straight people don’t sleep around, do they?
People who are against us because many of us have multiple partners will be against us whatever, because… and let me break this to you gently: people who are that bothered by what others do sexually are IDIOTS.
Thankfully, they’re a minority, because most people are too busy getting on with their own lives to worry about what others are doing in theirs.
The irony of all the gay men in here arguing that straight people hate us because of what we do sexually, is that you’re just the other side of that coin. You’re as bad as the minority of straight people who judge us as immoral because of what many of us do sexually.
Sorry, but there’s no doubt about that. It’s because of judgmental fools and moral crusaders that we became ostracised in the first place.
What you’re doing by trying to placate those judgmental moral crusaders is blaming the victim.
Not that they’re victims, they look incredibly happy – but if any straight people thought they could stick their noses into the private or sexual lives of gay people and tell them how to conduct themselves, one would hope most gay people would immediately realise that they have no right to do that.
It’s a little disconcerting to see one or two gay people are right behind them, pitchforks in hand.
So, you’re in a monogamous relationship? There are enough unhappy monogamous relationships in the world for anyone with half a brain to realise that being in one isn’t in itself a good or noble thing. Are you HAPPILY in a monogamous relationship? And is your partner happy? That’s the main thing. And if so, then good for you. Why not let others choose their own path to happiness and stop worrying about judgmental straight people who spend their lives caring about what others do in bed? x
Analog
@Rob: I’d rather be “trash” than a snob, sweetie. :p
Analog
Three men having lots of sex with each other and enjoying their lives???
This is why we have no rights!
*angry face*
Divigars
I know two threesomes one has lasted 15 years and another just over 20 so it can work rare but works for some. Most 2 people relationships don’t last or is everyone still with the first person they were ever with let alone second etc. on here be you gay, straight or bi lol….
Stakon1
@Chuck: Shut up you christian looney. I cab smell that sick BUY BULL you read from your post. Hope you know my boyfriend and I use a cross as a dildo, just to stick it ti your imaginary Jesus. Oh, and your religion doesnt exist, its a made up fairy tale
Bert
Haaha seeing all these bigots angry at this relationship makes me smile. Yup, people today can and do whatever makes them happy and they will continue to do so. May the ghetto thugs on here who ‘disapprove’ get a heart attack from how miserable that makes them lol
Chuck
@Analog: Are they idiots? Probably. I won’t deny that.
But you think they’re a minority?
“The majority of Americans (76% to 80%) identify themselves as Protestants or Catholics, accounting for 51% and 25% of the population respectively, according to one survey by Trinity College.[4]”
I know it’s easy to live in your own little world where everything is happy and people don’t hate you, but that’s not the reality out here in the rest of America where most of us Americans live.
Maybe ‘slut’ was a bit harsh, but in general I don’t really judge these types of relationships. I’m just pointing out that it’s people with this mentality who are the loudest and tend to (detrimentally) serve as the face of the gay community. I honestly find something in your tone and in all of your posts (especially the ones in which you attack our fight for gay marriage) that seems to idolize this idea of having sex with anyone and as many people as possible without getting into any type of commitment. Well, that’s you, and if that’s the way you want to live, go ahead, but don’t try to tell all gay people that they should be like that.
Yes, you can’t make generalizations about a whole sexual orientation. Not all heterosexuals are monogamous, in happy relationships, etc. Not all homosexuals are polyamorous or irresponsible, etc.
No one is saying they are. We’re just trying to undo the damage that you’ve put upon the rest of the gay community with your stubborn attitudes and selfish behavior, so we’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak for us.
MJ (different from the other one)
If it works for them, it works. if not, oh well. some people are capable of maintaining a relationship between more than two people , but the keyword is SOME. it obviously doesn’t work for everyone else. I know it wouldn’t for me though, because my ass is selfish. I. Do. Not. Share.
Eddie
Our society isn’t based on open relationship/polyamori and those who are in it, unless they live in a gay ghetto, will allways be seeing as pervs. If people have issues about gay marriage ( a couple ) we can imagine what they think about it. Even gays don’t suport ‘ open relationship ‘ at all. As for me I think it doesn’t work.
The Bony Man
The judgementalism and puritanism of people on this board is astounding. Why would these relationships ever be “immoral”? If all sides agree, then how is there a problem. Mind your own business. I am personally familiar with several couples, straight and gay, who are in three (and sometimes more) way relationships. One of them has been together several years now. They are very happy and perfectly normal (whatever that’s supposed to mean). I myself have participated in polyamorous relationships and been very happy in them. The last one ended only due to two members moving away. Your opinions on it matter not at all. it took removing the shackles of society’s idea of “immoral” relationships to legitimize gay relationships. This is just another petal in the lotus of true liberty.
Ruhlmann
@The Bony Man: We get it, you’re Thoroughly Modern Millie and you’re into spit roasts. Maybe it’s just old fashioned healthy synicism and experience without judgement or puritanism. It’s funny that in 56 years of life, living on three continents and six countries I have run into this situation once (Vancouver) and it ended in violence and years of litigation,yet a few here know “several” throuples of various gender configurations. I smell steaming piles of bullshit. Mind your own business? These guys put their loving commitment in a magazine which opens them up to discusion. You have “participated” in polyamorous relationships? Good for you….where are your polyamorous lovers now, oh sorry they moved you said. Did they move away together or to two different places? A serious committed relationship falls apart because two of them move away? Did they tell you they were moving?
Your country hasn’t actually legitimized gay relationships. When your federal government does this and all the states fall into line with it you can make this statement. Accepting and expecting the acceptance of these “relationships” as part and parcel of the LGBT struggle is going to lose you the moderate allies you need desperately in the theocracy you live in.
“This is just another petal in the lotus of true liberty.” Seriously? I say shit like this when I’m half in the bag and want to get people laughing. Thanks for the chuckles, if nothing else.
The Bony Man
@Ruhlmann: We get it, you’re thoroughly jaded and untrusting of people. That’s great if it works for you, but pointing out flaws in another person’s relationship is just tacky. And yes, my recent poly relationship ended, because I and one of our partners are moving. The other one has been offered to move with, but it was fairly recent, and he has a life here he doesn’t want to leave. It’s not about lack of love, it’s about life and priorities. And yes, we all know that moving is occurring, you sanctimonious jerk. Thanks for making me feel so very good about leaving one of my best friends behind! This is a recent move, so it still hurts. Ass…
And so my country hasn’t legitimized gay relationships? (which you didn’t even know anyway, since I never mentioned living in the USA) Why should that prevent me from living my life as I want? I am a huge advocate of gay rights in my area, why should who I sleep with effect that? and why shouldn’t we fight for greater rights like poly relationships? Why live like that?
And about the lotus comment, heaven forbid I wax a bit poetic, you jaded rudesby.
Ruhlmann
@The Bony Man: Please accept my apology for the comment concerning your waxing poetic. It was uncalled for, no excuses. I remain firm in everything else I stated for reasons instinctive and understood by the average human lover.