sausage party

Newly launched right-wing, hetero-only dating app has so many dudes that it’s basically Grindr

The Right Stuff seems to be featuring the wrong stuff for conservative heteros.

The Right Stuff, a new dating app for right-wingers, barely just launched and it apparently has so few women on it that it might as well be Grindr.

At least, that’s what’s being said by people who have left reviews for the app.

“It’s a good app but there’s no women?” one reviewer, Douglas Roop wrote in his review. “I don’t know, maybe the app is bugged? I tried switching my preference to men (just to make sure it was working) and loads of handsome men came up. I hope the developers fix this.”

Another review from gloriousgoon said, “As a gay man this is my jam. So many hot men.”

Another from darkling stated, “Love the app! There’s just one problem: all the women on here have been replaced with doughy middle-aged white guys.”

Yet another from Alutz3 said, “I guess it’s just men, then. Ok by me! Gay men: plenty of fish here.” Similarly, Mikecurtis wrote, “I can’t find any women on here!!! Changed preference to men just to find love. Now have boys we happy :}.”

A review from Hal Jordan wannabe stated, “Didn’t see any women on here. Would be great if there were women on here instead of a sausage party.”

One last review from Cody55555555555 declared, “This app is secretly designed to help closeted men meet other closeted men because absolutely zero women would ever download this app or be attracted to a Republican.”

It’s totally possible that these reviews are from trolls using homophobic mockery to clown straight right-wing dudes who want to find the Marjorie Taylor Greene of their dreams.

But the mockery is all the more delicious because the app’s creation was funded in part by gay conservative tech billionaire Peter Thiel. The app doesn’t actually allow people to seek same-sex matches, by the way. At least, not for now (though one of the app’s founders said it may allow them later on).

That means that Thiel and his gay friends can’t even use the app even though he invested $1.5 million into its creation. Though perhaps this is unsurprising considering that the 2020 national Republican party platform called same-sex marriage “an assault on the foundations of our society.”

Many of the app’s current reviews accurately state that you can only use the app if you’ve received an invite from another user or you invite three friends to join. While the app’s creators say this is to ensure that only high-quality conservatives join, it has seemingly left a lot of interested people frustrated and waiting to be let in.

Also, the app’s profile set up asks users to state what they think of the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Some reviewers said that after filling out the profile, FBI agents visited their homes. An app’s spokesperson said that the prompt is just there to generate conversation and that no FBI agents have actually visited any user’s homes.

But The Right Stuff is garbage anyway because its marketing reflected the wave of transphobia that has overtaken the Republican party.

In a June ad for the app, three young women discussed their bad dating experiences. One date involved a bearded bicyclist who is obviously voiced by a woman (because only such a girly man would ride a bike — har-har — right, conservatives?).

“Other dating apps have gone woke,” the app’s website says. “Quit swiping, scrolling, and trolling the wrong people. Connect with people who aren’t offended by everything. View profiles without pronouns.”

It’s unlikely that the app will ban pronouns like “I,” “you,” and “we” since they’re needed to construct sentences that make any sense.

But what’s most likely is that the app will follow a long line of little-known and failed right-wing dating apps like Righter, Donald Dater, TrumpSingles, Patrio, MAGA Mingle, and Conservatives Only, ending just as unsuccessfully as all those did.

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