Newt Gingrich Wants To Teach You How To Be A Better Gay

gingrichgty_newt_gingrich_mad_debate_thg_120119_wgEvil inflatable pool toy Newt Gingrich does not at all approve of all you rude homosexuals! But fortunately he is here to teach you some manners. You’re welcome, gays.

Gingrich appeared yesterday on the 24-hour vocal warmup network, CNN, to complain that it’s getting harder and harder to say terrible things about oppressed minorities.

“THOUGHT POLICE RUN AMOK?” screams a lower-third.

Muttering inquisitor Bishop Harry Jackson Jr speaks first. You may recall him from such hits as “Folks who cannot reproduce want to recruit your kids” and marriage equality is “just like during the times of Hitler.” (Great job booking credible experts, CNN!)

When it’s Newt’s turn to speak, he defends football lunatic Derrick Ward, who previously tweeted that it was “disgusting” for ESPN to allow Michael Sam to kiss the man he loves. Newt goes on, “you guys want to talk about how you want to be inclusive, except of course, if somebody tweets this …’let’s send him off to sensitivity training.’ It strikes me that’s repression, that’s not inclusive.”

He adds, “shouldn’t you be teaching people who are gay to be open and understanding of people who are …” and the rest of the sentence is drowned out in the outrage of the other panelists.

That’s a shame, because we would really have liked to have heard where Newt was going with that. Please, Newt, tell us, what should we be teaching gays? What is your curriculum here for teaching homosexuals to enjoy the company of people who tell them that they are “disgusting?”

The whole things reminds us of a Jules Feiffer cartoon from the early eighties. An older-looking man is muttering to himself that he’s finding it harder and harder to talk, because social rules keep narrowing the language he can use. “Can’t say ‘fag’ anymore,” he gripes. “Can’t say ‘dyke’ anymore.”

At the end of the strip, he throws up his hands, “I can only take so much tolerance. I’m going back to ‘nigger.’” We see where you’re going with this, Newt. It’s not very nice.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #michaelsam #newtgingrich stories and more


  • DonW

    Hey Newt, I hope your first wife was “tolerant” when you ditched her for your mistress while she was hospitalized for cancer. And nice of Bill Clinton to be “tolerant” of your witch-hunting him for his sexual peccadillos, all while pursuing an extramarital affair of your own. Oh, and how “tolerant” of the Catholic Church to grant you, serially divorced, a religious wedding.

    I guess you’ve been awfully successful in your efforts to teach everyone around you good manners.

  • mcflyer54

    The GPS in my car has higher ratings than CNN. The former serious news network has now become little more than background noise on airport flat screens. Giving serial adulterer Gingrich a platform to spout off about politness and social niceities is as ridiculous as putting Michelle Bachmann on the intellengence committee.

  • manjoguy

    @mcflyer54: “…as ridiculous as” having Joe Biden as vice-president of the US or Eric Holder as US Attorney General of the DOJ ?

  • D9W

    So the Newt thinks he can teach you how to hum better in the presents of others who don’t like you humming. How sweet. So he thinks he has a Doctorate in not using teeth. Let’s face it. Newt couldn’t tell you the difference between a hole in the ground, and what he sits on and being faithful to one of his own four spouses, and how not to stick his head where the sun does not shine when it comes to LBGTQ issues. Did I miss anything? I guess CNN and Newt are good bed partners- Faux News wannabes.

  • toberlin

    I am dismayed of his shameless disregards of fellow citizen.What is worse to me -the person who gave this man his job .

  • Mezaien

    He disgusting me and it`s not his faults. He is a F.U.C.K.E.D up American, white.

  • HenryCameron

    Sensitivity Training: It’s like conversion therapy for bigots.

  • michael mellor

    So is Newt saying we should tolerate Hitler’s views on the Jews?

Comments are closed.