David Kopay made history when he came out in 1975 as the first openly gay former NFL player, and was among the first openly gay professional athletes in general.
Kopay, who now resides in Palm Springs, was a pro running back from 1964-1972 on several teams including the San Francisco 49ers and the Green Bay Packers.
Those years, he says in a new interview aired on KESQ NewsChannel 3, were spent in constant fear that his athletic career would be ruined if his secret came out. But after contemplating suicide, he decided to speak up.
“I had to be true to myself. I was becoming so, so depressed that I felt I was locked up and suffocating,” Kopay said.
The feature aired Sunday ahead of Super Bowl LV.
Watch:
Cam
What a brave brave guy, people are still terrified to do this.
arie570
Well Aaron Rodgers thanked his fiancé the other nite and said he had become engaged….he never did say a name 🙂 probably wishful thinking. Lol
Essie
It’s not fair to continue to repeat this rumor about Aaron. He did mention separately he was talking about Shilene Woodley, an actress.
ppp111
Essie, I’m inclined to agree. Unless he says something contrary, we can’t always assume, or wishfully think for that matter, that any well-known guy is actually gay. It doesn’t help the LGBT community as a whole. I DO think it was rather peculiar that he said fiancé but didn’t go beyond that description. Most straight people will gleefully describe their future spouses but hey, to each his own.
Donston
It is unfair to keep bringing up Rodgers. It’s disappointing because it appears that he had a two year plus same-sex relationship yet kept it DL. However, he makes sure the world quickly knows about every industry chick he’s been “dating” for a few months. The constant engagements and break-ups before marriage is also suspect. But ultimately, no one knows the dimensions of Aaron’s sexuality. No one knows whatever types of fluidity he may have experienced. No one knows his internal and external struggles. And no one knows where he is in the romantic, affection, sexual, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum. While he really doesn’t owe the public anything. So, it’s best to let the Aaron Rodgers stuff go.
It is incredibly weird and disheartening that in 2021 we don’t have a single active player in the NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB who is unabashedly into their sex or even willing to admit to being semi into their sex or having been in a same-sex relationship. Ten years ago I thought we’d be way past that point.
GayEGO
Good for David, I came out in 1991 when I realized that my peers at work already knew!
Den
I remember being at a party he was at out in Point Richmond (a wealthy bohemian bayside suburban enclave near SF, only accessible through an old tunnel) in the late 70’s. He came into the sauna while I was there (the property was huge, the house was tiny but the owner had a large separate sauna and cold plunge, a redwood hot tub, and outdoor kitchen and a couple of gazebos on the property), and he was quite impressive physically, as well as friendly and outgoing. Everybody knew who he was of course because his coming out had been very public.
Kangol2
And? Did you at least say hello? OK, you can keep the rest of the encounter secret, but at the least, did you say Hi?
Peternsancarlos
I remember when David Kopay came out and I was 13 and it meant a lot to me .I read Davids autobiography years later and found great inspiration in his words but he has been the only one for decades. He went on to build a business in LA and be a good guy. I just can’t believe so few from the grid iron are gay and wonder why even after retirement why so few come out.
mlethert
Likewise, I was 18 when Dave came out and it helped me a great deal to know that a pro athlete had the courage to say he was gay. I wouldn’t come out for 17 MORE years, but I always gained strength from those who showed that courage during times much more rigid than now, though we still have about 2 centuries to go, sadly.
[email protected]
It is simply impossible that there aren’t many gay NFL football players playing in the league today. Simple statistics would demonstrate that. It’s a shame that none of them have the strength to come out. Once the first “big name” players does that it will open the flood gates.
Jim
I remember reading his book. He came out not only when it was scary but was also dangerous.
He was VERY brave. Unlike celebrities today who think they are.
Essie
I remember reading his book and, yes, he was brave but still, he came out AFTER his career was over, just as several others have. I know for a fact there are many gay football, baseball and basketball players who are still playing. I cannot imagine they will come out because it’s too hard and too distracting. Yes, some players in some sports come out on occasion (ice skating, track, swimming, etc.) but those are individual sports, not team sports and it’s hard to expect a player to admit they are gay to a bunch of over masculine men that have to stand next to you naked in a locker room. It won’t go over well. I do think that some gay players are out to some of their teammates or coaches, though, but not the whole team. It would be nice if a current sports figure came out but I don’t expect it to happen for quite some time.
Cam
True, but he came out in the 70s, when it could also really impact your business and just living your life.
barryaksarben
He once came to Seattle to give a speech at the Pride foundation and requested that instead of a hotel room he just room with a local and so my roommate and I invited him and even drove to Vancover that weekend with him and spent the day at Wreck’s beach where he stripped quick as a wink and spent the day being admired by all . He was a very sweet man to both of us and tho nothing sexual happened it seemed everyone had a great time. He was very brave for his honesty at a time most werent.
trsxyz
I read his bio and felt he was very brave to come out in 1975 even though it was after his playing days were over. To my knowledge, no one else (a professional sports figure) had ever done that. And he seems like a great guy too.
ppp111
I think the reason so few men have come out while playing is the fact that it can become an unnecessary distraction. Most players inside the locker room already know who’s gay; they just don’t make a big deal out of it since most guys consider their love lives private. Yeah, I often come across those hearsay stories of “I heard from a reliable source that so and so is secretly gay” stuff. I think we all have. But as far as I’m concerned we shouldn’t put too much on gossip. I also think that if a guy were to come out, the media attention would be a little too much. Michael Sam is a great example of that. I personally think if it weren’t for all that media coverage, he would probably have played a couple of seasons in the NFL with most of the coverage about him being about his play on the field, not his personal life. But I digress.
Donston
Michael Sam sorta f-ed up. He indulged the media frenzy and embraced the media positioning him as a “gay mascot” even before getting drafted. I knew then it was a mistake. He should just been “out” publicly and not indulged any of the rest until he’d been in the league for a couple years. It’s unfortunate that people have to play those balancing games.
Until dudes in top level sports being unabashedly into dudes/queer/gay/non-“straight” becomes “normal”, the media will keep making a big deal out of it. While the media (and some fans) making a big deal out of it is partly why we don’t see any publicly “out” players. So, it’s a problematic cycle.
nitejonboy
Hearing him talk about wanting to have been a coach has me in tears…he clearly wasn’t done yet with football but they were done with him and let him know it..he would have been a great coach, I’ve no doubt of that. Will we ever reach a day when coming out is no longer considered a brave thing and is just something people do when they are ready ? So tired of this. God bless you Mr. Kopay. Thank you for doing what so many others are still too afraid to do.
Openminded
Until nobody has to “come out”, coming out will be a huge step for LGBT folk. Nobody finds it necessary to choose a point in their life to proclaim “Hey, I’m straight”, so why should people have to proclaim their gayness. I know it’s not that simple, but until the LGBT community can be seen as just another guy or gal, without the added tag of “who happens to like their same sex”, coming out will be awkward for most people. It’s sad that the necessity to educate the public on what LGBT is and is not, to a degree, can often be the same action that causes the uneducated to hate this community. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Just like the progression of equality for other minority groups and races, it’s a very slow process that few have the patience for. That said, I truly do believe that tolerance and understanding is growing for most all groups.
Russell1947
Not really “fair “ to keep bringing up Rodgers? He treated his best friend/roommate like trash, began going out with some at the time nameless actress for his overly religious family. All for money and fame. Sorry no feeling for him. Some day he’ll hopefully apologize to the guy who gave him friendship and probably more.
Dave, on the other hand deserves respect and honor
Donston
I definitely feel some type of way towards Aaron and likely always will. However, it’s all supposition. We don’t really know all the details of that relationship and what happened. Just like we don’t know how “real” Aaron’s relationships are with women. And we don’t know where he is in the romantic, sexual, affection, emotional, commitment spectrum. No matter any of that stuff, it’s time to move on.
Kangol2
Kopay was incredibly brave and like Roy Simmons (RIP) and Esera Tuaolo, among a very few others, is the rare NFLer to have come out, even though there have been more than a few gay men in the sport. I always thought former NY Jet Kerry Rhodes would come out officially after he was outed, but instead he married a an Australian actress for six months, only to have her divorce him for irreconcilable differences. The whole production just seemed sad and a performance. As talented as Rhodes was and as many skills as he still possessed, he couldn’t get picked up by another NFL team after that outing. I blame the NFL as a league and its teams, and not Rhodes or his alleged ex.
Celtic
Years ago I saw Kopay on Rehoboth Beach. I thanked him for his courage and bravery. He was shy; quiet; humble and somewhat ill at ease. I got it. Being queer in the 60’s and 70’s was especially challenging and threatening.