An open mind

Nico Tortorella: I don’t identify as polyamorist “so I can just go out and f*** whatever I want”

All of you, stop tormenting Nico Tortorella with your polyamory-bashing rhetoric. He’s sick and tired of it, and he’s still practicing polyamory, if only to spite you.

As People reports, the 29-year-old actor opens up about his open relationship on Bravo’s new digital talk show Personal Spacecandidly discussing his life with Bethany Meyers, a fitness and lifestyle coach that he’s been dating for 11 years.

She identifies as gay, he identifies as pansexual, and they’re in a polyamorous relationship, and everyone needs to stop making a big deal out of it.

Related: Nico Tortorella says “the most flack I get for being bisexual comes from other LGBT people”

“I’m not in an open relationship so I can go out and just fuck whoever I want,” he says. “For me, it’s more about the ability to emotionally connect with people outside of my primary partner.”

Steve Ward, the CEO of Matchmakers, appears absolutely befuddled about all this polyamory business happening right under all of our noses.

“Wow! That’s like the one thing every girl fears I think,” he says. “There’s a whole part of this country in between L.A. and New York where the bulk of these people fear their partner developing an emotional attachment to someone else.”

“The fact of the matter is,” Tortorella retorts, “we’ve only been shown one story since basically the beginning of time and that’s man, woman and family — and that’s it.”

“Are you a polyamorist?” Ward asks, somewhat redundantly.

“That is the word for it, yes,” Tortorella replies.

Then Ward opines that it isn’t “good practice to invite other people” into a relationship when “you’re talking about having a home and creating a life.”

“If you consider your life to be like a rock-faced wall, you can climb that wall by yourself or you can climb that wall in a group of people, like Nico here would prefer to do. Or you can climb that wall in tandem, and two people climbing that wall together are more likely to make it to the top easier, more safely than if you have too many people in your group or if you’re just doing it on your own.”

“I’m always climbing the wall with one other person,” Tortorella says, “but that person is just changing.”

Of course, an open relationship can totally work — but not if your significant other also wants to scream at you all the time.

It’s one or the other, bro.