According to actor Nico Tortorella, the most prejudice he’s experienced for identifying as bisexual has come from close-minded LGBTQ people.
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The Scream 4 star came out last year as “sexually-fluid” and then later clarified that he identifies as bisexual.
Talking to The View, he opined that society has “a lot of work to do” when it comes to understanding and accepting bisexuality
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Joe Behar asked whether he feels bisexual stigma has decreased in the last several years.
“It’s getting better,” he says. “We still have a lot of work to do.”
“I think the most flack I get – and other bisexual friends I have get – is actually from inside of the [LGBT+] community, and not from straight people.”
Later on, he’s asked — predictably — whether his mutual attraction to both sexes has exacerbated jealousy in his relationships.
“That’s their own insecurity,” he says. “There is jealousy in every single relationship across the board, no matter who you’re in a relationship with.”
Once the segment aired, he took to Instagram to say he was “beyond humbled” to be included in the episode.
“i am beyond humbled. beyond grateful. beyond proud,” he writes. “This is progress. This is visibility. This is bisexual affirmation. this is pansexual inclusivity.
“This is the queer fluid non-binary future i want to be part of.”
Kenney G
Maybe it’s because you’re not one of us, You know I get it you like the ladies but don’t expect us to just love you because you’re a queer. Gay people aren’t queer , We don’t need to see you and your old lady on the cover of a gay magazine or any type of gay Media . Why don’t you go be on the cover of some straight publication, We see this shit everyday in real life, We don’t need to see it in our personal lives also. Don’t try to force your straight lifestyle down our throats we get enough of that shit from society. You’re Dismissed
Deepdow
“one of us”
Speak for yourself please, don’t include me in your screed. Your biphobia is hypocritical btw.
Now you’re dismissed.
Kenney G
Deepdow- I’m talking about Gay men, Not you Queers, now you can leave
kent25
Nope not a fan of this guy, And he seriously wonder why gay men don’t like him. he’s a Pest, If people don’t like you they just don’t like you. Just shut up about it and move on. he’s not making any fans here
kent25
lol So he’s Bisexual now, oh please this attention Whore doesn’t know what he is. Just Trash trying to drum up fans in the gay community. He went from fluid to bi now pansexual, lol He can get lost his name is Dirt around here
DCguy
Hmmm, Funny that he doesn’t consider people trying to pass laws against him and turn him into a second class citizen as “Getting flack”.
So somebody saying something to him on an online forum is apparently MUCH worse for his life than being arrested for who he is, fired for who he is, or denied the right to live his life.
So in other words, he’s happy to have the freedoms that the LGBT community fights for, but will still happily throw them under the bus in an interview.
mawbinatl
I think you’re overthinking it. I believe that he understands that there are those in society that don’t “want his kind” around them and he accepts that portion of the narrow minded part of society. There’s nothing you can do to really change their minds. What he’s addressing are the gay men who shame him [and others] for being bisexual. I think it has a lot to do with jealousy and bitterness of wanting him to only belong to our “tribe”.
Bisexuality is a non-starter for most in the LGBT community, but there are still those detractors who claim that he’s being greedy or somehow dismissing his obvious homosexuality.
I, for one, had a difficult time understanding how someone could be with a woman at one point and suddenly turn around and have a LTR with a man and still claim that they were bisexual. My opinions on the matter have matured and changed.
He is who he is. It is not up to us gay men to shame him or give him grief because of who he is.
I applaud him for calling those people out because they wouldn’t like to be judged for being gay or transgendered by someone in their “inner circle” like he doesn’t want to be judged.
After all, the “B” in LGBT does stand for bisexual.
Donston
mawbinati. I have no problem with his bisexuality. I am a homo-dominant bi. It’s this dude’s narcissism, his contradictory stories and philosophies, his ever-changing identities, his constant seeking of attention from gay media and constant using of gay media to promote himself despite making it clear that he never intends on having a real relationship with a man, his evasiveness about his sexual attractions despite relentlessly speaking on his sexuality, the general using of his sexual identity and behavior to boost his brand and gain a following rather than actually educating people (cause he has no talent to speak of), his constant bemoaning about people accepting him yet complete disinterest in supporting gay and lesbian and trans rights and issues. These are the problems most have with this guy
kent25
True! and he’s annoying as Hell
Teri
why he never talk about being bi in the straight community he’s a strange fruit
Kenney G
Nobody is shaming this attention Whore, he should know he’s not a part of our community and make peace with that, Just top trying to sell himself to everybody in this so called lgbt , Gay people aren’t queer , we’re just gay men and lesbians, He need to learn to stay on his side of the fence
Ummmm Yeah
Or maybe you just don’t seem trustworthy to anyone. Maybe you should be taking it personally.
BennyP
lol Poor Nico, No one is jealous of you, If straight people love you so much WHY the Hell are you here ?
why aren’t you flaunting your sexuality in the straight community? You have a Hell of a lot of work to do if you think you will be accepted in the gay and lesbian community, lol Cause that ain’t Never gonna happen, Now Just go away, go some place you’re actually wanted, you’re done here gurlfriend lol
drmiller
I’ve never seen this dude act, but he seems like an intelligent, thoughtful, and informed person.
That being said, I literally do.not.care about his bisexuality. His entire brand seems to be built on it, unless he really wants to champion this cause (cause?), if I were him I’d start redirecting the conversations because I’m bored with reading about it. I see his face and the only thing I think (or know about him) is: oh hey, that guys bi and apparently misunderstood.
Donston
I’m all for someone being honest about the dimensions their sexuality and sense of gender. But this dude is nothing but an attention-desperate twat and probably a complete people-user and manipulator.
He’s still greatly uncomfortable with being seen as bisexual. Outside of interviews he still strictly calls himself “fluid”. He knew he had to identify as bi if he were to get the persistent media attention he wants. Despite still speaking ad-nauseam about his sexuality he still refuses to talk about his sexual attractions, saying that he finds men and women both “physically” attractive. He says he feels just as connected to the “straight world” as he does LGBTQ, which if you’re self-accepting bisexual men and living as such as you claim then you’re not apart of the “straight world”. He says he has no interest in building a life with anyone who isn’t a cis gendered female, yet still wants to constantly use gay and queer media to boost his image and brand. He simply wishes to use everyone else to satisfy his sexual instincts, fetishes and to boost his ego. He has nothing to say about gay, lesbians or trans rights and prejudices. He’s always just harping about his “fluidity”.
The dude is a narcissistic, fetish-driven, ego-driven phony. He’s just upset that there is a section of people who see through his garbage and refuse to give him the worship is desperately craves.
kent25
Yes he is and frankly I’m sick of seeing him every damn place on gay media
ErikO
It’s true that if you are bisexual you do get biphobia and hate from people who are gay/lesbian.
Donston
Sure. But let’s not ignore the ton of other legitimate reasons he gets “hate”. Also, it’s rarely that simple. I’ve been identifying as homo-dominant bi for ten years, because that’s what I am, and I have rarely experienced any genuine “bi-phobia”. Most of the people who constantly whine about “bi-phobia” seem to be people who lie about who they inherently are and lie about their inherent sexual attractions, lie about the motivations behind their “lifestyle” and sexual behaviors, people who use their identities or bi behavior to feel superior to homosexuals and separate themselves, and people who are mostly driven greatly by ego, megalomania, narcissism and/or fetish. It’s a persistent pattern from people who persistently scream “bi-phobia” and “bi erasure”. And it’s the main thing holding back the “bi cause”.
tr6886
If bi can stop trying to get advantages on both sides, gays will not get biphobia.
kent25
LMFAO- gay people don’t like me because I like girls! lol Get the F**k out of here. Why is this fool here? I don’t give a shit who your in love with, it has no bearing on my life one way or the other, so why do I need to seen you? Your like Jock Itch unwanted and unneeded, does seeing your face stop some gay kid from taking his or her life ? NO It Doesn’t . You’re just making matters worst, you don’t belong here .
tr6886
I rarely comment here, but I have to say this guy is really a douche-bag full of himself.
Kenney G
He’s a real pill, with all the things going on in the world why is this asswipe always in the gay media, It’s not like he bring anything to my table. He need to give it a rest and take a seat.
[email protected]
Gays who are jealous of bisexuals may well suffer from a deep absence of self-esteem. Wake up, gays. Being gay doesn’t make you half of a bisexual. You are whole and complete just as you are.
Donston
Just because you’re willing to call this dude out on his bs doesn’t make you “jealous”. I’m very happy I don’t have a similar mindset. If you’ve actually been reading what he’s saying for the past year and half it’s not that difficult to suss out his nonsense.
I am bisexual (though I prefer to be called homo-dominant). And this man does not speak for me. He doesn’t speak for any person who simply has sexual attraction to multiple genders. He speaks for cluster b personality and fetish and using people.
Paironoids
If you don’t like/get what he is talking about, just read these comments. So sad. He is just telling it like it is.
Donston
I get exactly what he’s saying. But anyone who’s actually paid attention to everything he’s been saying for the past year and a half and not just reading random quotes and looking at shirtless photos knows how contradictory, evasive, narcissistic, attention-seeking and people-using he’s come off. And yes, some of the comments here are ignorant.
We need to focus more on genuine and upfront honesty, self-respect, self-acceptance. We need to talk more about the genuine dimensions of some people’s sexuality (fem/mas based attractions, attraction to body parts but not entire genders, developing immediate sexual arousal for multiple genders but not maintaining arousal and interest, etc). We need to talk more about why some people don’t wish to live lives reflective of their sexual attractions or primary sexual attractions. We need to talk about how developing narcissism, gender dis-morphia, internalized homophobia, misogyny, misandry and fetishes based in megalomania can greatly affect someone’s sexual behavior and “lifestyle”.
We can’t just keep hiding behind random “labels” and evasive, pretentious, self-pitying dialogues. Until we get real about a lot of what’s going on out here and in people’s heads there will continue to be misunderstandings.
Spike
Maybe it has something to do with our life experience ….. that being, bisexuals tend not to talk about being bisexual, they have sex with both sexes . . . . bisexuals that talk about it, bring it up every chance they get, they are desperate to convince you they are bisexual, attack you if you question their being bisexual…..99% of the time turn out to be closet cases that eventually come out as gay.
Kenney G
Yep You got it right
Paco
Oh just call yourself straight on the down low and the gays will love and worship you.
Donston
Unfortunately, that’s how it goes for many self-hating, hetero-worshiping homos. But he’s too fem to pull that off.
Teri
It’s not like they have anything in common with him. The guy is a pest, why should gay men be all gaga over some guy who don’t see himself with a man? duh! Just shut the hell up and do your bi thing and stay away from the gay community, quit trying to throw gay people under the Bus, You should know you don’t fit in with those guys
jsmnyny24
Why should gay men be all gaga over some guy who doesn’t see himself as a man? Easy, because many gay men can easily look past a fraud being when it is wrapped in a lovely package.
A gay man’s Achilles heals.
jsmnyny24
Perhaps the flack is because you suddenly have become the official spokesman for sexual fluidity and bisexuality, that at least to some, to only benefit your career. The only person benefiting from Nico’s act of bravery is Nico. Your agent must be thrilled.
Something is terribly wrong with “the movement” when a charlatan can hijack the narrative so easily.
Donston
He has no real insight to offer. His whole agenda isn’t about being your true self or about giving any real insight on the complexities of sexuality. His agenda is about pushing polygamy, not being “trapped” by his sexual attractions and getting publicity. That’s not progression. That doesn’t help the “bi cause”. And it doesn’t help dissipate stereotypes. He has the mentality and instincts of an average porn performer. It’s all just self-interest and narcissism.
He BGB
I watched this episode of the View and it is very confusing all the new labels the new next generation wants to be called and yet they hate labels. Whoopi said like all the names she has had to change thru the years like negro, colored, black and now African American we all have to just catch up. It is no longer gay straight and bi but all these new ones that are so vague (like this dude’s). One woman said she liked sex with men but didn’t like men romantically so she was (I forget her label, I think it was pansexual).
Donston
One of the problems with sexual identity in general is that people frequently confuse sexual enjoyment, sexual attraction and physical attraction. Just because you can enjoy sex with a gender doesn’t mean that you are sexually or romantically attracted to that gender. And that’s what a lot of “queer” people are afraid to admit. No one wants to admit their behavior and/or “lifestyle” is driven by confusion, sado-masochistic fetish, money, misogyny, misandry, internalized homophobia, nymphomania, etc. So, people continue to come up with vague label on top of vague label.
No matter what your “label” is if you’re being honest about yourself it’s not difficult to explain your sexual attractions, sexual behavior and “lifestyle”. The fact that Nico has such a difficult time explaining any of those things beyond his multitude of labels is a hint that he’s full of it. He uses other “queer” people to shield himself so he doesn’t have to be straight-forward. Never mind the narcissism, attention-seeking, etc.
BennyP
He’s one of the the polyamory crowd, you know three guys and one slutty girl, lol well No Thank You!
I’ll pass
ass eater
isn’t this just good old fashioned bisexuality being over rated!
BennyP
Yep You got it, He want to turn gay men queer like himself, lol he’s Pathetic
Smith David
I just be day dreamin day dreamin bout Nico. Dats ma boi. He could talk me till I’m blue in the face. He’s so hot.
Paironoids
Donston – Wow. Just wow. You really don’t get it. If anyone seems to be self aggrandizing and into themselves I think it might be you. Apparently you don’t care for Mr. Tortorella. Fine. But believe me, his message is spot on.
Donston
I get tired of people on the internet that say you’re wrong but don’t really combat anything you say. It’s the “you’re wrong but although this is the perfect place to explain why you’re wrong I don’t have the time or I just think you’re too stupid to talk to” way of arguing. I understand that there are a lot of dimensions to human sexuality, to sociology, to psychology and there are plenty of people who don’t get bisexuality. I knew all of this before Nico. And he hasn’t given me any insight that I didn’t already have. In fact, he’s given no insight at all.
Throughout all his pretension and prattle and show-boating and evasiveness and multiple identities, Nico seems to be trying to say but is too scared to say that he’s a man with greatly gay-leaning sexual attractions but he does sometimes get enjoyment out of sexual activity with women and is ultimately too “emotionally” connected to women to let go of them romantically and sexually. So, he wants to continue having “main” relationships with women while building sexual and semi-romantic relationships with mainly men on the side of that.
If you’ve truly listened to and read a lot of what he’s said for the past year and a half it’s not difficult to piece it together. It’s the main reason why he’s petrified to flat-out say his sexual attractions. And it’s fine. People having been living that brand of “lifestyle” for many, many years. And I understand that for some people (particularly extreme cluster b personalities) living a life reflective of their sexual attractions or primary sexual attractions is incredibly daunting on their morale and ego. Just have the balls to say that and then move on with your life. What he’s doing is not for insight purposes. It’s for attention, publicity and to convince himself and others that his “lifestyle” is appropriate. If he truly wanted to give insight he’d focus less on shirtless photo shoots, focus less on hyping his “fluidity” and hyping polygamy and truly talk about his sexual attractions, his motivations, the type of emotional and romantic connection he has with different genders, etc.
He simply dropped the ball by expecting to get away with using his sexual identities and behaviors for constant publicity while still being incredibly vague about who he is. He dropped the ball by expecting self-accepting gay and homo-dominant men to kiss his ass and by expecting people whose lifestyles and identities are not driven primarily by ego, fetish and sociology to kiss his ass.
Captain Obvious
I remember catching flack here for saying sexual fluidity didn’t exist and was made up so attention whores could jump on the bandwagon of “difference” but also back out when it got uncomfortable.
Enjoy the fruits of your labor people. You defended them and now they’re everywhere in your face wearing your skin when it suits them and peeling it off when it doesn’t. You asked for this and supported it.
This douche thinks kissing a guy once or twice and not vomiting makes him bisexual. He’s only claiming bisexual now because his sexual fluidity angle just made him sound like a whore and he already admitted he’d never be in a relationship with a man. He just flip flops every 2 seconds for more interviews. Whatever makes him sound “better” in the press.
Why are they talking to him over so many prominent gay men and women who actually represent us? Why is “fluidity” being so heavily politicized and marketed now? Being a whore doesn’t make you different and flip flopping for attention doesn’t make you bisexual.
Scotty2Naughty
Nico had nothing to add to the conversation really. The women were talking 98% of the time. He should probably stay away from these conversations until he has something more substantial to say. I know that the LGBT community can be more critical about certain things, but why focus on that at all? If someone doesn’t support you, Fucck them.
Donston
That’s the biggest issue I have with Nico. He’s obsessed with talking about his “fluidity” and “complexity” and constantly getting press for it, yet he’s constantly using other people and different labels to hide behind. Until he’s willing to be truly straight-forward he should duck out of this conversation. You can tell that his whole persona and identity is nothing more than a collection of things he’s read and heard other people say. He’s not truly revealing anything about himself or giving any real insight on the subject. Yet, he wants to be the bannerman of this “movement”.
BennyP
The guy is just another Caitlyn Jenner of the LGBTQ, It just kills him gay men are fawning all over him.
There’s a reason I’m called gay, I don’t do Menage a trois with 4 little penis fluid guys and 1 flat chested slutty Bimbo. I know what turns me on and what doesn’t , And have sex with 5 queers on a dirty mattress don’t do it for me sorry .
So instead of trying to divide and conquer try doing something meaningful with your time, Because there will always be GAY MEN . Gay Men and Lesbians we’re not queers lol
JaredMacBride
Who is Joe Behar?
kent25
Okay Queerty Nicole has had his 5 seconds, It’s time to move on to other Important thing instead of harping on some little androgynous fluid guy’s Rantings. The truth of the matter is Gay men are the G in LGBTQ+.
This guy needs to accept it and get a life
viking329
are you guys serious?
there is very much a biphobia existent within the LGBTQ+ community.
“oh, they’re just taking the easy route.”
“hell no, i don’t wanna be with such a person. they might just go for the other gender.”
advocating for diversity much.
grow up, people.
Donston
You really haven’t been paying much attention to Nico’s comments over the last couple years or truly reading through this comment section.
People constantly wish to turn the narrative into what they want to turn it to. Very much like how people want to turn sexual orientation into whatever they wish it to be. This isn’t about diversity. The core of it is about being legitimately honest with yourself and others and not using “labels” or behavior to hide behind.
viking329
“The core of it is about being legitimately honest with yourself and others and not using “labels” or behavior to hide behind.”
most bisexuals are exactly doing that, yet they get turned down or are not taken seriously within the community, because of some bad apples AND because they don’t get the same pressure as gay folks do. that is something that needs to stop.
Donston
viking329. I agree that “bad apples” definitely spoil a lot. Unfortunately, many of those “bad apples” are the ones who are the loudest ones.
Most men who identify as bi/fluid/queer are in straight relationships and, no matter what their inherent sexual attractions are, many merely look at other men as sexual objects and/or meal tickets and/or things to party with.
There’s no doubt that many bi, fluid, queer etc identifying men are incredibly evasive about what motivates their behavior and identity. Most that I have encountered refuse to be completely straight-forward about their sexual attractions. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that your attraction to men is minor or your attraction to women is minor. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t actually have real sexual attraction to both men and women, but that your identity and behavior is more driven by comfort, fetish, liking to experience different things, not being able to develop romantic bonds with the gender you’re sexually attracted to, etc. Many are petrified to admit this kind of stuff, and because of that they come off as deceptive and narcissistic as Nico. There’s no doubt that a great percentage of bi identifying people (particularly men) try desperately to separate themselves from gays and lesbians and often show indifference to gay rights and causes. There’s also no doubt that ego-dystonia, internalized homophobia, narcissism and megalomania are very prominent things and can have great affect on behavior, sense of self and identity.
Until we confront all these things, are able to have real and open conversations about them and stop using labels and behavior and vague language people will continue to misunderstand and continue to resent. Despite identifying as bi for the past ten years (though I’ve been going with homo-dominant over the past three years, and that’s the “label” I’ll stick with) I haven’t experienced any of this supposed “bi-phobia” many speak of. I guess that’s because I’ve always been willing to be completely straight-forward about exactly who I am and what I want, and I have resisted deceiving or using people.
Donston
Also, all the things that I’ve said in this thread on Nico and the general topic of sexuality and you only quote what’s convenient for your agenda. That’s a very tired internet debating tactic.
Donston
Furthermore, too many are obsessed with being an enigma, with building a “complex” persona, with being seen as subversive and inscrutable. That’s why so many come off as narcissistic and/or deceptive and/or “confused”. More direct honesty and less goopy, pretentious philosophy is all that’s needed. And the most “bi/fluid/queer pride!” type of guys are the ones who tend to display those tendencies most often.
Donston
My last lil note on this man and this topic:
A lot (and I mean a lot) of people are very confused about who they are, what they want, why they have the instincts that they have. And instead of confronting that they slap on a vague label and give a vague explanation for why that label fits them (often times leaving out talk about sexual attractions. Instead, replacing sexual attraction, which is what sexual orientation means, with talk about sexual behavior and “physical” attractions and “love”).
As I’ve mentioned quite a few times, these new-age “labels” are kinda useless. The majority of them are extremely vague and mean whatever the individual wants them to. There can great dimension to many people’s sexuality, and so much of people’s behaviors can be driven by ego and sociology and comfort and megalomania. Damn a label. Truly coming out is being honest about your inherent and exact sexual attractions, your romantic instincts and your behavior and then you move on with your life. Trying to sell people 1,000 different “labels” every week doesn’t help people understand you or understand sexuality.
kent25
The LGBTQ+ is always added extra letters to the acronym next they will a letter for Beastiality I’m sure he’s into that too. The slutty side of the community is into everything
Donston
I’ve learned that most men who describe themselves as fluid, queer, flexible, “I don’t believe in labels” are almost always men whose sense of sexuality and sexual behavior is driven by fetish, ego, megalomania and a constant desire to “feel different things” more so than it is driven by gender attractions or “love”. That’s sometimes the case with bi-identifying men as well but much more so with men who take on these extremely vague “new-age” identities.
kent25
LOL Gay men’s RAID, Go Away Nicole, Your not Popular in the Gay community