Sexually fluid actor/model/podcaster Nico Tortorella has once again opened up about about his sexuality.
In recent interviews with both PEOPLE and The Advocate, 28-year-old Tortorella, who identifies as pansexual, talks about his 11 year polyamorous relationship with Bethany Meyers, a fitness and lifestyle entrepreneur, who identifies as gay (“I know more women who call themselves gay than they call themselves lesbian,” she says.)
Related: ‘Sexually Fluid’ Nico Tortorella Asked Whether It’s Harder To Date Men Or Women. Here’s His Answer.
“I think the way I use the word fluidity is like fluid in everything, fluid in train of thought,” Nico explains. “It doesn’t always have to be one thing. The one thing anybody can talk about, no matter race, religion, sexuality or gender, is love.”
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“I can be emotionally, physically attracted to men. I can be emotionally, physically attracted to women.”
Nico says the key to making their relationship work is trust and that they take things “day by day,” with knowledge that, whatever happens, they will always be a part of each other’s lives.
“We’re family,” he says, though they shrink away from “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” labels.
Related: For The Record, Nico Tortorella Is Bisexual, Not “Sexually Fluid”
Bethany adds, “I think we’re raised with this idea that you’re supposed to go and find ‘the one,’ especially women. You’re looking for your Prince Charming. You need to be proposed to. There’s this one person you’re searching to find, so the idea of finding a stability partner, and having other things on top of that, feels too messy.”
As for sex, Nico basically says that’s no one’s business but their own.
“We need to get our head out of that place,” he says. “I really think that that’s the biggest harm that we have done. Even the word ‘sexuality.’ What’s your ‘sexuality?’ It shouldn’t even be about sex. Sex is a by-product.”
Watch the PEOPLE interview below.
photo credit: Nico Tortorella/Facebook
Donston
So, they’re both gay/gay-leaning people whose narcissism, fetishes, and obsession with hetero-normalcy and hetero dynamics makes them want to be with the opposite gender? That’s pretty much what I’ve suspected all along. And he’s been with her for 11 years? Yet, he’s spent a considerable amount of time hyping his other “relationships” and talking about being single. He was identifying as “fluid”, then “bi”, now “pan”. All in like a year. It’s all just a messy, headcase-y, internalized homophobic, attention-seeking mess.
Do what you do. But the fact that this dude won’t shut the fck up about his “lifestyle”, continues to promote the idea of being gay and only using people for sex and continues to use gay media for the sake of publicity while being in a hetero relationship is really sick-minded and desperate.
drewthemoviefan
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Donston
And then he has the nerve to say that talking about his sexual habits and his inherent sexual attractions is none of anyone’s business. Yet, he’s been relentlessly using his “identity” and lifestyle for publicity for over a year. It’s all really nauseating.
CaliKyle
Nailed it.
ProfessorMoriarty
THANK YOU, Donston. Couldn’t have put it better myself. As far as I’m concerned, bisexuality is definitely a thing, but I don’t know what to call what Nico Tortorwhatever is.
Oh wait, yes I do: attention whore.
Donston
I’m a homo-dominant bisexual. So, I’m aware that sexuality can have plenty of dimension. But it’s not that difficult to find a woman or man who will allow you to do whatever you please, especially if you have money and/or is good-looking. However, even that’s too simple for him. More than gender or “love” he mostly seems to get off on attention, tension and convolution.
The fact that he keeps changing his stories, keeps changing his “identities”, keeps being evasive about his sex life and sexual attractions and yet won’t shut the hell up about his “lifestyle” makes it all too apparent that he’s a full of sh*t headcase.
Donston
He obviously doesn’t feel like he has inherent sexual attraction to men and women. Otherwise, he would have said that by now. I’d guess that most of sexual attractions lie with men. But the most extremely narcissistic of people can lose any real sense of gender sexual attraction and their behavior and identity becomes driven by habit, fetish, ego, lifestyle, etc. He may be one of those types of people.
Chris
This fluidity jargon makes my head spin. But I figure that, as long as the people who claim the term know what it means and whatever happens is between consenting adults, it’s not really any concern of mine. I fought for our rights; and now, people are building on what my generation accomplished. More power to them.
Donston
The only issue I have is that this dude just won’t shut the hell up and that he’s constantly using gay media and his “identity” for the sake of publicity while being in a hetero relationship. Never mind that his identities and his stories constantly change. More “power” to them. But please have a damn seat and go a whole week without giving an interview about your “lifestyle”. And perhaps get into the porn industry, where they both probably belong.
kent25
lol gay woman? There’s no such thing. Only Lesbians would be known as a gay woman. And he has the wrong plumbing to date a lesbian lol. He has not idea who he’s sleeping with.
Any how I’m sick of seeing this guy as if he represent me, because he Don’t.
Do us all a favor and crawl back in the closet, I liked him better when he claim he was straight . These Queers are just popping every damn time you turn around, let them go grace the pages of a straight magazine
tr6886
First. I don’t know who he is, and I assume that he is the type of self -identified celebrity who is looking for publicity in any chance. Second, what he wants to say is he is bi in heterosexual relationship. Third, the revolution that our previous generations have been fighting for has turned into such narcissistic stuff, and I am sure LGBT predecessors don’t appreciate this and don’t want this.
Kenney G
True! I don’t know why the gay media put up with this crap, he represents Nothing in the gay community
Donston
Unfortunately, the days of promoting self-acceptance and mental health and a stable “lifestyle” have turned into the celebration of cluster b personalities. While debauchery, internalized homophobia, mental fragility and megalomania are being renamed “progressive”.
Eddie W
People like that has no place here, they are just straight people who cross the fence every blue moon .
Kenney G
Both him and her are Queers, Nothing gay about either one of them.
Why they give these two Horny Sluts the time of day is beyond me. I don’t give a shit about them. Go tell your slutty stories to Time magazine Nico Tortorella you don’t represent my community
Eddie W
Okay enough is enough, does this guy really believe gay men give a damn about him in a heterosexual relationship with some Flat chested pansexual girl? No! Hell no we Don’t . Nico is an Attention WHORE, Why don’t he go flaunt his Bisexuality in the straight community.
Gay people fight for right every damn day because can’t we morph in to straight people anytime we feel like it. Now go the Hell away, No one here is fawning over you so get lost
Eddie W
All these straight people have no business being on gay media
am
And still Queerty writes about them every single day (which is really annoying).
Donston
This type of relationship isn’t new or revolutionary. Hell, I used to be in one. Narcissistic, fetish driven, hetero-obsessed people gay or gay-leaning attractions have been linking up for thousands of years. Experimenting hetero couples, gay men and gay women who couple, bisexuals, homo-leaning bisexuals, and queer couples have all been having open relationships forever. For them to pretend like this is something different and progressive is beyond me. They face no real struggle or prejudice.
For Nico to continue to use gay media for publicity, for ego boosting attention and to feel better about his “lifestyle” is frankly sad. And the fact that gay media keeps biting (primarily because people think the guy is attractive) is even sadder.
Richard 55
Nico Tortorella is so refreshing in that he rejects the straight/gay binary politics imposed on American men by the Left. So refreshing….
Bitter queens of the Left…eat your heart out.
Donston
It’s so sad that the only people here you ever praise are men who date women. Like, is there a single man living a “gay lifestyle” that you even sorta like?
He “identifies” as bisexual. I thought you hated people “identifying” as anything. Oh, and of course you continue to blame women, gay men and “the left” for everything. Yet, Nico is unabashedly liberal in his politics. He’s also very effeminate, which is something that usually annoys you. Your redundant self-hatred would be easy to respect if you weren’t also so contradictory.
And, “eat your heart out”. Dude, come up with a new phrase.
enlightenone
Sexual moron!
Richard 55
Bitter queens need to butt out. You need to realize that men deserve freedom. I applaud Nico for being himself and freeing himself from the Fascist labels imposed on men by bitter queens.
kent25
Poor baby when will he ever learn Slutty polyamory people are Outcast in the gay and straight community .
imaqt2
I know this is old but to the members who don’t know why gay media posts things like this, it’s pretty obvious. This is gay media, news, stories etc they cover things that are gay. Including people coming out as gay, claiming their gay, acting gay, looking gay, acting as gay for their job, accused of being gay, answering questions about gays EVERYTHING GAY. They aren’t trying to make this guy famous. They are simply reporting a story about something associatd with…..GAY.