girl stop

Nikki Haley’s presidential campaign is an absolute mess & somehow manages to keep getting messier

Nikki Haley with an exaggerated look on her face, wearing makeup and a pink suit jacket.

Nikki Haley is trying it all: transphobia, ageism, gun-toting pictures. But none of her tricks are working. The former South Carolina governor is barely registering in the latest Republican presidential polls, drawing just 4% of voters’ support.

But girl, she’s gonna keep trying! Haley’s race to the bottom is well underway.

During a recent interview with a local news affiliate in the Palmetto State, Haley followed the tired playbook and stressed her opposition to gender-affirming care for minors.

“You shouldn’t allow a child to have gender-changing procedure until the age of 18 when they are an adult and they can make that decision,” she said. “We shouldn’t have taxpayer dollars going to that.”

At least 16 states have banned gender-affirming care for minors, despite the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Medical Association both saying the practice can be life-saving.

But Haley isn’t letting the facts, or her dignity, get in the way of a good attack. Over the last week, she’s been promoting the idea that President Joe Biden will die in office.

That’s quite ironic for the woman who shot back at former CNN anchor Don Lemon for saying the 51-year-old politician is past her prime.

Instead of Biden, it’s apparent that Haley wants to run against Vice President Kamala Harris, who’s featured prominently in her latest attack ad.

“If you vote for Joe Biden you really are counting on a President Kamala Harris,” Haley says less than 10 seconds in the video, while ominous music and shots of Biden and Harris are displayed on the screen.

The reaction hasn’t been kind. Shockingly, Republican primary voters, many of whom are older, aren’t rallying around Haley’s message of death. And everybody else can see through it.

But wait, there’s even more futile pandering to mock! A few days ago, Haley posed for the perquisite Republican candidate gun photo.

She looked quite silly, toting a rifle for the sole purpose of a desperate photo shoot, outfitted in matching shirt.

In the words of former Senator Claire McCaskill (tweet below), she’s “lost her way, and isn’t really sure who she is.”

Once upon a time, Haley fashioned herself as a reasonable conservative, even signing a bill as governor to remove the Confederate flag from South Carolina’s state capital.

But yet, after an inglorious stint serving as Donald Trump‘s United Nations Ambassador, Haley said the Confederate flag symbolized “service, sacrifice and heritage” to some people in her state.

It’s apparent that Haley is lost. When she launched her doomed presidential campaign, she leaned into her distinction as the “first minority female governor” in history. At the time, Politico wrote the “2024 hopeful can’t decide who she wants to be—the leader of a post-Trump GOP or a ‘friend’ to the president who tried to sabotage democracy.”

Months later, Haley still can’t decide. She has nowhere to sit in the GOP primary lunchroom. Haley could team up with the flailing Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis, but his super PAC has started targeting–despite her low-single digit poll numbers!

It’s lonely at the bottom.

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