SQUEEZE IT

Nine Mousepads With Squeezable Man-Booty

chrom mousepadThe problem with internet porn, if we really have to nitpick, is that pictures of hunky men lack anything to actually physically squeeze. What’s to be done?

Mouse pads to the rescue! Apparently, it is a thing to make sexy mousepads with butt cheeks over the gel pads. (Or over the boobs, if you’re a lady-fancier.)

DeviantArtist Strobolights recently held a giveaway for a gel mousepad featuring Fire Emblem’s Chrom, offering the viewer a come-hither whimper. Those are some cheeks!

Fortunately, even if you missed the giveaway or Chrom’s not your type, there are plenty of other naughty mousepads to be had. Click through for a collection of our favorites.

tiger and bunny

Here’s Wild Tiger from Tiger & Bunny, looking thoroughly submissive. We’re digging the sissy stockings, the bell necklace, and the neko ears.

But of course it’s that expression that makes this a true yaoi treat. “Oh no, you mustn’t violate me! I might enjoy it!” Bring your own tentacles.

This work of art can be yours for $19.38 plus S&H, or $16.50 if you order thirteen of them. And why wouldn’t you?

Alas, this is the only model that we could actually find for sale anywhere on the internet. The rest all seem to be concept-mousepads, awaiting execution.

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We don’t recognize this character — please leave his name in the comments if he looks familiar — but he certainly has a dapper starfish.

Also, this is probably as good an opportunity as any to point out something that should be obvious but apparently isn’t: boys, if you want to take a tempting picture of yourself, clutching your ass cheeks and pointing a taut rectum at the camera is the most un-sexy thing you can possibly do. Please stop.

uke mouspad

Another unidentified character. Anime nerds, please fill us in! (So to speak.) 

The jaunty salute is a nice touch. Aye-aye!

Masamune Date

Alas, this mousepad featuring Masamune Date doesn’t appear to be available online anymore, which is a real shame. We love how his arms are crossed, as though daring us to poke him in the perineum.

superboy

Ah, the rare mousepad with male décolletage! You know you’re reading a special post when you read the sentence, “it’s the lack of taint that makes this one extra-tasteful.”

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Executive realness! Or is he a butler? Anyway, we have no idea who this character is. We tried doing a Google Image search, but all the matches that came up were handbags, which may be telling. That’s quite a gleam on those cheeks.

ku-medium

We have a feeling that this particular model was originally intended to bear female art. Either that, or Wild Tiger’s penis is doing something very unusual indeed.

We were hoping that Jlist.com would actually have this model for sale, since they watermarked the hell out of it. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find any sign of it. We can’t imagine Tiger & Bunny would actually license their characters for this sort of thing, so maybe the copyright-enforcement killjoys caught up with them. Booooooo.

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And we’ll leave you with this fellow. Like so many of his ilk, we were unable to identify him by name. But who needs names when there’s ogling to be done?

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