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Alternate History

NM Legislator Thinks Gay Men Should Stop “Whoring” And Marry “Local” Women

It’s a law of political physics: when it comes to marriage equality, some Republicans can’t open their mouths without subtracting from the sum total of human knowledge. The latest example: New Mexico state Sen. William Sharer, who is leading the anti-marriage charge in that state. In a walk through the groves of alternate reality, Sharer advised gays to follow the example of Alexander the Great: stop “whoring” around with men and marry “a local woman.”

In a blog post, Sharer decided to illustrate the usual tired arguments about marriage having to be limited to a man and a woman to take a tour through a version of history that you won’t find in any textbook.  This included a visit to that “pre-Christian philosopher” Confucius and a review of Pocohantas’ love life to prove that marriage was valued by Native Americans “long before any Bible totin’ Christian ever walked on this continent.”

But it was really in Macedonia that Sharer hits his stride. “Alexander may have engaged in homosexual activity, but he married a woman,” Sharer wrote, confusing the military genius with an ancient prototype for John Paulk. “He directed his officers to stop ‘whoring’ around and find a local woman to marry.”

In case you’re wondering why Sharer thinks it’s OK to ruin two lives in an unhappy marriage, he quotes Alexander himself: “‘It is only through blood relations that hatred and war will end’.  In other words, Alexander the Great thought that marriage was about creating and raising the next generation.”

We haven’t noticed a noticeable reduction in hatred and war since Alexander purportedly dispensed that advice, but then we haven’t been following the news much since 323 B.C.

Sharer assured Talking Points Memo that he harbored no animosity to the LGBT community. Why would we ever think that?

Photo credit: WilliamSharer.com

By:          John Gallagher
On:           Aug 29, 2013
Tagged: , , , ,
    • 2eo

      It’s a shame this man wasn’t the subject used to determine the answer to “How hilarious would it be to throw a bigot through a woodchipper feet first?”, I’d stump up the rental fee myself.

      Aug 29, 2013 at 7:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dev.C

      how ironic is it for him to be holding a snake? Please trip down a flight of stairs.

      Aug 29, 2013 at 10:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MK Ultra

      He looks like he’s hanging himself with a noose in that pic with the snake!

      Aug 30, 2013 at 12:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eiswirth

      What a friggin moron. First he insults all gay men, than he insults the women they should marry. But when have republicans ever had any respect for women, or anyone who isn’t white, wealthy and has a penis?

      Aug 30, 2013 at 12:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg

      I hope he is one of those Pentecostal types who play around with dangerous snakes in church because they “know” that God will protect them from a fatal bite. Fortunately, this often doesn’t work for some reason.

      Aug 30, 2013 at 11:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LubbockGayMale

      Rick Perry’s been talking to this ‘boy’ apparently!

      Aug 30, 2013 at 11:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mcflyer54

      Totally amazing. This guy is so stupid even the snake didn’t want to risk biting him.

      Aug 30, 2013 at 6:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dbmyers

      To be historically accurate Alexander married two women and had children by both (and each were poisoned during the battles for succession after Alexander’s death. These sham marriages and the subsequent pregnancies were for the purposes of providing heirs to Alexander. The real loves of his life were Hephaestion, whom he met at age fifteen and become life-long lovers with (Hephaestion was also his life-long right hand general) and Bagoas (a Persian eunuch boy, formerly the only male member of Persian King Darius III’s harem before Alexander conquered Darius’ Persian army. New Mexico state Sen. William Sharer should be ashamed of himself for advocating that gay men remain in the closet, lie, and ruin both their own and their falsely married wives'(“beards” – sham girlfriends or wives to help gay men pass as heterosexual)lives with such dishonorable and harmful marriages, just to make Sharer more comfortable by not having to acknowledge the existence of gay men. For shame Sharer, you do a dishonor to your office.

      Aug 30, 2013 at 6:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Globaltraveler

      “How hilarious would it be to throw a bigot through a woodchipper feet first?


      Damn, that line is funny as hell. You made me laugh out loud. Literally. Thanks for that.

      Aug 30, 2013 at 6:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jmmartin

      Isn’t that a snake around his neck? Draped over his shoulders? Well, of course. Now we know why he’s so homophobic, he’s a member of a snake-handling cult within the Christian faith, the guys who take up serpents because the Buy Bull told them it was OK, if you have faith you will not be bitten. They also talk in tongues — that’s glossolalia to the readers of this site who know their English language (unlike this guy, who is far too ignorant). What he actually meant to say is not that gays should quit playing the field and emulate Alexander the Great, settle down, and marry a…a what? A woman? Gays should marry woemn? Oh, OK. But what he actually meant to say is, “Hoolaloolalogola hopalola nossie makalaka tomasoma nee ho literabula asa nisi masa.” I will not insult your intelligence by translating that, but it is from the book of I Centurians 23:13. The late gay eminence gris, author William S. Burroughs did a take on snake handling cults, saying he’d personally help them out by contributing a fine specimen to be tossed about and allowed to coil around the glossolalian: “a black mamba.”

      Aug 30, 2013 at 9:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • OutnProud

      This coming from someone who’s probably getting it on the in office on the side

      Aug 31, 2013 at 1:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Allen D.

      I wonder if my “lucky” (read: formerly spinstered) bride will mind the taste of my true love’s ass on my dick. Is that what this guy really wants to put women through? Just ridiculous.

      Sep 1, 2013 at 8:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Victor_in_PA

      Another friggin’ teapublikkkan moron. I know that’s redundant because, if you’re a teapublikkkan, it’s already a given that you’re a complete idiot. They pride themselves on just how stupid and ignorant they can be.

      Sep 1, 2013 at 12:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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