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Not Every Woman Has A Problem With Being Excluded From Gay Bars

As a former club owner and producer of nights with very strict dress codes, I must side with the rights of the club owners and producers/promoters to exclude people who they feel might co-opt or hijack the ambiance or privacy of their night. There have always been and will always be gay bars, clubs and parties where like-minded women are not just welcomed but encouraged. I have and will continue to attend and support those parties, but rigorously defend the right of party-givers to create the atmosphere they desire.”

NYC nightlife goddess Chi Chi Valenti, discussing complaints about straight women co-opting gay bars, in Next magazine.

On:           Jun 15, 2012
    • NickadooLA

      I enjoyed Louis Peitzman’s piece in Gawker last month on this subject:


      Jun 15, 2012 at 11:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wil Kuhlmann

      I hate feminist, I love broads!

      Jun 15, 2012 at 11:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • darkorient

      @NickadooLA: I like one of the comments better: We better shut our mouths off the next time a gay person denied entrance to a straight bar for being “annoying”

      Jun 15, 2012 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NickadooLA

      @darkorient: Never once in that article does he suggest barring straight people or straight women from gay bars. This is not discrimination against any particular person or group for their orientation, but about a specific event: bachelorette parties.

      Whether or not you or I agree with such a policy, I think he presents an incredibly valid argument: holding a bachelorette party at a gay bar can seem grossly exploitive and tasteless. That IS annoying.

      Jun 15, 2012 at 5:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nina

      Just sayin’–I’ve been hissed at and had some pretty hateful comments–including straight slurs, how quickly we forget–made toward me by gay men when I’ve been in gay bars, and I was there with my girlfriend. Apparently because we both wear makeup, have long hair, and show up in skirts or dresses, we’re straight (actual comment from the bartender when I told him I was wondering why so many people seemed intent on chasing us out: “Well, you don’t really look like the dyke type”).

      As long as there are straight women who are being chased out of gay bars, lesbians will also be chased out of gay bars for not “looking the part” (I am so sorry I have committed the mortal sin of liking to wear high heels for what they do to my legs). Yes, I have a BIG problem with that. I don’t enjoy sitting home instead of going out to dance just because a bunch of uptight gay men have their panties in a bunch that I have a vagina, like vagina, and breathe their air, but after someone threatens to punch you, you learn to stay home.

      Jun 15, 2012 at 8:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Codswallop

      From the linked article: “…and Los Angeles’ The Abbey recently announced a ban on bachelorette parties, effectively banning groups of women.”

      Uh, no. Neither women nor groups of women are banned from the Abbey, just bachelorette parties. And frankly, if you need someone to tell you that it’s not OK for you to hold a party celebrating your upcoming marriage in front of a group of people who recently LOST the right to marry then you’re too fucking stupid to be in public and should probably just stay at home. Since people like that seem to be devastatingly self-involved and clueless, I’ll also add that infertility support groups and groups for bereaved parents of children lost to SIDS are unsuitable places to hold your baby shower.

      Some gay male clubs are centered around sex and hooking up and women can ruin the vibe. If it’s unclear to you why that is, the next time you want to ‘let loose,’ drink too much and maybe pick someone up, invite your mother to go along. You two can discuss it after she’s thoroughly ruined your plans.

      Thanks to Sex And The City, Kathy Griffin, etc., there are some not-very-bright, media addled straight women who view gay men as a must-have accessory, “her gays” who are supposed to act as satellites to the fabulousness that is herself. Maybe some gay men are content in that role but most are not. 99.9% of the planet is dedicated to “straight space” but, believe it or not, gay bars are not also about YOU.

      There are also straight people, singles and couples, who seem to view going to a gay bar like a trip to the zoo or think they’re Margaret Mead among the natives. Next time go to one of the Lion Country Safari places instead. Please tie a pork-chop around your neck before you go.

      Jun 16, 2012 at 9:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981

      There are also straight people, singles and couples, who seem to view going to a gay bar like a trip to the zoo or think they’re Margaret Mead among the natives. Next time go to one of the Lion Country Safari places instead. Please tie a pork-chop around your neck before you go.

      This is what I hate. Can’t go to a dyke bar without being hit on by men, or stared at here. Also, asked weird questions about my sex life by straight women. It blows. I want to go to a gay bar and be gay with no hassle.

      Until there is equality and societal acceptance, sorry, but the reverse discrimination argument doesn’t work. Furthermore, having a bachelorette party in a gay bar? Can they be any more insensitive and clueless?

      Jun 16, 2012 at 10:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bachelorette

      It is right in the article about gay bars.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 7:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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