To honor Jane Russell, the 1940s and 50s Hollywood sex symbol who passed away today, we have placed her at the top of our Drag Race live blog. That’s probably what she would have wanted… to top off a live blog about drag queens. Gentlemen prefer blondes, but angels prefer brunettes. Rest in peace, Jane darling.
RE-CAP: Shit-talking Shangela is the outright villain of the show. Raja and Manilla are the good guys. If Stacy and Delta don’t get the axe soon, I will shit a basketball.
10 PM – Seven more girls to go! Tonight the ladies get naked… and do something having with cake. Let’s hope they’re combined! Mariah left “MUG 4 DAYZ” written in lipstick on the mirror. After the girls all toast to her memory, Alexis is like, “Let’s erase it!”
10:03 PM – RuPaul sends a she-mail telling the boys to get ready to put some c*** in their mouths. Then in comes Ru with the bait-and-switch telling the girls that instead of c***, they have to pose nude with only a swath of cloth covering their bizness. Delta is appalled because she doesn’t even like having sex naked and Stacey’s feeling self-conscious too. Stacey ends up slipping out a boob like she did two weeks ago in her scandalous paparazzi photo, Raja works the camera like she always does, Delta all but hides behind the cloth, Yara’s shaky nerves radiate through the lens, and Manilla apparently has a tattooed body, but Carmen Carerra wins it with a seductive look, one leg extended!
10:10 PM – So the challenge this week is that the girls have to design a dress based around a cock, err… cake… and Carmen gets to pick who gets what—sweet! So she deliberately screws over the “mean girls” Stacey, Shangela, and Alexis (is Alexis a mean girl?) by giving them the most visually boring cakes available: a cheesecake goes to Alexis, Stacey gets red velvet, a pineapple upside down goes to Shangela, Yara gets strawberry shortcake, Manila gets carrott cake, Raja gets chocolate lava cake, and Carmen gets the princess cake (because she’s a princess… or something). Shangela doesn’t know how to sew, so she might be toast.
10:16 PM – Stacey understands that couture is one-of-a-kind, high fashion but Ru has doubts that she will pull it off. Manila says she’s doing a Givenchy meets Jessica Rabbit thing, but Ru’s not so sure she can pull it all together either. Alexis promises to take her cheesecake gown from a boring quilt into something crazy. Yara’s idea is so cray-cray that Ru just leaves him alone. Delta says he’ll deliver something young while standing in front of a matronly dress. Ru says that Carmen’s princess cake dress looks like “the Barbie doll version” of a princess. Shangela doesn’t sew very well and that’s the first thing Ru brings that up which means Shangela is gonna have to start sucking up and eating crow to get some help—delicious!
10:24 PM – Commercial: If you’re poor like everyone else, try the Walgreen’s knock-offs of popular drugs. Just say YES to their drugs. Another commercial: One day internet search engines will make everyone in the supermarket a gibbering, food-throwing moron. And yet another commercial: This lead-filled orange juice fad is really catching on! Is your child drinking it yet? If not, the other kids at school are laughing at them. Poison your baby… ask us how!
10:26 PM – In addition to making a dress, apparently the ladies have to ice and decorate a cake that represents their personality. Alexis decides to take pity on Shangela for some reason while the other ladies make their dresses on their own. The “good girls” have all taken to calling each other “Heather” like the 3 Heathers from the movie with Winona Ryder… how far Ms. Ryder has fallen. Am I the only one who thinks that she wasn’t acting in Black Swan? Drunkenly swearing at younger actresses and walking into traffic… hmmm….
10:32 PM – It would be the ultimate irony if Alexis ends up getting the axe because she’s been spending all her time helping Shangela get it together. Color me competitive, but if I were Alexis, I’d be letting Shangela burn. Oooh gurl, I am nasty! And by the look of it the girls are gonna pull out the claws and sling some serious cake on the runway! Can’t wait!
10:37 PM – Ru comes in wearing a “fruitcake” dress that would get her eliminated it she were a contestant. One of her guest judges is Eliza Dushku who has the most unfortunate name for a drag judge ever. Stacey Layne looks like a glamorous blood clot. Shangela rocks the sleek yellow dress with a glittering pineapple slice. Alexis in comparison looks horrid in her Bed Bath and Beyond bedspread skirt. Delta looks surprisingly great in her 1950s angel food cake ensemble! Manila and Raja both seemingly take a cue from Lady Gaga with Manila rocking a huge red bow on her head and Raja working a poofy brown skirt that looks like the “walk, walk fashion baby” part of “Bad Romance.”
10:49 PM – Billy B is really in high form tonight calling out each and every girl on the catwalk. Manila’s white bunny makeup is not working for him, but everyone does love/hate her art deco carrot belt. Alexis’ dowdy skirt is not doing it for anyone. Raja’s bloomers show and according to Billy she’s got gothy spooky makeup. Carmen looks like the Princess of New Jersey. Everyone agrees that Stacey looks awful and should go home. The judges think that Delta looked like the beauty school dropout from Grease (in a good way). One of the judges asks Shangela whether she really wants to be a drag queen because she lacks that certain je ne sais quoi (which is French for sewing skills).
10:56 PM – Jara, Delta, Shangela, Carmen, and Manila are safe. Raja is the winner! Stacey and Alexis are up for elimination! Who will lip-synch better? Alexis works the the high energy routine to “Knock on Wood” and STACEY IS TOAST!!! Girl certainly worked hard, but good riddance. May Delta be next.